I have the same theory, only about my refrigerator. As soon as I close the door, the light goes on and the veggies party with the cheese. On occasion I’ve tried to catch them by quickly opening the fridge door again, but these buggers are just too fast!
Also, I’ve had the “Wyoming” theory - but about Bielefeld. And I am not alone!. If you don’t know Bielefeld that’s because it does not exist, that’s why.
A theory I have is if I buy an ‘expendable’ or ‘pawn’ veggie or fruit to be sacrificed to the refrigerator Gods, the rest of my produced will be spared a shriveled and dried out-drawn out death.
I have done this for nearly ten years and I swear by this. That or veggies and fruits are cannibals once the door goes out…hey…that’d be something to see…
If you pay off all of your extraneous bills ( credit card/car payment) and breath a sigh of releif that you can now start putting money away for something…you have just started a mechanical revolt in your house or garage.
Something major will break down (water heater, transmission, etc) and right after then small appliances commit suicide ( the toaster, microwave and the answering machine.)
If you keep a balance on your credit cards…say $50, nothing will ever break down. It’s better than insurance. at 13% interest.
Chocolate isn’t candy. Candy bars most definitely aren’t candy. I put both groups in with cookies and other sweets. Chocolate is food. Candy means sugar with some weird artificial flavoring and artificial coloring with only sweet or maybe sour taste. Not an ounce salt or bitterness in candy.
I believe that Barney is the Antichrist, and Elmo is the False Prophet. Haven’t figured out who the Beast is yet.
I have this idea about the circulation of dollar bills in a strip bar. See, one dollar bills never enter or leave a strip bar. They just circulate continually between the bar, the customers, and the dancers. On a busy Friday or Saturday night, the circulation of ones creates a vortex which, if you can get into the center of it, makes time travel possible. Somewhere between 9:00 pm and midnight, as customers bring in $10’s and $20’s, exchange them for $1’s, then take them stageside to tip the dancers, if you can get into the vortex, you can travel forward in time. After midnight, when the dancers start taking their accumulated singles to the bar and changing them for larger bills, the direction of circulation reverses and you can travel backward in time.
I believe that the Australian government is genetically engineering highly venomous creatures like the tai-pan, box jellyfish, and the Sydney funnelweb spider. Their sinister plan is to bolster the Australian economy by persuading other countries to open factories, make “loans” that will never be paid back, etc., by threatening to unleash massive numbers of these deadly creatures in major urban centers.
If you put it in Bigger Smurter wording, you could probably get a grant to study this phenom. Which is brilliant.btw.
Similar to this, and to what Dob said is that the moment you have a look at your finances and decide that they’re relatively stable and healthy, and that you can blow what little savings you have (say, by buying a new computer) - something expensive will immediately break (for instance, your car’s catalytic converter).
Stupid catalytic converter.
I believe that those with memories of alien abduction aren’t random oddballs…
…they’re just the ones who remember.
We are ALL abducted at one time or another…every single one of us!
:eek:
I have secretly entertained the thought that, somehow, the Nielsen people know what everybody is watching regardless if you are a Nielsen family or not. When you change the channel and leave it on, some sort of signal goes back and that the “Nielsen families” are a coverup, if you will.
I once went to Yellowstone and saw a huge crowd near the Old Faithful geyser. Not only was the crowd large but it seemed to contain people from every country in the world–people who in other circumstances would have been waging war and throwing hand grenades. They all just stood there, waiting for the geyser to blow.
Conclusion: If you want world peace, we’ll need more geysers.
Just look at the end of my pen, Enola…:::::bright flash of light::::::
No, man, they are watching us through all the damn Atomic Time Keeping Clocks that were the rage a couple years back. I’m sure of it. Where is my tinfoil hat?
Note to self: if ever in strip bar, pay bartender with exact change or wear gloves.
Have you ever noticed that the US POst Office delivers only junk mail on Saturdays?
That’s so when the time is right, they can simply suspend Saturday deliveries.
I don’t wear no tin foil hat, so I got their plans from my electrical outlets - even the slogan they’ll use to justify the measure: “Why trudge to your mailbox on Saturday, just for handful of shit?”
It’ll resonate in the red states.
Oooh, TV Theories! There are TV People out there who hate me, and are listening to everything I say. I am convinced that if I publicly proclaim a liking for a certain TV show, it will promptly be cancelled. If I mention that a certain show is stupid and that I never watch it, it will run for years and years. I cannot be dissuaded from this belief.
I hear ya! I believe that myself. 
I Knew It!!! See… I told ya! I’m not the only one that has noticed this!
I was a farm kid who stayed outdoors whenever possible, but I had skin allergies and hayfever from a very early age. However, I believe the theory is true for the most part, and I was just a weird kid.
I also believe that the root cause of diabetes is inactivity.
I agree with those who said air conditioning is a cause of obesity. But also computers and the Internet.
The idea of eating 3 meals a day, is just ridiculous and unnecessary.
Airconditioning is also the cause of anti-social behavior and the decline of the front porch.
The Universe
Our Earth is one electron
of
Our Solar System being one atom
of
Our Galaxy being one molecule
of
Our Universe being one brain cell
of
A Divine Being / Creator / What have you
…And that we’re all a bunch of inconsequential sub-atomic particles who think they have they have the mysteries of time and space figured out.
Popular Music
Any song (even the most avant garde, noise-like stuff) can become a chart-topping hit with the right amount of airplay & promotion behind it.
Anatomy
Cancer is a genetic disease.
No one can ever visit a chiropractor once. Chiropractors inadvertently (or for real tinfoil-hattery: purposely) do something to a person’s joints that will require follow-up visits throughout their lives.
Voter Fraud
Is wide-scale throughout the country & carried out by both political parties.