Let’s see. Let me count the ways.
Six of us for dinner. The waiter showed up and started taking orders pretty much randomly, not going around the table in any sort of logical order. He started with me. My order started with “To drink, I’ll have…” Nope, he never did the pre-order drinks. Just “What can I get for you?” In fact, he only ended up asking half of us if we wanted anything to drink. As it turned out, only two of us did. I got mine just fine. The other person asked for a Coke. Did she get it? Nope, but a ginger ale was delivered to a completely different guest (or is that quest?) who didn’t order a drink at all. It took a good long while to get it sorted out.
He was also really haphazard in who he asked wanted rice.
Another quest, er, guest, was suffering from the sniffles, and asked the waiter for some paper napkins. Three times. It took about 30 minutes for that to happen.
A good while later, my food arrived. OK, it wasn’t actually my food. I think it belonged to a different table. I guess it was just a preview. “Here’s what you should have ordered.” On retrospect, I should have taken it. I was so hungry at that point I would have eaten anything.
A little while later, I actually got what I asked for. I think. Two of us ordered something different, but similar. Fish for both of us. We had to ask which dish he was setting in front of me. He didn’t know. He had to go back to the kitchen to ask exactly what it was he was serving.
In fact there was confusion about where all five dishes were to go. For instance, one guest ordered drunken noodles. I can’t quite remember what the waiter called it, but I think it came out “goat horn banana swamp.”
Yes, I said five dishes. Six quests, er, guests. One guy went unserved. It took a good long while to even find the waiter to let him know there was a problem. Most of us were finished eating before this guy even got his meal.
We asked for two separate checks. Guess what we got?
There was much more that I can’t even remember. It was a flurry of incompetence. It was rather impressive I must say.
The waiter has a promising future in filing. Except I doubt his ability to alphabetize.