My SO and I had a debate - he’s from the Wash. DC area, I’m from Mid MI. we both remember this song:
"Great Big Gobs of Greasy Grimey Gopher Guts,
Mutilated Monkey Meat
French Fried Eyeball Swimmin In a pool of blood
and I forgot my spoon!"
Now, he remembers (obviously wrong) the 3rd line to be " Petrified Porpoise Pus" while I remember (obviously right) “concentrated Birdies Feet” (which scans better, I must point out).
Now, I’m willing to consider that there may be regional differences here. So, Please:
Lived in Cincinnati, OH at that age. The line I learned was “Little dirty birdy feet.” A record of kids songs I had at the time said “Itty bitty birdy feet” and repeated “Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts” instead of “French fried eyeballs sitting in a bowl of blood.” Cleaned up for the parents, I suppose.
The version I recall (west Texas) both adds a little more alliteration and takes the rhyming even further…
Great green gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up parakeet
French fried eyeballs rolling down the muddy street
And I forgot my spoon
(but I’ve got a straw…)
Personally, I think the 5-syllable third line (“chopped…up…parakeet” with quick delivery of the first two words followed by a pause after each) is better than another 7-syllable line, adding a little more variety.
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little dirty birdie feet
All these things are very very good to eat
That’s what we had for lunch
For supper…
Scab sandwiches with pus on top
Monkey vomit and camel snot
Eagle eyeballs drenched in blood
And for dessert we had some mud
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey’s feet
Dehydrated birdies beaks
All mixed up with all-purpose porpoise pus
Drowning in pink lemonade.
(Gimme a straw!)
The first time I heard another version, I thought it was hilarious, and the other person got a big kick out of our version too.
umm, excuse me, the official version is
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Marmalade monkey meat
Chicken’s little dirty feet
Twelve pink pounds of petrified pelican puke
And I forgot my spoon.
(But I brought a straw! SLURP)
if by the official you mean my
Great green gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey feet,
Chopped up parakeet,
French-fried eyeballs rolling down the avenue
and I forgot my spoon!
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
(OR “mutilated Murphy meat”, he was an evil jerk of a teacher)
Chopped up baby parakeet
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
And I forgot my spoon
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little tiny birdie butts
All these things are good to eat
and I forgot my spoon,
so I’ll use a straw!
I guess boys will be boys and even back then we wanted a “little ass” when with a chick.
I grew up in Tennessee and learned a different version.
The ending I learned was very different, but I can’t remember the whole thing. It was something like:
Great, green globs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little piggies’ hairy feet.
All wrapped up in _________
Mixed in a barrel of blood.
Anyone know this version? The missing words are bugging me.
As I remember it, it went a little something like this:
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Putrefacted piggy feet
Eighteen eyeballs rollin’ up and down the street (alt: French Fried eyeballs - goodness what a tasty treat)
And I forgot my spoon…
Don’t remember any second verse, though.
And while we’re at it:
Eddie spaghetti with the meatball eyes
Pop him in the oven and ya got - French fries!
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher gut
Mutilated monkey meat
Little dirty birdy feet
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
And I forgot my spoon
Since this is a folk song, it is natural for there to be many variations on the lyrics. However, the song does have a Key Line, a Key Line being the one mandatory line that is the whole stinking point of the song–without which the song makes little or no sense. In the case of the McDonald’s parodies, it is, of course “McDonald’s is your kind of place”. In the Battle Hymn school parodies it is “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.”
In this case no one has yet remembered the key line of the song, although Brynda came real close.
The next to the last line absolutely positively has to be:
“All mixed up in one big Jell-0.”
It was common “knowledge” that Jell-o was made of disgusting leftover animal parts, and that those disgusting parts were what made it wiggle. In fact, the song was typically performed in the school cafeteria, and generally directed at people eating Jell-O in an attempt to make them gag.
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Dehydrated monkey butts
Mushed up mounds of roadkill raccoon in a pail
All in my sister’s soup
(and she ATE it!)
*** I forget this line. It was something about turtle tails, originally, but for some reason my best friend and I turned it into “Jeremy [last name deleted for his privacy]'s nuts” back in 5th grade. So mature.
