Like others above, Bob Evans is just “The Bob.”
Regional grocery store Giant Eagle is “Big Bird”
Arby’s is known only as “Kidney” because you have to sell a kidney if you want to eat there these days.
Regional Denny’s-type restaraunt Eat n’ Park is “Spin and Barf”
And my favorite creation - Red Lobster is “Dead Hamster”
Wachovia made me think of the old song, “Someone to Watch Over Me.”
However, the commercials call it “Walk over ya.”
This thread is hilarious! My contributions:
Local grocery chain is called Hen House…we call it Chicken Mart
Waffle House we pronounce “Whaf-Leh Houuuuse” with a Latka Gravas (Andy Kaufman from Taxi) accent.
The check cashing/liquor/thrift store/chinese restaurant/pizza place strip mall that’s around the corner is “The Poor People Mall” (we go there all the time BTW!)
The Fort Worth paper Star-Telegram is of course the Startle-gram.
I used to call the Sack-and-Save low-end supermarket the Bag-and-Barf. (They changed the name a while ago to something I can’t remember.)
And I can’t leave out Rad Shack.
Panera Bread = Pantera
Trash Cock = Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs… Mr J made that up after I mentioned that Mike Rowe is an attractive older man.
“No one Kitchen” - a local Asian restaurant with a sign that actually says “No.1 Kitchen”
hoe Carnival… because the “S” wasn’t lit up one night.
Grand Am = Grandma
a bunny = spatula
the space truck = an acquaintance’s silver Montero
Circuit Shitty
Taco Hell
AOHell
almost forgot…
There’s some “One-to-One Nursing” place near my house that I guess it for home nursing solutions. The logo for the business used to be in the style of those pedestrian crossing people, with two figures, which I suppose were supposed to represent a nurse bending over a patient to help care for them. But it really looked more like the nurse figure is bending over to um… copulate with the patient. That combined with the slightly suggestive sounding business name means we call it “Naughty Nurses”.
Also, there’s some hair salon place whose name is written in a fancy script on a red background, with a picture of a wax seal that looks pretty much like the cover of a famous book. So we call it “The Secret”.
I forgot to post this one:
A woman came into the store I work at, and was quite embarrassed because she couldn’t remember the name of the cheese she wanted. She finally admitted that she and her kids call it “Mad Cow cheese”.
Our local newspaper is called the Santa Barbara News Suppress. We called it that even before Wendy McCaw fired all the staff and made the sobriquet actually true.
No one’s mentioned this?!?
The word processing program, Microsoft Weird
'Course that’s not a only name, more like a dead-on description.
LOL, that cow does look rather loony!