I bought two lemons, planning to use the zest in a recipe, but I made the dish and totally forgot to add any lemon zest. I don’t want to waste these lemons, and if I cut them up to squeeze them into icewater, they’ll surely dry up before I get to everything. Can I make a shot glass-worth of lemonade, or is there something better to do with them? I’m willing to cook, bake, dip wedges in sugar and just eat them – whatever it takes.
One lemon will make a quart of lemonade, give or take, depending on how strong you like it. I use two every time I make a two-quart pitcher of it. Course, adding vodka to it is also good . . .
Preserved lemons if you like moroccan food.
Make lemonade?
Damn you, lissener!
Also, you can put them under your Tshirt and go, “Look! Titties!”
When life gives you lemons…
Make an extremely weak electric battery.
Or down the back of your underwear, and go, “Oh! Shit!”
Choke on them and die. Stupid lemon eaters.
Dilbert
Fling one at the head of your enemy.
Fling it hard, and fling it well, straight at the vital unprotected cranium in which percolate hatred and some doubtless malefic plan for you, your favorite people and things, and other people and things which are not your favorites but which sort of remind you of them so they’re pretty cool too. Fling it in anger, and with determination, and use your dominant arm. Fling it bellowing a curse calculated to blacken his reputation, his teeth, his prospects, his eyes if it hits him in the nose, but not his shoes or Orange Roughy entree, because he might like to have those blackened. Fling it using the principles of physics and biomechanics to achieve maximum thumpitude upon that despicable dome. Focus on the justice of your vengeance and find in yourself the spirits of Nemesis, of Horus, and of Bob Feller. Huck that sucker. Do not embed heavy stones or rusty nails in the flung lemon, for that is not the way of honorable flinging or citric virtue. But you can totally poison it, dude, 'cause, like, you can say, hey, who’d ever have expected him to, like, eat it, you know? It’s worth a shot. Fling it with accuracy and gusto and pizzazz. Fling it while holding in your heart the memory of a thousand millions of victims, all the downtrodden souls who have been ill-used throughout history but never chanced to hold a lemon within range of their oppressors: fling for yourself, and for God and for Country, but fling it also for them.
And when your enemy cries out in fear and pain at having just been whacked in the beezer by divine lemony retribution, and your triumph is complete, but then he turns around, hold up the other lemon while theatrically rubbing the back of your head, and call out, “Hey! Who’s throwin’ @#$%ing lemons around?” If your enemy isn’t buying it, that’s when to fling your second lemon. This one you can load up with rusty nails and junk, on account of, you know, it’s self-defense.
Trade for a lime. The rest is up to you.
…make lemon titties, of course. 
( mildly work safe, no nudity. )
What would I do with two lemons? Take a large-bore syringe, and slowly inject into both of them a high quality vodka. Then pop them in the freezer and wait for a day when slushy lemony vodka pulp is just the thing.
Cartooniverse
Hey kid, hope your birthday was faaaaabulous. Much green beer, yes? Certainly some corned beef & cabbage… ::sends late birthday smooch::
Anyhoo–
Lemon One:
One medium zucchini, sliced
One medium yellow squash, sliced
One medium onion, sliced
Sautee veggies in olive oil until just tender, adding S & P to taste.
Toss in can of diced tomatoes and juice of one lemon. Cook until juices have reduced a bit.
Toss veggies with fettucini and top with Romano Cheese.
Enjoy
Lemon Two:
Sautee one medium onion in butter and olive oil until translucent. Sprinkle flour over & cook for a couple minutes to make roux. Add in enough milk or half & half to make a medium-thick bechemel sauce. Whisk in juice of one lemon.
Thaw one or two bags of thawed, rinsed & squeezed-dry baby spinach and fold into the lemon sauce.
Lovely additions would be crispy, crumbled bacon, romano cheese or dill. Serve with baked chicken boobies. YUM.
Damn... now I'm going to have to make creamed spinach tonight.
EnjoyUh, the lemon in your creamed spinach should be diced before cooking, of course.
I just woke up. :o <-- yawn
Get a couple of boneless chicken breasts. Juice the lemons to marinate the breasts - you really want immerse the chicken, so maybe add some bottled lemon juice, knowing that the fresh juice will add that much more flavor.
Grate the lemon peel to get a bunch of zest in the marinade
Add 1 tbsp of brown sugar, some salt and pepper and 1 - 2 chopped garlic cloves
Marinate chicken for at least 30 minutes
Grill the chicken, eat it and thank me later.
Lemon Meringue Pie served withlemon sorbet.
Let’s try that link forlemon sorbet again
First, you need to rent “Atlantic City.”
a) Slide lemons in half
b) Salt
c) Eat
I’ll take one if you’re giving them away