I buy into that too. You know how when you have a near miss accident and it feels like all the blood’s left your body and you get that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. I have this completely superstitious belief that you feel so weird because that’s where your life branched off in a significant way.
I believe that some people are just ‘lucky’, and that sometimes, luck is not on your side. Also, I believe that you can use up your luck - that’s why it’s important to quit while you’re ahead - your luck reserves have been depleted and you need to let them build up again.
Secretly, I believe nothing bad will actually ever happen to me, or anyone I know, because I’m the only real person in the world. Everyone else is just made up. this also explains why I live in New Zealand, and not America: New zealand is a quiet, real place, America is some made-up crazy land where anything can happen.
That is partially correct. It is in fact, the amount of stress and tension in the user that influences malfunctions, not only anger.
For instance, having only thirty seconds to print out that tremendously important report creates a sympathetic stress build up in the printer/computer, making it more likely that a failure will happen. Of course the subsequent anger and increased stress only adds to the problem.
I can fly.
I don’t care to substantiate that theory at this time.
One I just remembered today: a certain amount of global warming is due to the rise in the use of indoor clothes dryers over the last 50 or so years. All that excess heat being vented outside - why else is it so freaking hot?
I have a couple of theories, the first taken in large part from the movie Before Sunrise:
a) There are only a limited number of souls, and as the population increases, each new person born has a little less than the generation before - which explains why we are all less satisfied, less happy and constantly searching for serenity - there’s just not enough soul to go around.
b) If you moved the UK, the southern coastline would match up exactly with the NW coast of France.
c) We are all a combination of energy forms (kinetic, heat, sound etc) - when we die, all this energy is released into the air as potential energy, which then recirculates around - so the energy of a loved one is still around us, and forms part of us as we take in food, light etc. Not exactly reincarnation, but close.
d) Cat people can only live happily with cat people, and dog people with dog people.
e) When you meet ‘the one’, you just know. (OK, perhaps that one’s also heavily influenced by Before Sunrise…I think I need to stop watching that movie!!)
Oh, forgot to add:
f) If you ask the parking gods very nicely, you will always get a park, no matter how crowded.
g) One day planes WILL get too big to fly - I was placing my hopes on the new Airbus, but they managed to sneak that one through - but just try it a little bigger and see how far you get…
Similar to the Parking Gods if you ask the Goddesses of Garage Sale-resale-thrift stores to help you find a specific item…not only will you find it, in primo shape, but it will be way below what you - you cheapskate - were prepared to pay for it.
This has happened to me so many times, I swear.
I used to believe I was the only real person in the world, like manx suggested.
I also have thought that for every character in a computer game, some poor soul has to live their life up to that point, growing up, going to Space Cadet school or whatever, then going on the journey that brings them to where you take over. And walk through the first room and get shot dead by the first bad guy. You click “New Game”, they have to live their life up to that point again. I think The Onion did an article that related to this.
I also irrationally believe that in the long run, everything will be ok. I will be successful and comfortably well off, and do all of those things that I want to. Just be patient, and the way will become apparent to me. I hope.
Well, that’s not a crack=pot theory, it’s an axiom of my life.
An I blame my father. I would have never had a need for it if he hadn’t got me hooked on the stuff at an early age.
This is a GREAT thread!
My beliefs:
[ol]
[li]Parking Karma: If, during the day, you allow someone to cut into traffic, or let them make a difficult left-turn, your chances of getting a parking spot are greatly enhanced.[/li][li]The zit-thing. I am ashamed to say I’ve even thought of this, but I believe that one day, I’ll pop a pimple, and there will be only a small, white string. When I pull on it, it will (spaghetti-like) drain ALL remaining pus from beneath my facial skin.[/li][li]I believe that telepathy is going to be one of those “a-ha” cognitive flashes. It will turn out that everyone can do it, as long as they get proper levels of some previously-derided vitamin[/li][li]The President is essentially interchangeable. They may (in collusion with the party) pick the Cabinet, but after that point, the Cabinet does pretty much all in the governance-role.[/li][li]I believe that if I can lift something, and it gets it’s weight increased by one atom, I will still be able to lift it. Therefore, I shoudl be able to lift anything. Like a reverse Zeno’s paradox.[/li][/ol]
Oh, and I believe that bad things happen on my birthday. Weird, but I believe it.
-Cem
My current crackpot theory. In the Iowa caucuses leading up to the 2004 presidential election, Karl Rove somehow engineered John Kerry’s victory. Rove and company had decided that Kerry was the guy that Bush best matched up with and hence began the “electability” meme among Dean voters that was the eventual downfall of Dean and rise of Kerry.
This isnt a crackpot theory since it happens ALL the time;
The more money you manage to put into savings, the larger the accident/emergency will be that will cause you to spend it.
It never fails for me…I get to a certain point of money savings and something always seems to come up and I have to spend it.
Huh. I must have pissed off the Thrift Shop Gods at some point because if I go out looking for something in particular, I never, ever find it. If I just go out looking for whatever, just to see what’s out there, I’ll find something I do need. That blue sweater that matches everything, a cool white blouse, a skirt that fits just right… but I can’t go out with something specific in mind.
How do I get back in the good graces of the Thrift Shop Gods?
To get back in the Thrift Store Goddesses’ Graces you must tithe your old shit to get new shit. Also, you must not really need the item in quesiton. It is also a perk for the Goddesses if you give a " YESSSSSS!" in the store in a very loud voice.
YMMV.
Other theories:
Shakespeare is popular because he is public domain, not because he is some kind of wordy genius.
All those required reads in school ( Moby Dick, Silas Mariner, to name a few) are all public domain, too. Or most of them are. It’s all about royalties, man. Those that aren’t ( Catcher in the Rye and 1984) are all apart of the Illuminati 17/18 Correlation.
Nope. First, they’re not goddesses. They’re dead Jewish women. Spirits like Ethel, Myrna, and Ruth hang around thrift stores, seeking those items they could not possess in life. To earn their favor, bury three ceramic jars at a Jewish cemetery under the new moon. The first jar must be filled with mandel bread, ruggele, apple cake. The second jar must be filled with tea bags (no green tea!). The last jar must be filled with packets of Sweet N Low.
I disagree. I feel Shakespeare lives up to his reputation. I feel Moby Dick has flaws, and if I had been Melville’s publisher I’d have demanded another draft, but it’s a masterpiece.
OTOH
IMO Dickens is crap. Crap. Crap. So is the original Frankenstein.
I’m trying DocCathode’s idea. I tithe old shit back to the thrift shop all the time, but am still not in good with the Thrift Shop Gods when searching for something specific. I tithed all my old fat clothes when I lost weight, and it was good stuff, too. Some decent stuff from Lane Bryant and The Avenue. I tithe my kid’s outgrown clothes, too.
I’m off to find three ceramic jars and mandel bread, ruggele, and apple cake! Tea bags and Sweet and Low, I have! 
I have a confirmation for you (with caveat). One of the programs I work on (I didn’t write it, but it’s my job to make it work) had this very problem in Windows. It turned out that certain download operations were triggered on messages sent to the download window. When you move your mouse over the window, Windows sends lots of messages to the program about the position of the mouse. The end effect was that “massaging the download” increased download speeds substantially. :smack:
Of course, that bug didn’t last long once reported, but I’m sure a similar one still exists in someone else’s code.
Another Unsubstantiated Theory I remembered this morning in the shower: if you use the same brand of shampoo for a long period of time, your hair builds up a tolerance to it and it won’t clean your hair as well. You should switch brands (cheap or expensive, your choice, doesn’t matter) every four months or so to keep this tolerance from building up.
I believe this. I often keep two or three different brands of shampoo in my shower just for variety.