At my school it was “Massive mounds of monkey meat” after the first line, and I’ve forgotten the rest.
Version I know (learned from the kid who lived across the street from me in the 80’s)
Great big gobs of
Greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little pickled birdy feet
French fried eyeballs
Swimmin in a pool of blood
And I forgot my spoon!
How bout a straaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!
I have the book in this link, if you are at all interested in subversive children’s rhymes, this is for you.
(Michigan, early 1960s)
“Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Itty-bitty birdie feet
French-fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
And me without my spoon!”
I see only one person has mentioned the “itty-bitty birdie feet.”
As for the worm song, we sang it as:
“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The ants play pinochle on your snout”
“Glory, glory, hallelujah”: The most common version was “Met her at the door with a loaded .44,” but “Hit her in the bean with a rotten tangerine” and “…in the butt with a rotten coconut” were also heard.
Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little turdy-birdie feet.
Great big gobs of vomit rollin’ down the street,
And me without my spoon! 
In Iowa about 1973, I learned this with “milamated monkey meat” and “concentrated piggy feet.”
“Milamated” doesn’t seem to turn up anywhere else. The kid who vectored the song probably didn’t know the word “mutilated.”
Haven’t seen this variant yet:
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher gut
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
All wrapped up in all purpoise porpise skin
[big finale w/ arm extended] For your Mom & Dad.
Does anyone know of a version with a re-zombied verse?
Am I along?
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkeys feet
Roasty toasty parakeet
Rotten eyeballs floating in a bowl of pus
That’s what I love to eat
As long as someone else has already zombified this thread…
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Contaminated monkey meat,
Chopped up baby parakeet,
Nine green eyeballs,
Fried in a frying pan -
Darn! I forgot my spoon.
(pause)
How about a straaaaaaaw?
About the Worms song:
I’ve tried to find the link to a site that is a repository of these schoolyard songs, but have been unsuccessful.
and I know this is an old thread. Sorry, but sometimes they are the best ones.
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
Cows eye balls and
Percolated pimple pus
And me with out a spoon
But I got a straw!
And the teacher one…
On top of old smokey
all covered with sand
I shot my poor teacher
with a red rubber band
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I shot her between her
2 big fat eyes
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
I didn’t throw flowers
I threw a grenade
My aunt taught me this one…
You know one day when a hearse goes by
you know that you are gonna die
they’ll wrap you up in a wooden skirt
and cover you over with gravel and dirt
you’ll be alright for about a week
then your coffin begins to leak
you turn an icky sticky green
the pus runs out like whipping cream
the ants play pinochle on your snout
the worms crawl in the worms crawl out
Pssst! See post #83.
Old Thread, but my version was not listed:
Great green globs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, toasted little birdy feet
French fried eyeballs, swimming in a pool of blood
Me without my spoon!
Wow! My childhood version has slightly different wording:
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeet
French-fried eyeballs rolling down a dirty street
And I forgot my spoon!
A friend and I were remembering this little tune today, and it occurred to me to Google and see what the “real” words might be. I too am fascinated by the seeming regional variation and by the consistency of the beginning (so to speak).
I first heard it and instantly loved it, of course, in early grade school in San Mateo, CA in the late 50’s/early 60’s. I will remember it until my dying day, for whatever reason. Our version, inexplicably, was:
Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, roasty toasty birdie doo
All rolled up in Peabody’s purple puff
That’s what we’re having for lunch.
Go figure. This was before the days of LSD in that area, by the way …
Girls are made of greasy, grimy, gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdies’ dirty feet,
Humal eyeballs floating in a gorey sauce,
And, oops, I forgot my spoon.
That was in the early sixties in southern California.
My grandfather taught me the one that starts:
“Did you ever think, when the hearst went by, . . .”
So I’m guessing that some of these are ooold.
Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeet
French fried eyeballs dumped in a can of blood
How can I eat it with a spoon?
Got a straw?
<slurp>
Ah!
(I can’t believe this thread has been going on this long! :D)
Tra la la boom dee-yay
I took her pants away
I saw her standing there
I took her underwear
And when were feeling naughty:
She was coming around the mountain
Doing ninety miles an hour
When the chain on her motorcycle broke.
She was laying in the grass
With the tailpipe up her ass
And her titties playing Dixie on the spokes.
Well, if we’re being naughty…
To the tune of “Would you like to Swing on a Star”
Oh would you like to sit on my face
It’s a very wonderful place
And would you like to sit on my nose
And play around with my hose.
A hose is an animal that lives in my pants.
If you play with it long enough it’ll dance.
Don’t know of there were any other verses, the two guys singing it were so drunk they just kept repeating the same one.
The version my older sister taught me:
Great big gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Petrified parrot’s feet
Great big gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts
And Iiiiiii forgot my spoon.