Without a doubt-
Bruce Campbell
I’d have him cut the turkey with a chainsaw.
You better go with the 24lb turkey!
I’d have The Jayhawks over. We would pig out, drink beer and then I’d get them to play some tunes. Or maybe ZZ Top! That would be fun! It would be a huge feast of Mexican food and Bar-B-Que. Those dudes know how to party.
Jon Stewart? Michael Schumacher? Too many interesting choices! I bet Schumy wouldn’t be much of a partyer and wouldn’t say much, either. Screw him! 
She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy!
Seconding Jon Stewart. But maybe Steven Colbert or Amy Sedaris would be better.
Dinner with the Sedarisoi would be great. David, Amy, and… The Rooster! (Who now has a baby, I understand.)
Hello people - Thanksgiving ** dinner ** ???
Emeril.
Ooh, I hadn’t thought of Jon Stewart, but I’ll third the idea.
For purely selfish and desperate reason–Elijah Wood.
From the non-lust angle, Mark Knopfler, Eric Clapton, and Susan Tedeschi. I’d feed them silly with the main courses, and then they’d provide the music for desert.
To provide the post meal exercise, Liv Tyler and Amy Wynn-Paster from Trading Spaces…
Adolf Hitler…I really want to know if he was a vegetarian-would he decline the turkey?
I’d just want to laugh through the whole thing then get someone else to clean up the mess afterward.
You all just KNOW Bill Cosby would be a scream at Thankgiving dinner!
For the same reason Cadbury Angel would have over Rickman, I’d have Jeremy Irons. I bet my grace would be more sexy!
AS eye candy for the guys in the house, I’d have to get Angie Harmon in here.
Sorry all folks who wanted Oliver Sacks - he and Anthony Hopkins will be dining with Mrs. Phlosphr and myself this thanksgiving. 
Glen Campbell - after dinner, we can get all likkered up, have a demo derby in the driveway, and sing Rhinestone Cowboy at the top of our lungs until we pass out.
Chevy Chase… It’s the holidays and we’re all in misery…
Ernest Shackleton
Anton Bruckner
Martin Luther
Julia Child
Too bad that only Julia is still alive…the other three would be rather poor conversationalists. sign
Christopher Walken
David Lee Roth
Judy Tenuta
Robin Williams. Stream of consciousness hilarity for a few hours.
SanguineSpider, what the heck are you thinking? He might try to stuff your 5 year old turkey!
Alton Brown.
or Ted from Queer Eye.
Well, I had thought to invite Julia Child, but she doesn’t even pretend to do her own cooking anymore, so that’s out…
How about G. Gordon Liddy? Sure, the guy’s a total nutbar, but, based on listening to his talk show, he is intelligent, articulate, a charming conversationalist, and a gentlemen with the ladies…
I’ll second him and Jon Stewart. Hell, Williams lives a few blocks away, he wouldn’t even have to be up past his bedtime!
Carson from the Queer Eye or Bea Arthur…
My boyfriend would pick U2’s Bono without a doubt…
It could happen!
I am very, very sorry…