Okay, this is a good one.
While you are talking to someone, are you aware of what you are doing? Are you looking at the person you’re talking to, gazing around, are your eyes closed r open?
What’s your posture? Leaning forward or back, or sitting up straight?
Have you read about body language and are trying to present a positive image based on what you read? I tried to, but kept forgetting.
Whan I talk to someone, I pay attention to them. But I have no idea how I act or present myself. I just realized this today. I was talking to my friend John and I again noticed how animated he is. Then I got to wondering if I show my enthusiasm. I know I often visualize what I’m saying. If I’m describing a favorite food, my mouth will sometimes (often) water. But at the end of the conversation I rarely recall anything about my physical attitude.
How about you? Are you aware of your actions while you engage in conversation?
Peace,
mangeorge
I kinda suck at conversations, body-language-wise. At work, odds are I’ll continue working on my computer as I talk to someone, whether they’re at my desk or on the phone. People will politely wait and wait for me to look up, but I don’t. I usually have to ask them what they want.
If I’m sitting, I usually sit forward on my chair a bit. I’ve started noticing lately that I don’t make eye contact as often as I should. If it’s someone I’m comfortable with, I look them in the eye, but if I’m at all nervous I look away. Today, I realized I was addressing someone without actually looking at them at all, even when I initiated the conversation. If I tried to glance their way, I just felt really uncomfortable. I usually stare at someone’s eyebrows or hair if I can’t look them in the eye.
For me, it varies widely depending on the type of conversation.
If the conversation is mostly small talk, or if it concerns what I’m working on/doing at the time, I usually continue with whatever else I was doing in parallel–typing, reading something, soldering, whatever.
When I have been asked a difficult or complicated question (usually technical), I begin to act in a manner that I’m sure looks very odd. I look off into space, usually to the right of the person I’m talking to, and sometimes start sketching things in the air.
If the conversation is important, but non-technical, I pay attention to my body language. That may mean leaning back to indicate disinterest or confidence, leaning forward to seem earnest, holding eye contact longer than normal when making a point…any number of things.
In casual conversation, I tend to lean back slightly, lace my fingers together, raise both eyebrows slightly, and not hold eye contact for extended periods. It doesn’t matter to people who know me pretty well, but people unfamiliar with my teddy-bear self sometimes find me intimidating, and these things make me seem less so. Also, raising both eyebrows gets rid of the otherwise permanent “one eyebrow lifted” look imparted by the scar over one eye–it’s been known to confuse people.
There’s also a whole litany of things I do when addressing a group of people about something important.
What am I doing when I talk? Usually masturbating…
…oh…there I go again…
When I talk to someone, I am staring at that person’s boobs. If the person I am talking to doesn’t have boobs, I am wondering why I am talking to that person instead of someone who has boobs to stare at.
SSG Schwartz
I have the nasty tendency to completely space out when people are talking to me. Usually it’s to worry about something. I’m aware that I appear engaged in the conversation, nods and ‘‘uh-huhs’’ at appropriate times, but I do find that I’m often thinking about something that was said 30 seconds ago, letting that statement lead me off into a mental tangent, which inevitably becomes some sort of day-dream…
Recent example:
husband is talking about Empirically Based Treatments
Me: increasing silence + confused look on my face
''Um… Wife? You just completely spaced out, didn’t you?
Me: ashamed ‘‘I’m sorry. I was just envisioning what it would be like if we got in a car crash and I had to watch you die.’’ wipe away tear
Husband: :rolleyes:
Sadly, it’s all too typical for me.
Have you met post #5?
I always look at the person’s face. Having hearing aids, it helps me hear them better when I can read their lips.
On the phone, I pace. I’m constantly pacing. Even if it’s just in a circle, I have to walk while I talk.
It really depends on the person, the conversation, and the situation. I generally look the person in the eyes, but I try not to burn holes through the back of their skull. I smile, but not incessantly. I try to lean back a little. If I’m feeling sharp, I’ll throw a really weird comment that will get them to laugh, but only if I think it’s appropriate.
With some people I’ll sway a little bit, as if to say “nice talking to you, I’m leaving now”, and hope they get the hint.