What are the worst songs?

What is the worst music you’ve ever heard?

I’m trying to put together a playlist of truly awful music, so please help me by adding your nominations!

Just a few rules: it must have been commercially released and it can’t be intentionally bad, so no deliberately dire parodies. They’re just not as much fun.

I’m going to kick off with Dee Dee King (aka Dee Dee Ramone)
German Kid

(spoilered as unsuitable for listening to anywhere)

Horst Wessel Lied

I like 80’s and early 90’s heavy metal but some of the current subgenres of really hard core metal are completely unlistenable to me and lots of others. It will be hard to give specific examples because I can’t understand the ‘songs’ well enough to look anything up about them even if I was willing to listen to them again. Maybe someone else is brave enough to give a really egregious example.

Some opera is almost as bad. I like most everything else to some degree.

Ohio Express-“Yummy Yummy Yummy”

Do they have to be songs and artists that are at least somewhat well-known? I ask this because there is a lot of obscure but commercially released crappy stuff that thankfully remains unheard and thus unknown by the vast majority of the populace.

Something specific (or a link, for preference) would be great- it’s basically for a club that I go to, the music that’s been played lately has been frankly bizarre, so I want to take it up a level in awful.

Most people have a pretty broad sense of humour there, but I don’t know all of them that well and two are German emigrants, I’m not sure if I should risk the nazi stuff… :smiley:

Edited to add: awful stuff by well known people is best for comedy value, but anything that you listen to and thinl ‘How did THAT get released?’ is still great.

The invaluable Dave Barry says the worst song of all time is MacArthur Park. I see no reason to disagree.

There is surprising unanimity on who the worst singer of all time is, at least in recorded history - it is none other than Florence Foster Jenkins. She is gone, but her memory lingers, despite my best efforts.


Ok, that is a little different than just plain bad. For bad club music, how about a hit from this group.

I like Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road but it may fit too.

Meri Wilson graced us with The Telephone Man back in 1977.

Feast your ears. :slight_smile:

And her sequel-The Internet Man

It’s Magic?

Oh no, it’s not a dance club- it’s a juggling group, but we tend to have some background music on, as it’s a bit of an echoey hall otherwise. Any kind of bad is fine.

There’s been some brilliant suggestions so far, but now my ears hate me :frowning:

That would be “Don’t Worry, Kyoko (Mummy’s Only Looking For Her Hand in the Snow)” by Yoko Ono. My theory about this song is that it depicts a recurring nightmare of Yoko’s… if I’m right, it’s extremely successful.

Without question, Playground In My Mind - Clint Holmes (1972)

For non- Top 40, anything by The Shaggs

When’s the last time we had a vote-off poll here? Seems like a natural here: solicit nominations (x2), put them up for a vote, last one left is the Worst of All Time.

The first time I heard this song was on an episode of Monty Python(how Not to be Seen.)

I was sure they made it up for the show at the time.

“Spirit in the Sky” by Doctor and the Medics

It was the fuzztone / guitar distortion that was the selling point of the original, without that you end up with a pretty lousy song

About 95% of mainstream pop/country could fit this category. :wink:
Case in point: Toby Keith-Red Solo Cup.

The amazing thing is that she wasn’t “intentionally” bad; she honestly thought she had a beautiful operatic voice.

If you want untalented, unashamed, unironic, unremitting BAD, you have to go with The Shaggs.