The combination of selfishness and a refusal to be direct and honest on this thread is disturbing. You don’t have to be “busy” to decline an invitation. A simple “no thank you” is sufficient, and if you wish to clarify that it is the activity you are declining, feel free to provide more information, in order to discourage similar invitations.
“No thanks, that’s my day off, so I’m going to spend it relaxing.”
“No thanks, baby showers aren’t really my thing.”
“No thanks, I don’t like those kinds of parties.”
“No thanks, I know you helped me move MY piano, but that’s different.”
“No thanks, I’m a selfish lazy a-hole who sees nothing to my advantage in accepting your invitation.”
etc.
Someone asking you if you are free is a perfectly normal segue to a normal social invitation, not automatically a trick to force you to do something you don’t want to.
You agreed to do this task 52 weeks a year pal, not 51. I don’t care if it IS your granddaughter’s first dance recital, you’re not getting out of this so easily. I won’t be played for a fool, now get busy washing my cup, I’ve a lunch date to make!
How did you get that out of this?
It seems to me that the people on duty had made another commitment, and were counting on finding someone to take over their chore. **Aargh **didn’t say that he and/or Mrs. Aargh never did coffee duty, he only said that he wasn’t expecting to be put on the spot like that. What’s more, the person on coffee duty didn’t ask him to do it, she more or less ordered him to do it, without his agreement. She took his consent for granted. If she had somewhere to be at noon, then she should have asked someone to cover the coffee duty earlier…not wait until about an hour before the cleanup was to occur. It was HER emergency, not his.
It was HER emergency and she was solving it by getting a fellow church member to help out.
The guy was already free after church, as he admitted, so what’s the big deal about being asked to wash some coffee urns? If the task is so onerous, he could just ask yet another church member to help him.
“Hey, are you free after church? Marcy can’t cover coffee clean-up today and I could use a hand. Afterwards, let’s get some lunch.”
And that’s another reason (besides not believing in god) I don’t go to church!! Amen!
Some of us don’t impose on others, kayaker.
And you’re the ones I’d invite over for coffee after whatever it is y’all do Sunday a.m.
My Sunday mornings are for grass cutting.
She didn’t ask, though. She just told him, without waiting for him to agree or refuse. And while he might not have had time specific plans, maybe he just wanted to relax and NOT do any chores.
If she had waited for his answer, that would be one thing. But she didn’t.
My ex started conversations like this all the time: with open-ended questions.
You know what we should do tomorrow?
Are we busy this weekend?
Are you golfing on Tuesday?
Can you do me a favour?
On, and on, and on, and on… Drove me nuts. Just fucking come out and ask the goddamned question.
Did we read the same thing? She started the question with “would you be willing” and it ended with a question mark. That’s what a question sounds and looks like.
Where’s the part where she then fled the scene?
And if he didn’t agree, then I guess he’s not on the hook, and can just leave the coffee urns for someone else to clean up, no more obligated to clean them than any of the other coffee drinkers.
It sounds like they should just quit having coffee since no one should have to go through the agony of washing up. They can all just sit with their fingers in their ears while someone yammers on about helping your fellow man or whatever they lecture about at church, check “go to church” off their list of chores, and carry on with their important living. Jesus, Buddah, Allah, the elephant-headed six-armed guy, and even Satan all agree about one thing, and that’s that you and your comfort and pleasure should definitely be top priority to you. If you don’t look out for #1, why should god look out for you, as they say.
Moderator note
I think the church coffee urn crisis has gone on long enough. Let’s drop the hijack and get back on track with the main issue.