I never went out and payed money to say, I just happened to be at a friends house who had. it.
:: silence as Dopers stare at SG. Crickets Chirp ::
Stop judging me!
::stares at Space Ghost::
Dungeons and Dragons (I know it has its own thread), and some bizarre vampire movie (out in the last three years) set in New Orleans (IIRC), where Judas turned out to be the original vampire.
I don’t pay good money to see movies very often and it makes me SO mad when I waste $8.50 like that!!
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned this yet…
BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE
Dear GOD that was awful. It was just 90 minutes of Martin Lawrence making a complete ass of himself. The movie wasn’t funny, the story wasn’t intersting, and the characters were completely flat. It’s like the movie just… happened. With most bad comedies, there’s at least ONE joke that makes me laugh. But no. There are NO jokes in this movie. I laughed zero times.
It’s just pathetic.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Leifsmama *
Of course there’s also Ghost World which was so bad that I’ve blocked it out of my mind.
[QUOTE]
Whoah whoah whoah. Ghost world is probably my favorite movie. It’s that only movie I wanted to hug after I saw, and I don’t like hugging anything. Nothing really shakes a 23 year old guy up more than realizing the the people you can most relate to are high school girls.
As for bad movies I’m going with:
Natural Born Killers : Alittle too heavy handed for my tastes, and it was rambling.
Mod Squad : The one with Claire Danes or Gweneth Paltrow or some other really skinny blonde. I walked out of this one.
Nutty Professor 2 : Oh my this one was especially bad. I wanted to walk out but I had a thing for Janet Jackson.
Requiem for a Dream : See my entry for Natural Born Killers. Yeah yeah, drugs are bad.
The Big Hit : Doesnt get any worse than this, folks. I don’t say this often, but it is worse then Hitler.
If you were tied up ala “Clockwork Orange” and forced to watch every movie in this thread, nonstop, without food, water, or bathroom breaks, and, then, they showed you a video of your favorite animal being brutalized by a pirate in a clown suit and a alien which is in reality a small person wrapped in green Saran Wrap, THEN you were slowly flayed alive over a period of two weeks. Then, and only then, can you understand the pain that is Santa Sangre.
I’ve never walked out of a movie, but here are the three that almost chased me out of the theatre:
-
Batman and Robin: I got free passes to see this and thought, "Hey, it’s a Batman movie and it features Uma Thurman, Alicia Siverstone, Elle MacPherson, and Vendela. How much damage can George Clooney do? Suffice to say, I felt ripped off when I left the building.
-
Alien 3: Paid 1.25 at the cheap theatre for this stinker. Thought the "running with scissors" joke near the end was worth .75. Still felt like I lost money on the deal.
-
Fellini Satyricon: Forced to endure this movie for a fluff class in university. Painfully stupid, pointless, plotless, ugly, and dull. In my world Fellini is not a genius, he’s one of those jokes the artistic intelligentsia have inflicted on us, where they all claim he’s brilliant, even though he’s not, then snigger at the rest of us when we try to endure/comprehend the crap we just saw.
Incidentally, I own Plan 9 From Outer Space. Delightfully bad. I think it’s hilarious.
I just read this whole thread (yeah, I need to get a life; tell me about it) to see if anyone had mentioned the absolutely wretched Rabbit Test, starring Billy Crystal as a man who gets pregnant by being raped (by a woman) on a pinball machine.
Even the knowledge that this movie was directed by Joan Rivers will not prepare you for how bad it is. One gag features a cameo of Rivers as a nurse running through a hospital with what appears to be a calf’s liver in a metal bowl while shouting “Hot colon coming through! Hot colon coming through!” Pretty hilarious.
Bad dramas can at least be laughed at. A bad comedy can only torture.
Oh, yeah, and at the end this sort of ham-handed faux-Christian imagery (a Bethlehem Steel sign is prominently featured) seems to somehow indicate that Billy’s newborn child (delivered through what orifice exactly?) is the Messiah. Or something. I’m not the sort to be offended in a religious sense, but this is just plain stupid-- not that the rest of the movie isn’t equally dumb.
I refuse to dignify the above revelation with the status of “spoiler”-- in this case, there’s nothing to spoil.
(P. S.: I actually liked Tarkovsky’s **Stalker[/]-- though I should confess I was in film school when I saw it.)
Despite being about as anti-Book-of-Revelation as they come, I not only made a point of renting Left Behind: The Movie on DVD (it was out on video before being released to the theaters, for some reason), I now own a previously-viewed DVD copy of … get this … Left Behind II: Tribulation Force.
(Hey, Blockbuster was having a buy-2-get-1-free sale on reviously-viewed DVDs! How could I resist?)
In all fairness to George Clooney, the only damage done to that movie was perpetrated by Joel Schumacher and Akiva Goldsman.
It’s not the three-for-two sale that concerns me, Tracer, it’s that somebody had previously viewed that DVD.
By the way - is it just me, or has somebody really made three sequels to a movie about the end of the world?
I hated hated hated hated absolutely hated The Faculty. I think it’s probably the worst film I’ve ever seen although Bambi is pretty appalling as well imo. I mean, really, the storyline is pathetic
I’m certainly not going to win any friends here by admitting this, but what the heck. I absolutely loathed Office Space. Just the thought of that movie makes my skin crawl. And **Pay It Forward[/] is a movie I’m embarrassed to say I paid to see.
OK. Bad movies. Really, Really bad movies. I know that some of these have already been said.
6th Day - not only was it a not particularly good movie, but the main character seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of killing the bad guys. Even doing a “Yes!” after running over a guy with his car. I figure that somebody said “It’s OK because they’re clones” but it’s NOT OK, and the character had no idea that they were clones at that point, anyway. Put me off the whole movie.
Rollerball - What the heck is this? I knew that the best friend was going to get killed or at least maimed, that was fine. Of course he was. But what in the world is with that ending? And what kind of schmuck can drive around in cars like that in a country like that and never even think about it? And what the hell is with the all-of-a-sudden revoloution thing? What, did they run out of progression paste, or did their twelve-year-old son take the damn money and start writing the script? And again with the killing with joy thing.
Enough - So… a lawyer tells you that you should have gone to the cops when your husband smacked you around, and that it’s more difficult now because you didn’t. So, instead of even once talking to the police or a shelter or a woman’s group about it, you deliberately train for and then succeed in battering him to death, while making it look like he was hitting you. Sickening.
Ghost World - All of my friends said “You haven’t seen it? You need to watch it! You’ll love it! It’s a great movie!” I have since wondered if I need friends that would think I would like this movie. One whiny self-centered bitchy teen that messes up her life through inaction. And not only her own life, but the lives of her family and friends, making them suffer because of her avoidance of everything. Then, when she has fully and completely messed up the lives of these other people in ways that will be very slow-mending, if at all, she takes a bus. Yep, that’s it. “Well, sorry that I messed everything up, I don’t want to deal with it so I’ll just leave.”
Brotherhood of the Wolf - Cut two hours out and you might have a watchable movie. I’m not usually one for saying that a movie was too long…but this movie was way too long.
Queen of the Damned - I was pretty sure that the advertising had a quick shot of a cute asian guy in it. Yeah, probably not a speaking role, but he was really cute. That’s all that kept my wife and I watching. Maybe it was a different movie that came out at the same time that we were thinking of. Certainly wasn’t this one.
Ghosts of Mars - I really wanted to like this movie. Really. It started out OK. But…what? What has that got to do with metal? With anything, really? I really, really wish that I had forgotten that I wanted to see this and had never rented it.
Event Horizon - My wife and I went to the see this with friends. I got to pick the movie, and the ads all had this as a sci-fi figure-things-out movie. The gore was terrible and pointless. They said that I was never allowed to pick a movie again, and didn’t believe me about the ads (our friends didn’t watch TV).
Now, defense for The House of Yes: it helps with a lot of things when you know that it was a play that was made into a movie. Also, they tacked on the end. The play ends with turning out the lights and then a single gunshot, allowing you to make up your own mind what happened. I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, but if I hadn’t known this, I probably would have been going “what the hell?”
I have seen more than sixty of the films mentioned on this thread. I believe that some crappy movies can be enjoyable mindless fodder (Tomb Raider, Practical Magic), but I also love what some would characterize as “difficult” movies (e.g. I own Dancer in the Dark).
I’ve never walked out of a movie theater (not even for Happiness), which means I sat through the entirity of Prometheseus.
Beginning with the laid-off miners being melted and forged into a massive golden statue of Prometheus and the dozen women at a fish processing plant transformed into a silver Chorus (store mannequins with their faces frozen into open-mouthed contortions of screaming/singing)…I sat through it all. The statue of Prometheus travels through the north of England, Dresden, Auschwitz, Romania and finally to Greece. All the while, the Chorus floats nearby on a barge, accompanied by their singing (AAAaaaaah!) and the flapping of their blue pom-pom-like wigs.
Interspersed with all this, a cinema burns down and a woman is slaughtered like a cattle. Did I mention that the bulk of this is in RHYMING VERSE?
Nothing I have seen has rivalled this movie. (Yes, Hamlet, I will shortly be renting Santa Sangre for comparison’s sake.) Maybe it’s because I had some expectations of Prometheus being good or at the very least interesting (unlike, say, Armageddon, which I only expected to be an excuse to eat some popcorn). But instead of good or interesting, I got three hours of mind-numbing symbolism using store mannequins. AAAaaaaah!
OH DEAR GOD. . . . .
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
::clutching wildly at moi’s pants legs::
Please no. Don’t go. I didn’t mean for it to make people watch it … Please… For the love of all that is holy…
I guess you would call this a hijack, but
how our dear Hamlet feels about Santa Sangre is exactly how I feel about the “His Dark Materials” books.
Im sorry but Im going to have to “flame” you for a few of these things, especially dancer in the dark!!! Brilliant brilliant movie! Actually, Im curious to see other peoples opinion on this, I think I’ll go and start a thread on that. Baz Luhrman, quite possibly the best director (excluding maybe the director of Donnie Darko) of our time, and Goonies - did you have no childhood?
I’m giving my votes to:
Evolution, Bounce and Joyride for recently terrible movies.
Biggest detroyer of a book: The beach and American Pyscho
Hamlet, do you have any idea what you’ve done? Now I may have to sit through Santa Sangre. The HORROR!
Can it really be worse than Dancer in the Dark. 