“Are you sure we’ve never met?”
Apparently I look like someone everyone knows. I constantly meet new people who insist we’ve met, even after we run down all of the possibilities. It got so bad that for a few years I’d answer the question by giving the person my thousand-yard stare, and say, “you ever done time?”
That freaked a few people out pretty badly, so my gf asked that I stop it. 
Don’t remember that one, Limmin.
LOL, kayaker. Steven Wright jokes about saying to hitchhikers he’s just picked up, “So, how far did you think you were going…?”
I internally scream in chromosomal anguish every time someone asks where my son’s red hair comes from. It’s like nobody has ever heard of recessive genes.
Explaining the basics of inheritance is a waste of time (and borderline rude), so we’re coming up with snarky joke answers. Bottle of Clairol, ate too many carrots during pregnancy, demonspawn, adoption agency, etc.
I think you are misinterpreting my post.
“Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?” 
“Is the road closed?”
It doesn’t matter if every square inch of the road is covered in cones (and believe me you can’t leave 6 inches open or someone will try to drive through). It doesn’t matter if there is a police car with lights on across the road. It doesn’t matter if there is a giant “road closed” sign. It doesn’t even matter if they can see there is a giant hole or fire trucks blocking the entire road and no physical way of getting through unless the car can fly. Someone will always ask “is the road closed?”
Well, damn. This seemed like a perfect set-up for a joke about the Confederate Air Force (a living history group that preserves and flies WWII aircraft), but they’ve apparently changed their name.
Back when I delivered pizza, people were always asking me if I had any extra pizzas I could sell them. Extremely rarely I would end up with an extra, but it was so rare you’re just wasting your time asking.
Not to mention the fact that I could take home the extra pizza for free at the end of the day.
Hope springs eternal…
No one is that stupid.
you must not deal with the public very much
A lot more time has passed since the invention of the anti-aircraft gun than has passed between the civil war and the anti-aircraft gun!
After being told I have boy/girl twins: “Are they identical?”
(Granted it’s possible once they are old enough for gender and biological sex to be incongruent, but I’ve been asked since they were infants.)
Same question with the two kids standing right in front of them. I know some people might have trouble discerning differences in features, but one of them is about 4 inches taller than the other. Are they thinking we just don’t feed one of them?
“And do you like movies about gladiators?”
I’ve asked how big is the Small Pizza and how big is the Large Pizza, and been told they are 6 and 8 slices respectively.
I disagree. Many things come in nominal sizes that aren’t the real sizes. There’s nothing on an 18" television screen that measures 18". A “quarter pounder” burger weighs less than a quarter pound (unless you eat it raw). How are people to know exactly how big is a 16" pizza? I can picture what I expect when I order one, but I’ve never taken a tape measure to it. Have you?
At the grocery store I often buy a large number of identical items, such as six-packs of seltzer water. They allow customers to leave most of them in the cart and put just one up on the conveyor for scanning. I used to say “I have a total of # of this item”, and they would ALWAYS ask, “Including this one?” So I gave up and now I say “I have a total of # of this item including this one.”
So if you order pizza regularly, you know a 6 pizza is a small, about 8", and an 8 slice pizza is medium, about 10".
No, but I can guess the size of something by eyeballing it. 16" is about the distance from my elbow to the tip of my middle finger.
Try measuring the diagonal.