I think this must be an american thing because ive never even heard of it happening here in the uk…
You’ve never heard it called “Marks & Sparks”? There have got to be others in the UK as well.
Barnes & Noble -> Bones & Narble
USAirways -> UselessAsswipes
BP -> Bee Pee or Apiary Urinary
Extended Stay America -> Expensive Stay America
Brooks Brothers -> Burukusu Buradasu (their name in Japanese)
Chock Full o’ Nuts -> Chock Full o’ Schmutz
obsolete nomenclatures:
General Foods -> Generous Fools
Netscape Communicator -> Nutscrape Computerhater
Wal Mart -> Tram Law
Applebee’s -> Crapplebee’s (even though I don’t hate it as much as many here do)
Charlotte Observer -> Charlotte Disturber
Not a brand name, but:
Parmesan cheese -> Paramecium cheese
Zeldar, according to Deadmalls.com, 100 Oaks should probably be called ‘The Mall That Wouldn’t Die’
Since the USA Today is to a newspaper, what a fast food joint is to a restaurant, I took to calling it the McNewspaper or just McNews.
I am soooooo stealing this one! HAR!
Wally*World
KMartha
Pubics (Publix Supermarket)
Idolatry (Dollar Tree)
Big Slut (Big Lots… there was this really tall slutty looking woman who worked there…)
The Pig or Hoggly Woggly (Piggly Wiggly Supermarket)
IBarf (guess)
Awful House (guess)
Hurl House (Huddle House)
Booger King (BK)
Blows (Lowes)
I remember a few more:
Hardee’s = Hardly’s
Macintosh = Mine-can-crash
This works for car models, too.
The Ford Mud-Stain
The Jean-Claude Grand Am
The Cavalier Attitude
The Toyota Pretentious
Mad magazine called Sears Roebuck “Scars Rowboat,” but now it’s just “Sneers.”
Taco Bell is “Tacobell’s Cannon.”
Pizza Hut is “Pete Zut.”
Somebody here excoriated those who say “Tar-zhay” from the old brilliant commercial, so now it’s “Togget.”
Burger King is “Burr-GURK-ing.”
Radio Shack is “Radio Snack.”
The SDMB once had a transmission mechanic who said he had put his kids through school on the trannys in “Ford Exploders,” and I haven’t called them anything else since.
The Toyota “SillyCar.”
I found out that Monahan was my political enemy, so his pizzeria became “Domi-nono’s”
Sometimes I think “The Strolling Bones” or “Pig Boppy,” but I respect them too much to say it out loud.
Every convenience store is a “Kwik-E-Mart.”
My bank, Star Financial, morphed into “Starvin’ National.”
Was in Ireland a few years ago, and saw a bar called “Tipsy Mc Stagger’s.” Sadly we were driving and the camera wasn’t ready.
Chronicle Herald = Chronically Horrid
S^G
Creative Loathing.
A few more:
Dollar General - Dollar Genital
USA Today - McPaper
I live in a very rural area, so I frequent Hooterville Hardware and Hooterville General Store.
Red Lobster is known as Fred Lobster’s, but that is more in homage to my then 3 y. o. son’s pronunciation that anything else. Because of him we also eat brefkist. Our term for these is ‘Bobbyism’. If I could remember them all, they make a thread in their own right.
ETA: Kmart - K-Fart
Taco Bell = Taco Hell, but not just any Taco Bell, a specific one. There are about 6 in the general area of the college I went to and each had their own nickname.
Target - Tarzhay, but only until Target themselves started using it in their commercials, then it became apocryphal.
The local non-7-11 convenience store (can’t remember the real name) - Quik-E-Mart (like Simpsons).
Also, any store with a lighted sign, some of it’s letters of whose lights have gone out = whatever the sign spells with those letters missing.
also…
Best Buy = The Buy More (Chuck).
Home Depot = The Workbench (Reaper).
Walmart = (whatever they call it in Evil Dead).
Quiznos = we wuv deez subs!
Barnes & Nobles = Barns n Stables.
In the Navy we would to refer to Puget Sound (WA) as Pubic Mound.
Come to think of it, we had a lot of slangy names for places – Virginia Beach is always “Vah Beach” (Highway signage spells out the town as VA Beach); Washington DC is always “inside the Belt(way)”; and Alexandria, Egypt was “The Armpit.”
I always pronounce CompUSA as “com-poo-sa”.
Grocery Outlet is “the used food store”.
There used to be a local all-night diner called Hall of Fame, which we called Ball of Phlegm.
Belk is “BELK, BELK, BELK!!!” It’s such a gutteral-sounding name.
We have a Chinese restaurant called Hunan Best, we call it Human Beast.
Wachovia is “wa-cho-vi-ah”, most seem to pronounce it as “wa-ko-vi-ah”.
Spaghetti and meatballs is “Pasketti and meat bulbs”. Think I got that from Dennis the Menace. :rolleyes:
Wachovia=Walk all over ya
KFC=Kluckin Fuckin Chicken
From the archives:
NCNB*=No Cash for No Body or No Cash for No Blacks
First Union=First Onion
- (North Carolina National Bank, precursor of the current Bank of America)
We also call KFC King Fucker Chicken, after a "Japanese Engrish"ism we saw a long time ago in “Dave Barry Does Japan.”
And the Suzuki Hayabusa motorcycle is the “Hihowahya” (always in a thick Noo Yawk accent)
But but but… it’s a local place. Not a chain.
Let’s see, with respect to the OP:
There’s Taco Hell. With the full name being Taco Hell-OOO Nurse!
Burger Thing
Pizza Slut
KFR (Kentucky Fried Rat)
Smushed Beans for Refried Beans
Dreaded Chicken for Breaded Chicken
Glop is my family’s normal, everyday name for most baked casseroles.
Sliders for cheap hamburgers
Grinder Turkey aka Seagull for Cornish Game Hen
Ottoman Empire for pressed Turkey
Colored Cauliflower for Broccoli
Bleached Broccoli is, of course, Cauliflower
Vitamin P is Pizza
Oh, yeah: It’s Internet Destroyer, people. Not Exploder.
And HSBC stands for: Holy Shit! The British are Coming!
One more, based on my experiences while I worked there in HS: K-Mart is The Temple to the Great God Murphy.