[QUOTE=matt_mcl]
I think we can be sure that very few gentleman your average waiter will be dealing with would have the nerve to assert that “Madam will not have anything to drink” if Madam had not instructed him to do so.
[/QUOTE]
I’ve served many people who who easily come into the category ‘fucking bastards’. Most of them men, and most of them still happily married.
*someone delivers food…
2 seconds later waitress comes by…*
“How is everything??”
“I don’t know, you just saw the guy put it on the table!”
[QUOTE=Flander]
*someone delivers food…
2 seconds later waitress comes by…*
“How is everything??”
“I don’t know, you just saw the guy put it on the table!”
[/QUOTE]
JAYYYSUS I’m with you on this one!!!
[QUOTE=Flander]
*someone delivers food…
2 seconds later waitress comes by…*
“How is everything??”
“I don’t know, you just saw the guy put it on the table!”
[/QUOTE]
That’s why the word is “everything” instead of “the food”.
Since your food just arrived, perhaps you could report that your clothes are unspilled upon to your satisfaction. Or that the ambient baby screams are sufficiently distant.
As someone who works in a restaurant, I feel obliged to chip in here.
As far as ingredients of the food is concerned, you can always, gasp ask! Ask the server if there is cheese in XYZ salad, or if you don’t want to bother to wait for her/him to go back to the kitchen to ask, then just say "no cheese/onions/bacon. (though if they do this, they are either new, the menu item is new, or they’re a bad server. Servers should know what goes into the food.)
And Litoris, I’m surprised that there are places that don’t have smaller steaks than 10 oz (I beleive you, it’s jsut surprising.) I work in a steakhouse, and we have a 7 oz. filet and an 8 oz. sirloin as our two smallest steaks on the normal menu. The kid’s sirloin (which is also the sirloin we use for steak salads,) is 6 oz, IIRC (and it’s a “cap” sirloin, as oppossed to a “top” sirloin, so it’s a bit lower quality.)
Of course, by contrast, our two largest steaks are a 18 oz. bone-in rib-eye, and a 22 oz. porterhouse (though that probably works out to no more than 14 and 18 oz after you factor out the weight of the bone.)
I just wish all restaurants would post the nutritional info for the dishes. Somehow I think the Alfredo sauce from Macaroni Grill has different properties than the stuff I make at home.
I LOVE steak sandwiches. Love them, love them, love them. No reheating necessary, and even if I do share a bit of steak with my super spoiled Siamese, I generally get one big meal and two sandwiches from a restaurant steak. It would be nice, though, if I could just get a 3 or 4 ounce steak in the first place…
[QUOTE=monstro]
I hope you don’t think I’m being too personal, but can I ask why? I can’t imagine eating a meal and not having something to drink, if only just in case of a emergency (like tongue-burning cheese). Glasses of water are free. It just seems to strange to me to be bothered about something that’s free and potentially helpful.
[/QUOTE]
Didn’t you see Litoris’s contribution in the “Hey Dopers! Post a pic of yourself” thread?
Can’t be too careful, ya know…
ETA And for therecord, no, I didn’t read Sierra Indigo’s post before I made this one…
[QUOTE=Flander]
*someone delivers food…
2 seconds later waitress comes by…*
“How is everything??”
“I don’t know, you just saw the guy put it on the table!”
[/QUOTE]
As a former waitress in an insanely busy restaurant, you do not always know that the guy just put it on your table. You’re too hurried sending up orders and taking care of others to realize that someone else’s order just came up. We ask to show we are involved and wish to resolve any problems, not to simply give mouth noises towards service. At least, that’s how it’s been for the folks I’ve (mainly) worked with. We try to help, you know?
[QUOTE=Litoris]
When my husband says “and my wife will have nothing to drink” when placing our drink orders, what he means is nothing. Oddly enough, he is my husband, he lives with me, he knows my habits. Do not turn to me and ask what I would like to drink. Do not say “what about a glass of water?” I don’t drink at the same time as I eat, I owe you no explanation and you do not have to ask me 4 times if I am sure. Funny enough, I am quite sure.
[/QUOTE]
I don’t get this. I mean, I get the not drinking thing, and I get the whole “I said no three times, there’s no need to ask again” thing. But the part where the server actually consults YOU about what YOU want? I’m good with that part.
I love a steak that’s black and blue (aka Pittsburgh style). Dear server, I know you do not have a degree in culinary science and have been a server a whopping 37 minutes total, but ASK if you do not know what I mean. Ask me or a cook, but don’t assume you know what it means, as you invariably assume it means cooked three stages passed inedible shoe leather.
Disclaimer: former waiter.
[QUOTE=Litoris]
When my husband says “and my wife will have nothing to drink” when placing our drink orders, what he means is nothing. Oddly enough, he is my husband, he lives with me, he knows my habits. Do not turn to me and ask what I would like to drink. Do not say “what about a glass of water?” I don’t drink at the same time as I eat, I owe you no explanation and you do not have to ask me 4 times if I am sure. Funny enough, I am quite sure.
[/QUOTE]
It happened to me quite frequently that I would ask whether the customers would like anything to drink and be told “no, nothing.” I learned quickly, via follow-up questions that “no” for most of them meant “no, just the water that we expect to be brought,” and not “no, I want absolutely no beverage on my table.” (Which even you must admit is a bit outside the norm, so I’d hope you could come to some happy, non-tension-producing way of communicating that you wish nothing at all, like "no drink for my wife, not even water, please.)
[QUOTE=Litoris]
The appetizer thing is a deal-breaker – if I get my appetizer at the same time as my food, it’s going back and I am not paying for it. This will be followed by a lecture to the server and the management about the concept of appetizer.
[/QUOTE]
Restaurants where I’ve worked have tried hard to avoid this, and I find it annoying when it happens to me. (Asian restaurants in particular, for some reason, seem to have a very loose approach to the pre-meal appetizer concept, so I’ve had a few appetizers arrive after the main meal was presented.) I will not that if there’s one thing servers love, though, it’s being lectured on dining concepts by irate customers, so definitely keep spreading that sunshine around!
[QUOTE=Litoris]
Ok, this is just a minor pet peeve, but seriously, why the fuck can’t I order off the children’s menu? I am not doing this because I want to save money – if I wanted to save money, I’d cook for myself! I do it because I cannot eat a 10 oz steak, baked potato and steamed broccoli (which is the smallest portion I can get on the adult menu that isn’t deep-fried) and microwave reheated steak is nasty, rubbery shite. I don’t really want to pay $15 for my barn cats to eat steak, mmmk? Fuck, I’d pay the $15 for the kids’ portion if you’d let me!
[/QUOTE]
Just a guess on my part, but I’ve always thought the “kids portions” on menus were essentially underpriced “loss leaders” designed to help restaurants get their families in there and be able to feed the kids (or let them toss food around the table and onto the floor) without too much extra. Which doesn’t explain why they wouldn’t allow you to pay $15 for a kiddie burger, though, or actually why, if you’ve apparently no qualms about wasting money, why you aren’t happy just ordering a normal portion, eating your fill, and leaving the rest on your plate.
[Quote=Litoris]
Ok, when my husband says “no pickles anywhere near the plate even as a garnish” Oddly, that’s what he means, and he may – he has before – throw the pickle at you in revulsion if you bring it to the table.
[/Quote]
Getting your order wrong is no fun, but I’m really glad this never happened to me or someone(s) would be going to the hospital that night. It’s a pickle, not a radioactive rat turd; get the fuck over it. Your husband needs to grow the hell up or you’re in for a long lifetime of restaurant-based hypertension.
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
Getting your order wrong is no fun, but I’m really glad this never happened to me or someone(s) would be going to the hospital that night. It’s a pickle, not a radioactive rat turd; get the fuck over it. Your husband needs to grow the hell up or you’re in for a long lifetime of restaurant-based hypertension.
[/QUOTE]
Thank you. I can’t imagine the mentality of a person who would do such a thing. Does he throw his feces at visitors when they stay too long?
Talk about taking your food a little too seriously. I get that you’re paying for a meal and the service that goes with a meal, but that doesn’t give you the right to be an unstable asshole. It’s one meal in your life, take it easy.
A number of restaurants in my area have started cooking with wine without listing it on the menu. This is a problem.
I don’t mind being checked in with once or twice during a meal. However, when I’m having a conversation and the waiter bursts in with “How are we DOIN’?!” over and over, I get annoyed.
It’s been many years since I’ve waited tables, but…
While a husband ordering for his wife is a tad unusual, I wouldn’t necessarily think much of it, depending upon the age of the couple. But when the husband makes a request that you surely know is well outside the norm, such as “My wife will have NOTHING to drink,” you can bet your ass I would ask you to make sure this is the case. Why on earth would you be offended at that?
Furthermore, if your husband is not actually allergic to pickles, faking an allergic reaction simply because he doesn’t want them on his plate is infantile and obnoxious in the extreme. Anyway, it’s entirely possible the waiter put the order in correctly, the kitchen made a mistake, and the person bringing your food has no idea there aren’t supposed to be any pickles. Being rude and abusive to restaurant workers is hardly ever warranted.
[QUOTE=Tenar]
Waitrons who ask me if I want my change back tend to get MUCH smaller tips than ones who at least PRETEND that they think my money is my own, not theirs.
[/QUOTE]
I’m with you with this one 
Re: the OP - I won’t say anything about 2, 3 or 4 but as for #1… the hostesses usually follow a table rotation for seating since different servers have different sections and they try to keep the customers fairly distributed. So it’s quite likely they weren’t thinking about or even paying attention to the fact that you had a book in your hand, and certainly not making mental connections from there to set you up with the best possible lighting for your reading experience. Really very few people actually read in a restaurant while they are eating their meals anyway. You could have just been holding the book because you had nowhere else to put it.
Sorry, but you could have very easily asked for a different table when they were seating you and I am quite sure they would have said “no problem!” and accomodated you. Not everyone is your mom. That was your fault.
[QUOTE=tdn]
I’ll start you off with four. Three of them happened to me tonight.
I ask for a table with good lighting “so I can read”. Try it. 
Here’s what I do “Check please?” And I hand them my CC right there.
Pet peeves of mine:
Mandatory Service charges.
Butter that is frozen solid.
And poor service because I am sitting alone.
The only thing that ever really bothers me is the whole “completely disappear after the food is served without leaving the check” routine. It happened tonight, and I finally got up and went looking for the guy because we needed to be somewhere. He acted like I was crazy for getting up - “no, no, you pay the check at your table.” YEAH, IF YOU BRING IT.
You guys in the US get free water with your meals as a standard? You don’t know how lucky you are! In the Netherlands, most restaurants have a policy of flatly stating they don’t HAVE tap-water :rolleyes: ; if you want water with your order, even if you did order wine or soda with your meal, they will bring you a miniature bottle of bottled pretentious mineral water. For which they will charge you at least three dollars per bottle.