The odds are very great that sci-fi author Samuel R. Delany has swallowed my sperm.
:dubious:
m’kay…I’ll bite. 'splain, Lucy.
Dude, tell the story or don’t.
I, uh, probably flung hair sweat on Stevie Ray Vaughn. We had managed to get front row seats, so I had a T-shirt shop make me a prism-foil lettered shirt that said, “Stevie Ray, you are soooooo bitchin’!” I guess he spotted it, and he sat on a monitor right in front of us for a couple of solos. Actually, Stevie didn’t make much eye contact with anybody that night. He was musically brilliant, but he seemed to have his eyes closed or squinted most of the time.
We were both sexually active during the NYC gay scene of the '70s. Considering what each of us is into, sexually, it’s practically a certainty that he was on the other side of a glory hole, probably more than once.
I swapped spit (among other things…ahem) with Kelly McGillis. (we were VERY good friends back in the day…)
I did the sweaty handshake with Warren Beatty. In his kitchen. When he was wearing nothing but a towel, which is how he answered the door. He likes C-Span.
I think I spit a little when I accosted Groucho Marx on Wilshire Boulevard.
And I like to think I actually took in some Sting molecules when I was backstage at an Elton John concert and he was thisclose and man he smelled good.
But if I got his good molecules, I guess I also got Dennis Quaids tres funky molecules…man, that dude has some serious body odor and evidently no awareness of it at all.
As for pissing on Castro, my sister worked at the Cuban embassy, I’m told. I saw the picture, I was in a red jumper, he’s holding me and I have a huge pee stain. My blow for capitalism and The American Way.
Back in the day when I was dating Katherine Hepburn, in addition to the usual, she like to be peed on. Really.
Just kidding. She didn’t like to be peed on. But I did it anyway.
Just kidding, I never peed on her.
Actually, I never dated her either.
I can honestly say that my oral fluids once were deposited in Joan Cusack’s crotch.
Yeah, I spilled a beer into her lap at the Memorial Union in college. But it was her lap, and I had been drinking the beer so there was definately some of my saliva in there.
I once licked Nina Hartley.
I squirted beer from my mouth at Captain Sensible of the Damned during an after-show drinking session. I had recently read that the band did that while touring back in the day, and got carried away… He bore it with considerable patience. Or it was expected behaviour from a Damned fan…
Damned rowdy punk rockers…
The closest I ever got to celebrity was, I once breathed the same elevator air as Ben Wicks. I feel so… uncool.
Don’t. My list is huge and it doesn’t add to my cool factor in the least. In fact, it can make you feel even less cool - I don’t think I have ever felt as profoundly out of place and lame as when I spent the afternoon at Beatty’s house. I can remember few times when I felt less cool. Same thing backstage at Elton…celebrities and assorted beautiful people all around. I felt like a pimple on Gisele Bundchen’s ass.
I’m trying to think if I ever felt cool in connection with a celebrity encounter… yes. I was 10, it was 1968 and I went to Disneyland with Sammy Davis Jr. and his kids (his stepmother was my mother’s best friends, I saw a lot of him.) He was pretty much the biggest star in the world at that point and I felt pretty cool even though I’d known him all my life. We got to go to the front of every line, which was WAY cool, and we got to eat in the secret dining room above the brand new Pirates ride. I’ve felt cooler about that in the years since than at the time.
But that’s about it, and my celebrity meet-see-touch list is pretty damn long, seeing as how I grew up in and around Hollywood. Even went to Hollywood High. And yes, celebrities are readily seen all over the place when you live here.
Ooo! OO! I just remembered my most recent Celebrity Score…no fluids, but very cool chat with SIDNEY POITIER!! WOO HOO! That was a major, major score. He was delightful, we were waiting in line at La Brea Bakery, I was thrilled.
There is a fairly long list of celebrities that I shook hands with on the job at the Smithsonian, mostly of the geeky and nerdy sort. I did have a couple of interesting exchanges with John Kenneth Galbraith, but not of the bodily fluid type.
I don’t think the skaters in Disney on Ice count, so I’ll go with selling lottery tickets to Ray Mancini. My hands were probably a little sweaty. They usually are when I’m at work during the day.
Crushed up against the stage of Guildford City hall for the Ziggy Stardust tour in 1975 I ***touched David Bowie’s knee. *** I was sixteen and for a long time was rather embarrassed by this but now I’m really proud 
If I touched David Bowie’s knee (circa 1975), I would get a mega-woodie.
If I were male I’m sure I would of too!
At a Proclaimers show in Seattle a few years back, I was up near the front of the stage and let loose a seriously foul smelling fart. I was a little embarrassed because the people around me were definitely noticing it but then to my horror, both of the Proclaimer guys made obviously “we just smelled something horrible” faces.