good afternoon friends
here in flyover country, talk radio is full of farm product commercials.
typical:
(spoken in a flat, midwetsrn accent)
“you’re not some clear coat manicured suit and tie wearing office worker, you’re a farmer! you get your hands dirty, your boots dirty, but you keep your fields clean. you attack broadleaf weeds and grasses with Roundup!”
(repeated approximately every ten minutes or so, and you really begin to appreciate NPR again)
Those PuppyChow ads, where the little puppy has super-hu… er super-puppy powers, blasting thru doors and such.
(if this has been posted recently, sorry, have missed a few posts here)
Any comercial for McDonalds. Here’s a hint…we really don’t love to see you smile. It’s called advertising. After being around that crap for 8 hours, I’m far from smiling, why should I care whether or not you are?
never knew that so much stuff would attack wheat until I moved to Wichita KS (about 20 years ago) and saw them comercials.
anybody else bothered by them “feed the kids” ads? wouldn’t it be cheaper to send birth controll to the adults so they don’t have as many kids in the first place, at least until the (civil war, drought, whatever) is over.
Yeah, I saw one where a side effect was something like “liquid bowel movements and the inability to control them”. Pretty much guarantees right there that I won’t be taking that drug.
OK, I don’t mean to beat a dying thread, but there’s one small part of one commercial that hits my cynical rage button.
First off, let me say that I hate AOL.
In the latest AOL commercial for AOL 6.0, when the woman says “AOL 6.0 is the best AOL ever”, ooooh just give me one slap, just one slap? pleeeeeaze?
Originally posted by Bboy:
You cretin! You had to go and remind me of that earlier Ray Charles torture: “You got the right one baby, uh-huh!” All those back up singers would emerge from nowhere, “Uh-huh! Uh-huh!” ARGHH, indeed. I’m off to soak my brain in gasoline, thanks to you.
Any commercial featuring the business owner and HIS MOM.
There’s a local injury lawyer commercial here in Houston. The “insurance” doctor goes down the row of severely injured patients saying, “Back to work. Back to work.” A guy pipes up, “But doctor, he’s dead!” Doctor says, “Light duty!” It was funny maybe the first 10 times. Now it’s just stupid.
I think the worst side effect I ever heard in a commercial was “headache, nausea, diarrhea, oily discharge…” Oily discharge? Okay…now I’m gonna hurl.
Toll ya so, din’t I…
… frequent, uncontrollable bowel movements, and an urgent need to have them.
Picture Jeff Daniels in ‘Dumb and Dumber’.
Just about every fast food commercial irks me. The one where the four corporate drones are pretending they’re in a Western and calling each other cowboy names(“Zeke!” “Lucky!” “One-eye!”) is especially irritating. And there is something wrong with using “We Will Rock You” to sell burgers. I don’t like Sprite anyway, and having sullen teenagers rapping–badly–isn’t likely to make me run to 7-11 and pick up a case.
Anyone else ready for the Foster Farms chickens to retire? Talk about beating a dead horse, and the one where they try to liposuction each other with an old canister vacuum? DISGUSTING! Anyone who knows what goes on in a chicken processing plant is not going to be fooled by their “fresh/natural” claims anyway. (And who buys chicken by brand? Bizarre!)
How about the Subway ads which, inexplicably, have Gilbert Goddfried and shadow puppets and CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!!
As for an ad that is still stuck in my head 8 years later, but which I kind of liked, anyone recognize “Philadelphia is talking about music in the morning on B 101.1”
GAAAAH! Yes! And for some reason they always show it TWICE IN A ROW!!! What sort of freaky scam is that? “Let’s make it half as long and run it twice, it’ll be like brainwashing!!!”
that post about the drug commericals reminded me of two things. First, those drug commercials where they list the side effects and the effects are the same as what the drug is trying to fix. And also, those commericals for drugs where they tell you the name, but don’t mention WHAT they do!!!
The inane Uncle Ben’s Rice Bowl blurbs. Frozen rice and sauce does not equal good sex. Those people are always steaming during ‘family time’. I can’t let my 4 year old watch Iron Chef anymore.
The thankfully MIA Gap and Target ads with pre-pubescents wearing makeup and lip-synching/air guitaring like “Addicted to Love” mannequins.
hijack!
the commercial i love is the one with the glass repairman who orders the bigass speakers - the black guy does the best dance!
also the ones about people who have trouble controlling their spending - danger kitty and the purse boot… those are GREAT!
also the mountain dew ones they only show during the x games where all the bikers, skaters, and bladers do a little dance type thing in their gold suits… wonderfully coreographed
ALSO the new bennigan’s one where it’s the irish drinking song and he finds $10 in the pocket of his jeans
hijack over
i HATE the commercial for the abslider thing with that jennilee lady… that face gives me nightmares
and the wickes’ furniture commercial (is that just a local thing?) where they get people who are supposed to be famous but so far i can only recognize dorf and fabio
there’s also a radio commercial like “think back to your first crush. you would marry her if you could. you would also feed her chicken without hormones.” right. i’m sure that everyone’s so concerned about that. chicken without hormones my ass.
Bboy, your take on the Ray Charles “samsh’ss” line made me laugh so hard my eyes watered. I’m still laughing about it now. I’m going to remember that one forever. Bless you.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned the Old Navy comercials yet! Old navy! Old navy! Old navy performance fleeze! Ugh someone please shoot all of them 