Nanny for classic authoritarian WASP family was the easiest job I ever had in college. The children were in the custody of the grandfather because their parents had died or were missing as a result of drug problems. The grandfather was retired military and believed it was his ex-wife’s permissiveness and lack of discipline that lead to the problems with the parents. The kids loved and adored me. I wasn’t the hardass grandpa was. Who cares if they’re afraid as long as they obey seemed to be his motto. As long as I got the kids to and from their classes and appointments on time and didn’t break any house rules (no drinking, no boyfriends, etc.) he was perfectly happy. I would cart the kids around to their classes; then read while they practiced piano, studied French, rode horses, etc.
Really? When I lived in Cleveland, one of the Wal-Mart stores near me had a retarded greeter. All she did was stand at the door, and make “DURRRRR!”-like noises at people entering the store. I can’t imagine she would have been capable of doing much else.
Yeah, but if the traffic’s bad… There are towns where I wouldn’t mind it, but in a big city, it’d be stressful. Plus, you have to deal with the general public, which means you’ll get smelly people, rude people, people who try to stiff you, screaming children…
The lifeguards I knew also had to clean restrooms, work the desk, and other lousy parts. They did like their jobs, though.
Yep. I mean, it was an inland tourist town that practically closed down in winter, but I used to waste many hours with a buddy who usually had two or fewer guests come in each night. Internet, big pool… Good times.
One of the easiest jobs in the theatre business is a light board operator. The stage manager says “Go”, and you push a button. About two hundred times each night, for a medium-size musical. Then you probably did a dimmer check beforehand and locked up afterward. And some of these guys are union.
I had a great gig as a sound board op in a rental theatre. A group would come in and run the lighting guy ragged with requests, whereas I would receive a burned CD and play it on cue. One time a group spent almost a week writing light cues, while I took naps waiting for them to finish so we could run the thing. Long naps on overtime… Doesn’t get much better than that.
This summer I was working carpentry and stage crew at a childrens’ summer camp theatre where the management had decided 4:30 was a good time to call the kids to the stage to prepare for an 8:30 start time. We’d show up, help the kids set up (which took maybe 30 minutes once we got in a groove by the second week, unless the kids’ parents’ got sick of them and shipped them out early and the kids did all the work early), and sit on our asses, watching Youtube or commentating on the kids’ foursquare game. On the first weekend I was still on overtime from the tech week process (70-90 hour weeks) and I was short on sleep. Getting paid $27 to take a nap in a hammock still rates one of the best work experiences of my life.
I always figured that, apart from back problems, being an embassy/royal palace guard must be pretty darn easy. Just stand around (or sit in your little booth), look like you’re going to bite someone’s head off and zone out inside your head. Maybe sneak in an mp3 player and make believe it’s one of those Secret Service, Matrix Agent twisty cord earplugs.
Also, from experience : systems administrator. If you do your job right, you have no job to do for 95% of your day. Maybe plug a printer back on after the cleaning lady, or powercycle a server. That’s it, another hard day’s job done.
I’m a massage therapist at a hotel on the beach. It’s now the off season and this week we had zero business. I make more money when I’m working, but I still make a decent wage when I’m sitting on my butt surfing the internet, which I end up doing more often than not.
One of my students is clearly cut out for this. If you change anything in the problem, he’s lost. He’s really good a memorizing, which I suspect he developed partly out of compensation. But I truly think he’s going to stock shelves overnight for the next 50 years.
You missed the obligatory quotation:
Once stock becomes fully automated, he will be promoted to marketing.
Anyways, blame Tetris. 
Quite a lot (but not all) Security jobs are extremely boring and require absolutely no skills or mental acuity. Consequently they are filled with lazy, vacant headed jackasses who are absolutely unemployable in any other field.
And yet, for how incredibly easy so many of those positions are, it’s utterly astonishing how many people can’t manage to keep or even do the job.
Four years in Security. Four years, five companies. Never again.
Unicorn horn polisher and sharpener
I used to work a computer job that involved about thirty minutes of work in an eight hour shift. I was there mainly in case everything broke, which it never did. To top it, my boss thought it was stupid to have someone in this position, but his boss demanded it, so his revenge was to give me the maximum possible pay raises, so as to cost the company a lot. That’s where I discovered this place, and so many other internet goodies. That was also in the days of Napster… Ah, memories.
Anyway, I’ve always thought that driving a parking lot shuttle would be horrifyingly dull, but also all but completely mindless.
Fact checker for Sarah Palin.
What? You folks are actually awake; standing; sitting; doing something during these supposed sleeze jobs?? And you have to sleep on your own time??
4 Years of this -
Shift start, 3 second briefing from last shift, “No Nukes”. Check to make sure computers and alarms are working, “No red lights”. Eat, watch movies, play basketball, read, etc… for as many hours as you like. Eat, go to sleep for remainder of 12 hours shift. Wake up with 30 minutes to spare. Eat. Check computers and alarms, “No red lights”. Give 3 second brief to incoming shift, “No Nukes”. Start actual day refreshed. Do 3 of these 12 hour shifts a week; then 4 days off!
Not that stage managing is that much harder – follow along in the script. Everywhere a light cue is written, say “Light cue Go.” 
Obviously, that’s a gross oversimplification. As is your characterization of the light board operator. Sure, during performances our job is pretty easy, but there’s some intense pressure during the tech and dress rehearsal process to do some difficult programming in a very time and error sensitive environment. Not to mention getting the lighting system set up and running correctly in the first place.
Have you actually done this? If so, what would happen if you were asleep when something bad happened? Talk about being asleep at the wheel.
When I was in college, I worked for a neurology practice, calling patients with appointments the following day to remind them. The practice had a 6 month wait for appointments, and their no-shows dropped dramatically while I was doing the job.
I worked four hour shifts, five days a week, getting better than minimum wage.
[ul]
[li]Arrive for work. Place 12 calls in about 10 minutes[/li][li]Study for 50 minutes[/li][li]Call any no-answers back. Takes 2 minutes or less[/li][li]Study for an hour[/li][li]Call any no answers.[/li][/ul]
So, I got paid for 4 hours of “work” while I only spent 15 or fewer minutes placing calls. In addition, I had better than 3 1/2 hours of studying time. Sometimes I wish I had never quit/graduated.
Not so fast, there, skippy! Not everyone can do this!
U.S. Poet Laureate
The out-of-town analyst is a cushy job. Every manager trusts the random opinion of someone who came by plane over all his own staff. And it pays fivefold over real work.
Direct support provider in group home for developmentally-disabled adult men. Adult men who are fully independent in all aspects of hygiene, feeding, self-care, etc.
A typical shift looks like this:
- Clock in at 8:00 PM.
- Observe as they take their evening medications.
- Watch TV.
- Go to bed (there’s a bed in the office) around 10:30.
- Wake up at 6:30 AM.
- Observe as they take their morning medications.
- Observe as they cook their breakfasts.
- Watch some more TV.
- Clock out at 10:00 AM.
In a 14-hour shift, there’s about an hour of actual work.