I see they’ve toned down the wardrobe. Back in the day, they would give out this one. 
I’d need a sportier one to celebrate being an Official Monsanto Troll™ - maybe the classic image of someone injecting evil-looking green fluid into an apple to represent the Ebil GMOs. 
I actually qualify for this one, since I made the antivax Enemies List.
Well, you certainly have a well-stocked wardrobe. I bet various organizations have sent you tons of these.
Sadly, there don’t seem to be any thread hijack t-shirts, otherwise I’d have an idea for my Xmas gift list. 
Getting back to ATMB-ish territory, is there any hope for a new line of Dope t-shirts? I bet the artier posters would line up for the right to design them.
I’m in it for the tits. Or maybe the tats.
I heard it’s unlikely, as they really took a bath on the previous merchandise. 
I’m glad I got my SDMB mug when I did, along with other misc. swag. 
I don’t know how long ago they took their last bath, but I found a site that does custom mugs individually. $10.49 for one custom mug. You can easily upload any image you want. The price goes down slightly for large orders.
Maybe put an intern at the Chicago Reader on it, double the price to cover his time. No initial investment. Profit.
Similar options exist for custom t-shirts. Do a limited run based only on pre-orders, which will be boosted by the knowledge that limited edition Straight Dope t-shirts can later be sold for $$$ on eBay.
Can’t miss.