What are your favorite songs by fake bands?

I’ll start with three:

Pop Goes My Heart! by POP! from Music & Lyrics. If this song had actually been released in the 80s with exactly that video, it would have gone pop on the charts. Damn it’s impossible to get it out of your heart (and that video- omg- the “let’s go…” head jerk, the stop-action “heart attack”, the snap/change of dress, all of it- just perfect- and the guy playing Colin is somewhere to the north of gorgeous).

Tonight is What it Means to be Young by Fire Inc. from Streets of Fire: I love this song. Always reminds me of the vampire Lestat somehow, but the lyric “he’s dancing like a cat on the stairs” is just one of those that grabs me.

Double Back Alley by The Rutles (poor AV quality unfortunately). A song the Beatles never wrote, but should have.


That’s a good song, but “Nowhere Fast,” also by Fire Inc. from the same movie, is one of my all-time favorite songs. It’s so melodramatic! Jim Steinman, best known for his work with Meat Loaf and Bonnie Tyler (and the ill-fated *Dance of the Vampire * musical) wrote both of them. I’ve never actually seen Streets of Fire, though – none of my local Blockbusters have it, and the online service always has it as a “short wait.”

Technically, Fire Inc. was the name of the group of studio musicians that recorded both songs, but the band in the movie was called Ellen Aim and the Attackers – Diane Lane played Ellen Aim and lip-synched both songs.

Neither have I, actually, and whenever it’s moved to the top of my Netflix queue it’s the “wait” thing again and ends up getting moved down. I might move it back up just to check it. I’ve heard the movie’s not nearly as good as the movie. (There’s a doo-wop -ish number by a group whose leader is played by Robert Townsend [I think his role in that inspired *The Five Heartbeats*, which I’ve also never seen] that I also like.)

Oh, I also really liked “Guilty as Charged,” the “Ring of Fire” homage (and a completely awesome song in its own right) from Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Obviously John C. Reilly’s Cox character is based on Johnny Cash, but there’s more than a little Elvis Presley and Jim Morrison in this particular song.

Almost everythingby the rutles. Really good stuff, even the ones that are especially blatant, are great songs.

Spinal Tap’s “Big Bottom”.


This one

‘Lick My Love Pump’(spoilered for the three living humans who are not familiar with Spinal Tap - watch the video first)

Big bottom, big bottom,
Talk about mudflaps,
My girl’s got 'em
Big bottom
drive me outta my mind
How could I leave this behind?

~Spinal Tap.

Quite a few by The Monkees!

And the Partridge Family, the Archies, Otis Day and the Knights…

Find them here:

“That Thing You Do” by the One-ders, from the film That Thing You Do.

WARNING: Spoiler for the game Portal

“Still Alive”, sung by GLaDOS, the murderous, passive-aggressive AI at the end of the game Portal after you’ve defeated her.

On a similar note, I myself am partial to “Let’s Go to the Mall” by Canadian pop sensation Robin Sparkles.

Curses on those of you who beat me to mentioning the Rock Gods that are Spinal Tap. Hmph.
Didja know, they actually played that stuff themselves? (They had musical hobbies)
OR, that they actually went on tour, in answer to popular demand? (A friend told me that Nigel St. Hubbins demonstrated the novel technique of throwing horseshoes at his guitar)

Welcome 2 Hell—by Scäb (As seen on Home Movies)

What can I say…I’m a sucker for sentiment and a good melody.

Lyrically unsurpassable.

Big Bottom just edges out Sex Farm in the pantheon of Tap oeuvres with vivid yet subtle sexual imagery.


Piggy in the Middle by the Rutles. Not only a great song, but a great parody.

I’ve bought both that and “Dance With Me Tonight” on iTunes.

Does “Midnight Radio” by Hedwig & the Angry Inch count?

Berserker. Not a fake band, per se, more of a solo artist.

And sadly, I can’t find this on Youtube, but “Touch Me, I’m Dick” by Citizen Dick is pretty priceless, especially considering the band is Matt Dillon backed by the members of Pearl Jam.

The stuff I’ve heard on Metapocalypse is pretty funny but no one beats the mighty Tap!