Capers, especially when their pickled nastiness contaminate a perfectly good piece of smoked salmon.
If you want ketchup with your fries, dip the fries in the ketchup. Then they have the flavor of ketchup but aren’t soggy.
They’re roughly equivalent to chicken menstrual periods, unless you’re buying fertilized eggs. I know this isn’t helping.
Amen! Cottage cheese has the taste and texture of vomit.
I have told Mr. Neville that cottage cheese isn’t kosher, because I think there’s some rule in the Talmud that one isn’t supposed to eat disgusting things. There is, of course, a rule of common sense that says the same thing, for you atheists…
Split pea soup looks and smells like diarrhea.
Heh, you said “blow!”
Definitely agree with cottage cheese, that shit comes out of Satan’s butthole, gahh!
My most evil food is organ meats–who eats this shit? It’s called “offal” for a reason, people! Kidneys actually smell like piss when cooked, why would anyone put something like that in their mouth? The worst, though, is liver–especially beef liver. Now, I can enjoy a nice smooth pork or chicken liver pate with truffles in, but ever since my mother forced me to make her liver and onions when I was a teenager (long story, but she was incapacitated and unable to cook so it fell to me) I can’t stomach even looking at raw beef liver. See, to make liver and onions the first thing you have to do is cut these gigantic, nasty, rubbery VEINS out of the slimy liver (which smells like something I can’t even think about so don’t ask) and cut it into slimy chunks. Then it’s floured and fried, which also smells horrible. After your stomach is completely roiled by having to touch and smell the damned liver it’s just insult to injury to have to slice up a huge amount of onion too–and the combined smell of liver and raw onion on the hands means it’s just the gift that keeps on giving even after a complete decontamination regimen.
I have an asian market that sells balut, that is so foul and wrong I can’t even begin to think about it without retching a bit. It’s not only a nasty food, it’s also so horrible that they make the damned duck incubate the eggs aaaaaallmost to hatching, THEN take them away! It’s just mean! (Yes, I’m aware they probably use incubaters these days, but originally they didn’t and the bad karma still stands!)
yet another mayo-on-burger person, here. 
the divemaster continues to search for the committment papers…
cilantro is the devil’s invention. should see me at mexican restaurants try to explain to the waiter - who, chances are really good english isn’t his first language - that i WILL NOT eat dishes that contain it.
lima beans. they should be wiped from the face of the earth and erased from human memory. vile, nasty things…
sour cream and chive potato chips. got very, VERY drunk eons ago in college and downed a bagful. then i sobered up and the hangover began, which resulted in the chips making a reoccurring appearance for hours. i haven’t gone near them since. can hardly stand to be in the same room with a bag of them even to this day.
and last but not least, although like gatorade, it’s not a food, do not EVER show me a bottle of pepto-bismol. i actually backed away from the divemaster when he offerered me some for a stomach ache. once. he learned his lesson instantly and offered charcol capsules, which worked just fine.
i loathe and hate and detest the stuff with a passion so black it absorbs light.
Coconut. I can’t stand either the flavor or the texture. I have to be vigilant at the Thai restaurant 'cause they try to sneak coconut into things.
I agree about the cottage cheese, and bananas become inedible once the last bit of green fades from the peel.
Parboiled rice.
Don’t ask why… damned if I know. I’m fine with all other forms of rice and will happily eat it till I’m ready to burst from the starchy goodness, but there’s just something about the unnatural individual-dry-grains format of parboiled rice that makes me gag on it.
The Boy has already been advised that he can buy jasmine rice, basmati rice, brown rice, wild rice, arborio rice… but the day he brings home a bag of parboiled Uncle Ben’s will be followed by the night he sleeps on the couch.
ETA: Mayo on burgers is god’s gift to emulsified oil products. There is no amount of scorn that can convince me otherwise.
What’s the matter with you mayo-on-burger people? If it were a nice aioli or mayo-based sauce with chili peppers in it, I could understand it. But mayo just adds a disgusting gooshiness to sandwiches.
Oh, and for anyone who is so misguided as to eat Miracle Whip- Miracle Whip tastes like mayonnaise that is six months past its expiration date. I know this because I learned the hard way when I was 15 that you should never eat anything out of my mom’s fridge (or my grandma’s fridge, or, now, my fridge) without carefully checking the sell-by date first. I also learned the hard way that, if your sandwich doesn’t taste the way you expected it to but doesn’t taste that bad, you shouldn’t eat the rest of it. I was sick for a month after that.
It wasn’t all bad, though- it did mean I was sick on the day we were supposed to dissect a worm in biology class (the only dissection we did in that biology class). Better yet, my bio teacher was also the softball coach, so coming in after school to make it up wasn’t an option. Best of all, I was doing well enough in the class that he recommended I just take a zero for that lab, and I’d still have an A in the class 
When my parents became convinced, in the mid-1980s, that liver was actually bad for you (because it has a lot of cholesterol), that was proof enough for me that there is a good God.
I don’t eat organ meats, decomposing fish, or other nasty stuff. I am thankful that Mr. Neville and I have good jobs that pay us enough money that we can eat good things instead of stuff like that.
I will speak up in defense of heart meat. It’s lean and, until recently, extremely cheap.
I am scared that your link on surstromming includes a link to a recipe for do-it-yourself surstromming. :eek:
I completely agree. I also hate the smell. There was a time it even made me sick, and I have been known to order people out of my office if they are eating one, or have recently eaten one.
Money was pretty tight when I was a kid. We never went hungry or anything but we got the monthly food basket from church, ate that crap that the government calls cheese, and probably had meat once or twice a week.
However, from the time before memories until junior high, I ate oatmeal for breakfast six days a week. Oats, powdered milk, and a few raisins sprinkled in. No fresh fruit, brown sugar, maple syrup, etc. Just oats, powdered milk, and raisins. To this day, I cannot even smell it without gagging and I haven’t eaten it in over 20 years (I’m 36 now).
And just to show that the universe understands irony, it has recently been brought to my attention that I need to pay a little closer attention to my cholesterol. And guess what is an excellent way to start each day if you want to drop that LDL a few points?!?!
Ever had thymus gland, AKA sweetbreads? Prepared correctly, it’s among my favorite meats. Had some at a French-Korean restaurant just last week, in fact.
Also, just FYI for those of you debating the merits of mayonnaise, there’s a restaurant in New York that includes deep-fried mayo capsules as an accompaniment. They’re the little golden-brown cube thingies. Delicious.
Hmmmm, the surstromming looked like something I’d like to at least try. One of my big food evils is the Brussel Sprout which I have named “Satan’s Sweaty Balls” I’ve tried and tried to learn to like those dastardly things but I just can’t choke the damn things down. My latest and hopefully last attempt was drowning steamed sprouts in the cheese sauce I made for my Kentucky Hot Browns.
There’s something inherently wrong with at food that can’t be made edible even when smothered in cheese. Urp
My dad felt the same way about chicken for basically the same reason. He was poor growing up and they raised chicken. He wouldn’t eat it as an adult.
There are other oat-based cerials. Cheerios and even Life. I eat Life as a snack instead of chips and my cholesterol has come down so far that my doc always says “excellent” in tones of disbelief.
There is only one clam chowder, ketchup on hot dogs is evil, and life without shellfish is not worth living. Those are not just good ideas, they are the law.
Aside from that…
Anything called “salad” that does not contain lettuce. (I’ll give a pass to waldorf and carrot and raisin.) Noodle, egg, potato, and especially tuna. Those are the four salads of the apocalypse. Evil, evil, evil.
And let’s not forget jello salad. Jello alone is evil enough, but when it’s sullied with whipped topping, marshmallows, and cabbage, it’s a recipe for puke. And no, mom, your special recipe is not different.
Swiss steak. What a horrible, cruel thing to do to steak. Hey, here’s a great idea, let’s take a perfectly good steak and give it a pH balance of 2.
Bean soup. shudder
Cooked greens. I loves me some spinach and can eat that stuff by the bucket, but NajaHusband has developed a taste for mustard greens, kale, chard, and so on. I really, really, really wish I enjoyed these, as I love all other veggies, but there’s something about the taste that just… twinges my ick reflex. However, they’re about the only cooked veggie he’ll eat with any gusto, so I make them for him all the time and will then usually roast some brussels sprouts for myself, which I love but he refuses to eat… then we’re both sufficiently happy and equally squicked out by each other’s choice of green stuff 
In knew they weren’t embryos, but couldn’t figure out what to say they were instead. Thanks for providing the answer to that.
And of course the mayo goes on the top bun, where it mixes with the tomato and lettuce (and maybe a slice of pickle). The bottom bun, next to the meat, gets the catsup, mustard, whatever else.
Unless you’re at Wendy’s. Top bun gets (and always in this order) Mayo,catsup,pickle,onion,tomato,lettuce. Mustard is applied to the top of the hamburger patty or cheese.
I can’t believe I remember that…they had this stupid training video where it was pounded into our head…white,red,green,white,red,green.
Another vote for eggs. I don’t care where they come from – I love fish eggs – but I can’t stand even the smell of chicken eggs. Mayonnaise, neither. I can’t recall the times I’ve had to send back a sandwich because (despite my order) there was mayonnaise on it.
No loss, my cholesterol’s too high anyway.
Onions: I love them cooked, can’t at all stand them raw.
Whaaaaaa-? That sounds like the stuff of nightmares!
Crunchy peanut butter cookies. I got violently ill from Nutter Butters when I was a kid and asfter a week, and could eat solieds again, I had…some more of the Nutter Butters. Peanuts, sure, Peanut sauce on satay, yum! dry crunchy sugary peanut cookie types? Shudder.
Also not a fan of celery as a crunchy ingredient, it’s ok if cooked to death in chicken soup or in a mirepoix. Otherwise I think it overpowers anything it is in. I think it’s a texture thing as I also really dislike bell beppers as well.