What are your sartorial no-nos?

In My Humble Opinion
81

My chest is not a billboard, Abercrombie. Aeropostale has it right with their little “A87” they throw on everything. Also, Express? Please stop putting your stupid lion thing on everything you make. It’s a bit less pronounced recently, which I appreciate, but I don’t want to be the 2008 version of the dragon shirt.

I will wear shorts in summer, but only with opened toed shoes. Flip-flops or sandals only. Shorts and socks are just…weird.

I absolutely love sorority girl dress around here on campus. It will be fifteen degrees outside and raining, they’ll be wearing a big heavy ski jacket, rain boots, and camel toe shorts that come up to their ass. I ride my bike past these bimbos every morning shivering and freezing with 95% of their legs exposed and giggle to myself.

82

For me:
Colourful, “whimsical” or “cute” socks- unless worn with high-tops or boots so they can’t be seen. I wear plain black, navy or brown socks- matched to shoes and/or trousers.

Bedwear suited to the average 5 year old, or a stripper- you know, pyjamas that are luridly pink and covered in teddy bears, or a skimpy t-shirt with “this princess needs her beauty sleep” or something similar emblazoned on the front in sparkles. I wear nice checked, striped or tartan flannel or cotton PJs around the house and nothing in bed.

Shorts. Ever. Yuck.

Black shoes with brown trousers or vice versa.

Those nasty cheap polyester black trousers that seem to be a staple of every other woman’s wardrobe. I have black trousers in linen, wool and a cotton/wool blend- none of them are the shiny, staticky, cheap looking nightmares that everyone else seems to be wearing nowadays, and none of them were exorbitantly expensive.

I don’t wear orange or yellow- but I’ll wear brightly coloured tops and skirts(blues, reds, pinks, greens, purples). Trousers are grey, black, navy or brown.

I don’t wear white trousers- I own one white skirt, which I’ll wear for maybe one day in the summer.

I have two sets of trousers- one set for wearing with flats, one set for wearing with heels. There is a 2" difference in the inside leg. I cannot abide trousers that are too short with heels, nor the ends of trousers dragging on the ground if I wear flats.

83

I never thought I would say this, but no jeans. They never fit me right and usually end up too baggy. I am just fine in khakis or slacks, which probably look a little classier anyway. And they are so hot in the summer (no way in hell I would wear a pair of shorts either!) I don’t think I could ever go back to jeans.

84

I wear ties as little as possible because I always feel like I’m choking when wearing one, even if I loosen it up a bit.

85

I was quite thin when younger, so won’t wear shorts now that i am average weight.
Any pants that are not black.
Any socks that are not black.
A fashionable neck scarf indoors.
A baseball cap
a short sleeved top! Only sleeveless will do (otherwise I feel 80 years old)

86

Nothing too tarty or impractical, like shoes with heels, but on the other hand, nothing too uber-frumpy like Birkenstocks or Crocs. Socks with sandals is a hanging offence, and the same goes for men who wear leather shoes with white tennis socks.

No tight clothes, bikinis or lo-riders (as someone else said - it’s a privilege not a right) and no T shirts with cutesy/saucy slogans, please.

Hardly any synthetic fibres. When it’s hot (which is most of the time where I live) I can’t wear anything with sleeves.

87

No T-shirts, or blouses with short sleeves or cap sleeves* for me. I have always had heavy upper arms relative to the rest of my body, and I think that anything that visually cuts my arms in half through their thickest part makes them look that much heavier. I will, however, wear sleeveless tops in hot weather because I think that they look better than T-shirt lengths.

And I think the absolute worst look for any woman, myself included, are too-large or oversized T-shirts where the “short” sleeves hang loosely to the elbow. They make slim women look sloppy, and larger woman, especially busty ones, look bovine. In my opinion, they shouldn’t be worn in public, except maybe as workout wear.

*Exception: I have a twinsets where the inner tops have short sleeves. When I wear them, I never remove the matching cardigan.

88

I really don’t mind ties per se, it’s the trousers that go with them. I’m of barely medium height and, based on the last time I bought jeans, have a 27 waist. In other words, quite slight for a fifty-year-old guy. Normal dress or casual slacks are always uber-baggy on me, but I can usually find jeans that fit, or have them made. Oddly, I like a sharp shirt and tie combo; I’m always noticing Larry King’s on his show, as he seems to have a flair there.

89

Having lived there, I could understand this preference in Germany. But in California sweaters are my main go-to for outerwear. I walk a lot, and nothing beats having something you can wear for a little added warmth, but take off and tie around your waist or throw in your computer bag when it gets too warm. A jacket usually has to be held, or given to somebody to mind, or otherwise inconveniently dealt with when one takes it off.

90

Seems like half of the posts here are no-nos for other people, but the other half (and the OP) are for one’s self. So… I’ve got a lot of personal no-nos.

For pants: I don’t wear shorts. Period. I got tired of being told I had bony knees and/or people mocking my paleness. I rarely wear jeans; they’re too bulky and uncomfortable until well-broken-in, and I don’t wear my few pairs often enough to make them comfy. Cargos are okay only for work or chores, otherwise I’ll be wearing chinos or better if I can manage it. And, no pleated fronts on anything.

I’m really picky with shirts. No Polo shirts (reminds me of working fast food), no club shirts, no casual button-up shirts, no short-sleeve dress shirts, no button-down collars. I prefer shirts without chest pockets, really prefer fitted dress shirts (non-fitted are fine if I’m wearing a jacket). A neutral or coordinated t-shirt is a must with any shirt. T-shirts should be of normal length and size, fitted is nice… those giant t-shirts that look like draped dresses won’t work.

No sweaters, no sweatshirts or sweatpants, track pants are reserved only for actual working-out, no sandals/flip-flops, no Crocs. Casual/athletic shoes must not be overly-padded “foot pillow” type sneakers. Dress shoes should be oxfords or similar, with no decorative stitching or holes.

Now that it’s cold, I’m once again alone among coworkers for breaking out a wool overcoat and scarf. I can’t wear those puffy synthetic-fiber jackets that make “shoop!” sounds when you swing your arms.

Accessories/et cetera: a plain, non-gaudy watch; a plain, non-gaudy leather belt, and black-frame glasses. Nothing else (except a wedding ring if I ever get married again). I would refuse to wear a Bluetooth earpiece, and long ago removed my ear and tongue piercings. No tattoos at all; I like the fact that I’m seemingly a rarity, a youngish thirty-something with unmarked skin.

And, for all clothes and accessories: I won’t wear light colors. No pastels, and if I wear red it’s going to be scarlet; blue, it’ll be navy. Every ex of mine has sworn that they’d get me to start wearing bright or light colors, then they see how sick I look with those colors on. I look great in darker shades, though, and can look just flashy in maroon or magenta.

Overall: I’d rather be too dressed up than too dressed down, so my wardrobe tends to reflect this; lots of dress clothes, few casual clothes. And this is all a 180 from where I was a decade ago.

91

I don’t understand why people don’t realize that those monstrosities are meant for wearing during outdoor activities, which does not include walking from your car to your office.

Skiing, snowmobiling, hiking, camping, climbing Mount Everest? Go ahead and wear your stay-puft. Working, shopping, dropping the kids at school? Get yourself a grownup coat.

92

Actually this can be generalized to my distaste for wearing baggy pants in general. I haven’t been fashionably happy since about 1988.

93

This is going to sound sarcastic, but I mean it genuinely—I would love to go shopping with you. I think you could whip my wardrobe into shape by the end of a few hours.

My other one that I thought of is that I have started really focusing on solid colors the older I get, with the exception of a few classic suits (2 pin-striped, one very small check pattern). Prints just make me look kind of goofy.

94

To be kind to the coworkers of mine who wear these for everyday activities, we’re a relatively poor demographic, and they probably can’t easily afford a second coat. I’m the one who looks out-of-place pushing in lines of shopping carts at 3 AM while wearing a natty scarf and slim wool coat.

…but, when we’re walking back into the store and we pass a mirror, I don’t look at myself and think “hey, Michelin Man!”

95

The way ties are worn with attached, fold-over, collars makes the problem they were designed to prevent worse. You’re supposed to wear it around the neck itself to keep your starched detachable shirt collars from wilting or yellowing from sweat and oils. The pattern of the tie hides ring-around-the-collar type discoloration and can add a bit of color and personal style.

A lot of non-functional little style points on modern clothes were originally ways to hide damage and poor craftsmanship, or ways to hide extra fabric for future alterations. Yay, pointless trivia!

I don’t like pleated front pants, either. I’m never going to have them taken out, and the extra fabric just looks bad on almost everyone.

Sweats or pajama pants in public. I don’t care if they have pockets, I look like I escaped from a mental health ward (the crazed gleam may contribute to this, YMMV).

I’m not a big fan of jeans. I usually will have one pair that I’m willing to wear because they’re unusually comfortable, but mostly I don’t like the weight and lay of the fabric and seams used to make them.

I’ve owned one set of sandals/flip-flops that didn’t make me feel like I had to flex my toes to keep them from flying off when I tried to walk. Not a fan of those either.

I don’t like bold stripes or label advertising. I don’t mind logos as much as I once did, but I still can’t fathom why anyone would pay extra for a $2 t-shirt that has “Abercrombie and Fitch” printed across it.

96

Have to strongly disagree with csv on the belted jeans thing. Don’t wear a belt with your jeans! Girls can get away with something stylish or funky if the waist is high enough; but, a lot of our jeans are lower and a belt doesn’t even really fit. This actually came up in conversation yesterday and people were incredulous that a guy would ever belt his jeans. My brother does it sometimes and it does not look right at all!

I won’t wear:
White
Collared shirts
Pastels
Tennis shoes (unless I’m actually working out)
Thong underwear
Foundation (makeup)
Big earrings
Pantyhose
Logo shirts
Floral patterns
Belts

97

No pink, no dresses, no skirts, no “witty” word tees, no shirts with sexual innuendo. No heels.

Neckties are sexy, BTW. Wear them more, guys.

98

Well, first off, I dress all in black as much as possible. And I cannot abide the feel of most synthetics next to my skin, or the way they look, so I’m pretty much limited to cotton and wool and leather as fabric options. Otherwise:

No underwear. Hate the stuff.

No polo shirts, ever!

No short pants.

No sweatpants.

No old-guy pants, like with the damn tongue and bracket closure, either.

No logos, except for occasional band shirts if they look really cool, and I really, really dig the artists in question.

Tight clothes – uncomfortable. Baggy like the kids like to wear now – silly and unbecoming for a guy my age.

Most hats – I like a beret or wool cap, maybe an oldstyle gangster-movie widebrim if I want to spiffy up my look, and my Giants cap only if we go see them play.

Mirror sunglasses.

Sandals. Burkenschlocks.

Don’t like sweaters either.

I would sooner do 30 days in County than to ever wear bib overalls…

99

I can’t stand v-neck undershirts. What the heck kind of shirt doesn’t cover your chest? I can only assume the point is so your undershirt won’t be visible when your collar is unbuttoned. Great, so now you see my chest hair instead.

100

I’m going to keep going with personal sartorial no-nos, and will probably convince myself once and for all that I am a neurotic, irrational, unfashionable mess.

I don’t wear shorts. I don’t wear skirts, either, unless I’m attending a wedding or a funeral.

I don’t wear anything white or light-colored. This includes socks. With the exception of the socks, this helps me avoid looking like an indistinct pale entity. I need some contrast, you see. Socks must not be white because they just look goofy.

My relationship with dark colors is complicated and very irrational. Navy blue is to be avoided at all costs. Black is to be favored in most cases. Jeans, however, are allowed, even encouraged, to be deepest unfaded indigo, and black jeans are an abomination.

I am firmly in the wool overcoat camp, as overstuffed nylon jackets that shuffle with every movement make me uncomfortable. Sometimes I have to layer a bit, but I haven’t once longed for a big puffy parka, even in subzero temperatures.

This goes for all synthetic fibers, except for the occasional Polarfleece sweater. In the past, my after-school mc-job search has been limited by the uniforms. I was very careful to scope out prospective workplaces and avoid like the plague those who would issue me some disgusting, sweat-inducing polyester polo.

I will echo lots of Dopers here and declare my dislike for brand names, prints, and loud designs. I used to be a complete no-pictures girl, but I started wearing a few Threadless and webcomic tees. Apparently no neurosis will get in the way of being a geek.

However, the no-prints rule does not apply to handknit accessories. I tend to knit a lot of colorful scarves, fair isle hats and mittens, etc, and I don’t hesitate to wear those.