You have the number from her FB page - what happens if you call her on it? Can you hear it ringing somewhere?
make sure to use *67 before the number to block caller ID.
A minor thing but something that might change your daughter’s perception of this guy – when you’re talking about him, with your daughter and the therapist or whomever – don’t refer to him as “an older man” or an “older guy” or by his name-- refer to him as “the sex offender” or “the pervert”. It might help her see him in a different light. It de-romanticizes and belittles him and makes it harder for her to defend him, partly because it reflects back on her, for choosing him, and partly because she’ll start to see him as others see him, and that’s important to kids.
My daughter was involved with a real loser when she was in her late teens. Me pointing this out made no impression on her, but when I started referring him to as “doofus”, “Doofus is on the phone!” “Is that Doofus in the driveway?”, it helped deflate him. He wasn’t a boogeyman anymore, he was just a doofus, somebody to laugh at. My daughter told me that was the beginning of the end, thinking of him that way. Maybe it’d help with the perv.
Calling it goes straight to voice mail, and I can’t hear it so maybe the phone is turned off. I am sure she was prepared this morning because it wasn’t a secret that the phone will be found, and at this point will be confiscated. We were willing to let her have it within the boundaries, but this stubbornness in turning it over put an end to that. Bad enough that she continued to lie about it…now this is just the icing on the cake.
She is currently with her oldest brother (playing video games I think) but in nothing but her pajamas with nothing belonging to her on her person and downstairs. Meanwhile my husband and I are systematically searching her room, purses, jackets, book bags, etc. So far we have found some interesting things, but not the phone…and I am tired so I am taking a break. 
We’re about halfway done I think. The next thing I am doing is taking apart the bed, my gut feeling is that’s where we will find it, but I will let you know.
Sigh…I just want my sweet, well behaved little girl back!
I don’t have any advice to offer, but I wanted to chime in and tell **MitzeKatze **how proud I am of her for being a good, conscientious parent who clearly loves her kids and places her daughters well-being and safety well above her own comfort.
It takes a lot of guts (and unending patience) to stand up to a teenager and be a parent instead of a BFF.
Good on you, MitzeKatze! Thank you for what you do. I, like many others, will be watching this thread with interest.
I don’t have anything to contribute either, but I also want to say, MitzeKatze, you’re absolutely, positively doing the right thing. I wish all moms could be as caring and courageous as you. I know you may feel a little leery about setting all these limits and restrictions, and it can be exhausting enforcing them, but don’t let that dissuade you. Keep up the good work, and know that you’re doing right by your daughter.
Actually, that sounds like a great idea … though I would make sure she couldn’t sneak out of any basement windows without it being too obvious.
This would be a great idea in that you could [if money is reasonably available] make the girls design their perfect room, color, furniture and so forth. Getting them into designing, and then making [wall painting and stuff like that] is sort of like getting the picky eater involved in making food so they would actually eat [kind of riffing off the various picky eater threads] The resulting room could be seen as being inclusive [I know the therapist would have better words for it] rather than a punishment by making the other girl a spy. Sort of like in the old 50s movies where the one kid goes away and you get a ‘promotion’ in living arrangements.
and if you notice, some of the cell blockers are VERY limited in range … have to check but maybe one is only strong enough to do the basement…?
Good point! I knew lots of kids (which may or may not include myself) who did this. One option would be to install glass block windows which can’t be opened. An added bonus is that it would offer better insulation and more privacy for their room.
It could also very well be a code violation if it’s an egress window (designed for someone to get out if they are caught in the basement during a fire). You’d be better off just going to radio shack and getting a loud door alarm for the window. Of course it can be tricked with a magnet, but at least it’s a start.
I agree, blocking off windows like that is a very dangerous idea! Alarms might be the best bet.
Interesting! I didn’t think of that.
Poisonous snakes in the window wells! That way, she can still get out in an emergency, but if you’re not around to administer the antidote, she won’t get very far.
If you have her phone number, you should be able to find the phone records.
Here’s a start -
Here’s an option where it will give you more details for $5
http://www.intelius.com/people-search-phone.html
If you can find the service provider, you (or your lawyer) should be able to get the info as the minor’s legal guardian. From there, you could probably get the phone shut off.
You might have to go to court for it. But it might be worth it.
From the other end, if you know the phone is in Bio Mom’s name, you should be able to find out which service she uses. Daughter’s phone is probably the same.
You might want to consider a hidden microphone in her room. Could be as simple as a “baby monitor” under the bed or dresser, or something more sophisticated.
Now that’s going too far, IMO- that really is spying.
This
made me laugh out loud.
Cell phone is most likely in the bathroom. Or if you have drop ceilings anywhere, check up in the tiles. Ask yourself, “what is the least-used room in the house?” It’s in there. Or buried in the linen closet. . .
Man, the more I think about this the more overwhelming it seems. 
I’m thinking of you and wishing you strength while you walk through this. You are doing a great job!
Might be fun to get one of the lower powered ones and find a way to conceal it in or near her room. IF properly positioned you might be able to isolate the jamming to her room. Heck just flipping it on for a few minutes and having her get frustrated with the lack of ability to use her phone may become quite discouraging.
Hubby might also be able to use a service like googles grand central to arrange for a house phone to ring during jamming on the chance someone might call after hours.
Great suggestions everyone! 
I am particularly considering the poisonous snakes…
But more seriously, our basement doesn’t have windows except those little tiny slivers that barely let in light and aren’t big enough for anyone to get in or out of, so that’s not a concern (although that worried me when we first moved in in case of fire etc. but it has two sets of stairs; one to the living room and one to the dining room and smoke detectors everywhere, so I am feeling better about it than we first moved in.) It’s a rented townhouse so I am not sure how much painting etc. I want done down there but I have mentioned it to the girls, and they seem okay with the idea too. I did tell them that if they combined, I’d take them out to shop for new comforters, area rugs, etc. to personalize the space. I think they liked that idea better than changing rooms, but whatever works without a fight is good with me.
The cell phone…that stupid thing at which I am directing all my anger and frustration…was found. It took hours. And by that time I had checked the bathroom and linen closet too. It wasn’t in the bed as I suspected, so I moved mattresses and dismantled the whole thing for nothing…but it was probably time to flip the mattress anyway. Where it ended up being is so stupid that it shows my girl isn’t really thinking deviously enough but at the same time I thought it was so obvious that I didn’t think to look there first, so maybe she was on to something…She has a jewelry box with a false bottom. When she was a kid that’s where I would “hide” notes to her and pieces of candy and little things. And that’s where she hid the phone. She did tip me off a bit by hiding the jewelry box behind a shelf full of stuffed animals, but if I had been thinking straight, I would have looked for that first (I’d like to think…really though I thought that was way too obvious of a hiding spot).
By the time we found it, I was so angry. I had worked up a good head of steam by then and it took everything I had not to throw it at the wall or something. She got upset and cried and yelled about how it was hers (and then argued that it was her mom’s) and that we had no right to take it…so we didn’t. I did take the battery, the sim card, the key pad and everything else I could take apart without ruining it (it can all be reassembled in a matter of seconds) and handed her the empty shell. If she wants to be a smart ass then I can be too. I know that was petty, but it made me feel better. And I locked up the parts in our safe so I know I don’t have to worry about it at least for a while…
She has shut herself into her room ostensibly to put it back together and begin de-cluttering for moving day, but I think she is probably pouting. She said only a few words at dinner (which were all meal related) and won’t even look at us, but it is still better a reaction than what I was expecting.
I have had several friends who were able to get an at-risk kid turned around by sending them away for a period of time to a place far removed from where their difficulties are (in one case, all the way to China for a school year, where the bio-dad was working). Do you think her spending the summer with her beloved relatives might be beneficial for her? It would keep her away from bio-mom, away from home tensions, and she might mature a little bit, living in a different environment. Just a thought.
You can buy Mobile Spy, install it on her cell phone, give it back to her and literally watch every call and text and follow her GPS location if you want, right from your computer.