Nope, I heard it once from a friend of mine, and for some reason it has stuck with me for twenty plus years.
I heard this one when I was a kid:
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
itty bitty birdie feet,
ten gallon cans of all-purpose porpoise pus
and I forgot my spoon,
So give me a ham sandwich with puke on top,
Monkey vomit and camel snot,
Elephant eyeballs and toenails too,
Eat it all cuz it’s good for you!
Then there’s always:
All the girls in France do the Hula Hula dance
And the way they shake
Is the way you kill a snake.
When the snake is dead they stick flowers in their head.
When the flowers die it is 1969.
On the planet Mars, all the ladies smoke cigars,
And the men don’t care cuz they chew their underwear.
Where did we come up with this stuff?
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Perforated people feet,
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
And I forgot my spoon.
You guys, what really MAKES the song is the loud, slurpy noise you make after you sing (my version) “But I brought my straw… SLLLLUUUURRRRPPPPPP.”
Follow the slurp with a loud smacking of lips and you’ll gross out most people over the age of 8.
My youth is coming back to me…
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We are torturing the teachers, we are breaking all the rules
We broke into his office and we ticled the principool,
The truth is marching on.
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ru-lah
I conked her on the bean
With a moldy tangerine
And the teacher don’t teach no more.
On top of old Smokey
A thousand feet tall
I shot my old teacher
With a big booger ball.
I shot her with glory,
I shot her with pride;
How could I miss her?
She’s forthy feet wide.
‘Tickled,’ ugh. My teachers would be disgusted.
The rhythm and rhyme of that one sounds vaguely like the one from WW2:
Well, I’m goin’ to Nagasaki, where the men all chew tobaccy,
and the women wicky-wacky-woo.
(pronouncing Nagasaki to rhyme with tobaccy, of course)
My version of “Battle Hymn of the School” (or whatever it’s called) went:
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher/We have broken every rule
We are marching down the halls writing cusswords on the walls
Our truth is marching on!
Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
Hit her in the butt with a rotten coconut
And she ain’t my teacher no more!"
There were various ways of removing the teacher–one could “find a .22 and put it in her shoe,” “hide behind the door with a loaded .44,” “meet her at the bank with a loaded Russian tank,” or “find a hand grenade and put it in her lemonade.” We got away with singing that stuff in the 70’s but I don’t know how well it would go over today.
I hereby invalidate all versions in which the penultimate line doesn’t end with an “eee” sound, because the last three lines need to rhyme.
Furthermore, lines such as “chopped up monkey meat” aren’t correct because they break up the rhythm. All lines need to be as packed with syllables as they can, so the jaunty flow is maintained.
And where is
“French fried eyeballs rolled around and fricasseed”
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
chopped-up parrots’ feet
lukewarm vomit rollin’ down the avenue
Darn, I forgot my spoon!
(But I got my straw.)
I can’t believe no one else sang about lukewarm vomit. You guys are missing OUT.
Every version of the immortal ‘Great Green Gobs’ seems to have been covered here (although as a Navy brat, I noticed that the versions seemed to vary according to region.) The only different version I recall ended the list of…er…ingredients…with ‘running down the drain’.
My recollection of ‘Mine Eyes’ is almost precisely the same as the one Hoopy Frood did, and I fondly remember the ‘Comet’ song as well. Does anyone else remember these camp staples, though?
- Both sung to the tune of My Bonny:*
My Bonny has tuberculosis
My Bonny has only one lung
My Bonny spits bloody corrosis**
And rolls it around on her tongue.
Don’t spit it out
Don’t spit it out
Save it to flavor your beans and kraut!
[repeat refrain once].
** I have no idea what in the heck word this was, but that’s what it sounded like.
And then the other one that used to make my poor mom gag:
My stomach is in a commotion
I long to lean over the rail
I fear that I’ll dirty the ocean
Won’t somebody bring me a pail?
Come up
Come up
Come up sweet dinner, come up, come up!
Come up
Come up
Come up sweet dinner come up!
*** in a high-pitched wistful tone ***
I’mmmmmm comiiiiiiinnnnngggg…
I’mmmmmm comiiiiiinnnnngggg…
For I can’t stay here an-y-moooore…
*** shouting ***
Hasten, Jason, bring the basin!
*** Make most gut-wrenching retching sound possible and continue with great good cheer ***
Too late, bring the mop!
Ah, memories…
I remember…
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdies feet
And you without a spoon to eat
But you can use my straw.
Only on the SDMB could such jewels as Great Green Gobs and Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory Of The Burning Of The School pop up.
I looooooooooove this message board. 
MY IMPOVERISHED SOUL HAS BEEN ENLIGHTENED!
No really. I was reading this thread going “No… Close… Maybe… No… No… Maybe… Close, but no… no… YES!!!”
Thanks! I thought I’d never find my version.
wipes a tear from my eye
Hmmm. Anybody else find it ineresting that there is no variation in the first line, and almost no variation in the second? You can change the song all around, but you’d better have them greasy grimy gopher guts and mutilitated monkey meat.
Anyway, the two variations I remember on the last three lines…
Itty bitty birdy feet
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts (yes, it repeated)
You can eat without a spoon
I always found the image of digging in with your hands added something…
Also…
French fried eyeballs
Ground up snail snot roasted over vulture venom
And I forgot my spoon.
Ha! I’m the first one to remember the snail snot.
I remember a kids’ record called “On Top of Spaghetti” that contained somewhat cleaned up versions of many of these (In the Battle Hymn of the School, I think they marched down to the office and tickled the Principal) along with the title song.
I just wanted to say that I heard what you people are trying to do to my feet, and you are sick! Sick I tells ya!
My version goes…
Great big gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts
Amputated animal fat, mutilated monkey meat
Great big gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts
Gee, I forgot my spoon
What are the words to this one? I never did learn the whole thing.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms crawl in and all over your snout
When I was in school a favorite song went as follows,
“On top of old smoky all covered in blood, I shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug, I went to her funeral I went to her grave, some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade.” to the tune of the childrens song “On top of spagghetti”
And of course “Joy to the world Saddam is dead, I blew off his head, don’t worry about his body I flushed it down the potty and down to hell it goes x3.” to the tune of … duh… Joy to the world the christmas carol.
And then there is " Randolph the shiny gunned cowboy, had a very shiny gun, and if you ever saw it, you would drop your pants and run. All of the other cowboys used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor randolph join in any cowboy games, then one foggy halloween the sheriff came to say… Randolph with your gun so bright won’t you kill my wife tonight? Then all the cowboys loved him as they shouted out in glee Yeehaw, Randolph the shiny gunned cowboy, best shot in the penitentary."
to the tune of Rudolph the red nosed reighndeer, (note the sheriffs voice is imitatedly that of a 80 year old man with a heavy drawling old west stereotypical accent)
does anyone else remember these?
LOL*These are too funny.
But NONE of them are exactly as I remember learning the "Great green gobs’ song from Girl Scouts.
<i>Great green gobs of greasy,grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, itty bitty birdy feet
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts and me without a spoon (aw shucks!) and me without a spoon.
But I have a straaaaaaaaaaaaaaawww!</i>
Girl Scouts was so cool…our counselors taught us the WORST songs I swear.
IDBB
AllShookDown-I’ll try, it’s been 40 years:
"Have you ever seen a hearse go by
thinking you might be the next to die?
They roll you up in a bloody sheet
throw you down about six feet deep.
The worms crall in, the worms crawl out
the worms play pinochle on your snout.
Your teeth decay, your eyes turn green
pus comes out like shaving cream.
You spread it on some moldy bread
that’s what you eat when you are dead".
I’m sure I’m missing a verse or three.
MisterThyrister-is that Hoagy Carmichael? Or what?
Ok, eh, maybe I just grew up in a really innocent place, but you guys are GROSS!!! I can’t believe teachers allowed this sort of stuff to be sang at school and such… let alone parents. Now, that being said, Rand’s version of the meatball song is the only one I sang as a child. I thought it was gross then, too. Perhaps it’s an elitist thing… who knows lol carry on though, it’s certainly nice to see people sharing childhood memories, even if they are rather barf inducing. :rolleyes: