I use email every day and I’ve actually run an email server. This makes me qualified to be the director of the FBI.
SecState, then.
Now if you played dress-up as a kid, I would agree about the FBI.
For those who don’t get it, J. Edger Hoover was rumored to be a cross-dresser.
I dated a lady from Uruguay for while, I could be Ambassador to Uruguay. Which would be good for me because they have legal marijuana…and cute women folks i might add.
Some say I owe my freedom to the US military. So I’m qualified to be the Secretary of Defense.
When I was on active duty, I served in the Navy, but I did my grocery shopping at the nearby Army base. So, I’m pretty sure that qualifies me to be Secretary of the Army.
I am human, I have health (not always good, but I have it). Therefore, I should be in charge of “Health and Human Services.”
I have a security system at my house that I put together and plugged in all by myself and I have TSA Pre, so I am eminently qualified to be Secretary of Homeland Security.
I’m near a national park so I’ll be Secretary of the Interior.
I’m over-qualified. I’ve been in a national park. I suppose my hiking Half Dome will be the scandal that sinks my nomination.
Speaking of which, I’ve hiked the Appalachian Trail for a day or two, but these days that wouldn’t be a detriment.
[sings] Happy trails to you…[/sings]
With that kind of cross-service expertise, I kinda see you as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
I have a wide array of experience, so there are a few ways in which I could serve on the President’s cabinet.
I’ve managed not to get too deeply into hock. That makes me competitive for Secretary of the Treasury or Chair of the Council on Economics.
I have an MS in Entomology, and I used to have a garden. Secretary of Agriculture might be a better fit.
I work for myself as a tutor, and I’ve TAed intro bio and chem courses. Secretary of Education, here I come!
Aren’t you a good soldier, though? How about Secretary of Defense?
I could be the Poet Laureate
Cause I totally wouldn’t ignory it.
I dug a bunch of post holes and built a fence, so I’m clearly the most qualified to be Secretary of Defense!
I’m loud–my voice carries pretty well–and with three kids, I got to be good at stepping in between bickering, whining twits carrying on over minor BS, so I’m qualified to be Speaker of the House.
I love road trips, so I should have no trouble heading up the Department of Transportation.
I’ve watched some *Star Trek *so being in charge of NASA seems a good fit.
I’ll take Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms as I drink, smoke and like guns.