What classic games would make interesting and/or humorously terrible movies?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m thinking about all these games that came out in the 80’s which didn’t seem to have very sophisticated storylines. It would be funny to have them as a Hollywood movie…either you’d get something which you could make a really interesting movie out of, or it would be so terrible it would be funny to watch.

Spy Hunter- You could make it out to be a cross between James Bond and Mad Max…the whole movie could be one long car chase :haha:

Asteroids- Make it a sequel to Armageddon :smiley:

Q-Bert- I’d love to see a movie of this one :haha: or maybe Clu-Clu land…it would be so bizarre!

2

MARIO BROTHERS…oh wait

3

E. T.: The Video Game: The Motion Picture - Watch in amusement at ET falls repeatedly into pits while trying to find the pieces of his space phone.

Missile Commmand - The futility of defending against certain thermonuclear annhilation would make an excellent story of human nature, looking at everyone from the missile silo operators all the way up the chain of command. Bonus points for keeping the original arcade ending.

4

Wasn’t this done with Clue?

5

Burgertime: a satirical “mockumentary” on America’s love of fast food, with a chirpy musical score that gets into your dreams and makes you want to kill and kill again.

6

Dark Castle for the Mac. I’d just like to watch the guy take out hordes of mice and bats with well thrown rocks.

Deja Vu could make for a very good movie. You could make it like Memento, only in chronological order. Well not exactly but only sorta.

Tombstone City would make for an absolutely bizarre movie. You’re being attacked by aliens which turn into a saguaro cactus if you shoot them. Unless you shoot them right next to an older saguaro, then they both disappear. Oh, and the pink tumbleweeds always roll directly away from you.

7

Prince of Persia will make a decent Arabian, “A 1001 Tales” type of story, where the hero is imprisioned, have to engage in sword fights, avoid falling tiles and spikes and do a lot of climbing to find the princess within a time limit.

Golden Axe is a good bet as a movie now, with all the fantasy mania started by Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, and what-else-is-there-come. Beside, it combines sex appeal (hulky barbarians with scantily-clad amazon fighter) with good-old-fashion violence plus special dazzling effects (thundestorm magic, dragons from the sky etc.)

On the other hand, Shinobi will be a good espionage, stealth thriller in which our good ninja has to double-jump over enemies, and throwing shruikens at enemies with deadly precision. To feed the frezny, or as a fellow-up, Ninja Gaiden can be thrown into the lot.

Arkanoid makes a good animation too, especially the final stage (for the NES) where you have to fight Doh (the big bell-like creature hanging in the middle of nowhere while spitting where seems to be french [freedom?] fries at you)

Gradius or Raiden can be modelled after the Top Guns movie. Gradius is a plus because you can offer to be politcally correct (fighting against aliens never seem to offend much people) and we can have scenes in which the heroes dives toward power-ups!

For more ‘in-depth games’, I would nominate King’s Quest or Space Quest, dependings which genre (fantasy or science-fic) tickles the audience’s fancy. Heck, Gabriel Knight would be cool as a horror flick - just imagine the scene when the bulter tears his heart out!

For the more family-friendly genre, we have Sonic and Tails, animals environmentalist stacked up against Dr Robotnik’s hordes of robots. Or perhaps a Final Fantasy I animation using the same 8-bit palette and art style from NES. That will be a blast from the past!

Just for the record, I think it will be a very,very, good idea if Diablo (the original, not part 2), Warcraft or Metal Gear Solid are made into movies. They both have stories that translate well into the big screen, especially MGS.

Wel, just my two cent worth.

8

Chess, the Musical. (Assuming it’s not about the record company, that is.)

9

Doom.

Arnold Schwarzenegger wanders around futuristic medieval castle blowing away easily-killed sprites. He makes a horrible Arnold-type comment after each death.

10

As frightening as this may sound, they actually are making a Spy Hunter movie…

11

Actually, Doom reminds me of Wolfenstein too. At least that will have more of a story…

12

Pac-Man- To ward off several ghosts who have been haunting him whenever he eats, a man develops a special kind of pill which allows him to pursue the ghosts and eat their spirits, but can only do this until the pill wears off. The ghosts’ eyes are inedible, however, and the ghosts’ spirits rejuvenate themselves from these eyes and come back to haunt the man each time. The special pills also lose their potency as time goes on.

13

Seems to me a Leisure Suit Larry film could be done either badly or quite well - potential for an entertaining character, certainly.

14

Uh dude, it brings me much pain to tell you that a Live Action Pac Man movie has been confirmed, and that is no joke :frowning:

15

Pong.

16

Elevator Action - Thrill to the adventure of this exciting adventure film as our hero secret agent struggles to overcome the odds and, um, get from the top of the building to the bottom.

Qix - It’s the near future. Our hero bulds boxes. The Box Police attempt to stop him… by any means neccessary!

Tapper - Tom Cruise and Bryan Brown star as bartenders who must serve their thirsty customers… by any means neccessary!

Centipede - Michael Bay directs this big-budget extravaganza. Bruce Willis as the wise-cracking exterminator.

17

Twister - Uncensored

Oh, you mean video games…

Q-Bert - With a cuddly main character who’s voiced by the same guy who plays Elmo, how can you lose? Unless you fall off the edge of the screeeeeeeeeeeen…

18

Hydro Thunder - An ambitious speedboat racer battles tough adversaries, badly plotted courses, police boats that shout warnings and then do absolutely nothing, and a brain-dead crew chief who absolutely will not shut the frag up.

Crime Fighters - Upon learning that some fat guy has kidnapped a bevy of young ladies for some reason, four street-brawler buddies do the only logical thing…take on a small army of criminal lowlifes who seem bent on killing them for no reason. Featured special attacks include the kick in the nuts, the roundhouse kick in the nuts, the back kick in the nuts, and the multiple kicks in the nuts.

Roadblasters - In the future, rally racing consists of shooting opposing cars and roadside gun turrets in vehicles that blow up if you breathe on them hard and get about two or three miles per tankful. Yeah, it’s a dumb sport, but whaddya gonna do.

Gladiator - Can the legendary swordsman Gurilanos defeat a whole bunch weapons thrown at him from out of nowhere and a bunch of dumb swordsmen before he gets all his armor knocked off? Rated PG-13 for that Irene thing.

Street Smart - The gripping saga of a pair of knuckleheads with the fighting ability of a Mike Tyson nontitle opponent who enter a national fighting contest for some reason. And, despite getting clobbered by everyone they meet, somehow manage to rack up trophies and babes.

The NinjaWarriors - An evil army is trying to take over the world, and the only hope of salvation is…a pair of cement-footed robots with a pair of freaking daggers and a bunch of feeble shurikens that blow up every time they get stabbed a few times. Yeah, this is going to work out great.

Superman The Video Game The Movie - An evil army is trying to take over the world, and the only hope of salvation is…two flying guys in Superman costumes who can do a few punches and kicks and disintergrate every time they get punched or grabbed a few times.

Rolling Thunder - Agent Albatross attempts to rescue the captured Leila from an evil organization. But it’s way too powerful for him and he gets killed almost immediately. Uh…but amazing extra life technology allows him to get back in the saddle! And get promptly killed again. And raised again. And killed again. Repeat until an acceptable movie length has been reached.

Boot Camp - A tough-as-nails drill sergeant puts a pair of young recruits through brutal paces. Obstalce courses. Shooting ranges. Cross-country races. Shooting ranges. Hand-to-hand combat. Shooting ranges. And…more shooting ranges. Finally, graduation day arrives, and none too soon, as terrorists have taken over the White House. The newly-graduated soldier is in! He manages to take out several guys with kicks…then takes a knife in the arm and dies instantly. And the drill sergeant kicks himself for not giving the soldier a gun and allowing him to use his shooting skills.

I got a million of these! (I’ll probably share most of them, too. :slight_smile: )

19

Metroid - hyperjes and I were talking about this in all seriousness. I wanna see it. We were debating who would play Samus Aran, and hyperjes came up with Jeri Ryan (7 of 9). It would work.

20

Seconded. I’m thinking either Ingmar Bergman or Peter Greenaway as director.