There is this whole ideal that a succesful life is measured by wealth, titles earned, having a family, etc.
By all means, a person who achieves such things is not living a “normal” life, he/she is the exception. The top of the pie.
On the other extreme, we have people who are born in poverty and have little to no chance to lead a “normal” life.
While it is relatively easy to pin-point a weird lifestyle , it is difficult to define what a “normal” life is. Is living alone “normal”? Is not having a high-school “un-normal”?
The thing is, I find it curious when people are asked about another person and they say “Oh, he lives a normal life.” What does that mean?
So, fellow dopers, what constitutes a normal life to you?
Hm, i was raised in a family that expected an education so I am educated through the university level. I worked before [and most years] after being married. We in the latter half of teh 20th century did not find it unusual for the woman to work before marriage, and in the last 20 years of the 20th century it was not unusual for the wife to work after marriage.
We dont have kids, and it is because of serious health issues, buit we were not pushed into adopting to ‘carry on the family name’ as my brother and cousins all have kids.
We own a house, which in our families is not unusual, though many people come from a lineage of apartment dwellers.
We are both white, protestant, low end of middle class and no major debt other than the mortgage and a single car loan that is due to be paid off in July. No major savings towards retirement, but we do not anticipate an issue as mrAru has a military pension that actually would cover a large portion of the expenses of maintaining the home in retirement with the mortgage paid off [which it will be shortly.]
People would look at us and figure we are pretty normal other than a dislike of televised sports, soap operas, game shows and reality shows…
To me, having a “normal” life means that you have the desire and the ability to contribute to society in your own way. If you’re the academic sort, you should want to learn as much as possible and use that knowledge to teach others or to just make the world a better place. If you’re more mechanically inclined, you should want to fix peoples’ cars or assemble plumbing systems. If you’re filthy rich, you should fund public efforts of great importance to you.
In other words, I pretty much expect people to be productive members of society in some way and to reap the rewards of their work. People who care more about money than about reaching their own internal potential are disturbing to me, as are people who work themselves to death without much to show for it.
Frankly, I’m also baffled by a former boss of mine who worked himself to the bone for the Democratic campaign this summer for a drop in the bucket. Yeah, his salary was something I would consider very comfortable, but he’s a trust-fund baby and he could have worked for free and lived the same lifestyle. I can’t see myself doing that much work if I didn’t have to. I have a hell of a lot of respect for him, though.
I consider myself to have a normal life - now, anyway - and that constitutes having a close family, lots of friends and a decent job that I can tolerate or even like if I’m lucky, and hopefully make enough money at to be able to afford to do the things I want. The stuff I want to do isn’t all that lavish. It mostly involves enjoying myself with my son and my husband, spending time with my mom, sister and the rest of my family and being able to throw the occasional party with my friends. As for stuff I’d like to buy, I make enough that I can get new running shoes mine wear out, clothe myself and my son and am working toward saving enough to be able to handle the household expenses should I or my husband be out of a job. I’d also like to save for my son’s college and our retirement, and that doesn’t allow for a whole lot of crazy spending. Nor have I ever just had to have things that are all that expensive.
I’d like my son to get as much education as I have - I went through my masters and hope to get another one soon, but I wouldn’t consider that “normal,” though it certainly is becoming more common.
Bottom line, I’d say that my normal life means that I keep learning, enjoy the people around me and work to live, not vice versa. What type of house, condo or apartment I live in isn’t all that important to me, though our house is nice and roomy and allows us to avoid stepping all over each other.
For me, a normal life means living happily with my wife and sons, going to and from work each day, doing my best in my job, being involved in our church and community organizations, voting in elections, paying my taxes, keeping in touch with family and friends, respecting others’ rights and expecting them to do the same for me. And if ever it could be said, it can be said about this OP… YMMV.
A “normal” life for a male of my socioeconomic background generally consists of the following:
You grow up in suburb within a few hours of a major city.
You should have a number of close friends and various aquaintances through high school.
You are involved in some high school sports or other clubs and activities.
You should be dating in high school and have lost your virginity well before graduation time.
A lot of high school is spent trying to figure out where you fit on the hood/jock/prep/nerd/freak/burnout wheel.
You spend most of your weekends bored with your friends looking for cheesy keg parties or sneaking a six pack of beer to drink in a parking lot or something.
Upon graduation from high school you go away to college.
You will break up with your high school girlfriend sometime between your senior year of HS and end of first semester of college.
Your alchohol and drug consumption turns up several notches in college. Thurs, Fri and Sat night are spent at house parties, frat parties or in bars / clubs.
By sophomore year you have joined a fraternity or sorority (this is very specific to my particular college and may not be “normal” at your school).
During the summers your work during the day (hopefully internships) and hang out with your high school friends on weekends.
Senior year you start interviewing and get a job in corporate America, preferably in a big city like New York, Boston or Chicago.
You move into a dumpy appartment, probably with either a couple of college buddies or some randoms from Craig’s List.
Most of your 20s is spent similar to your college years, except you have more money now.
A lot of people rent summer beach or winter ski vacation houses with like 20 of their friends.
Most of your friends are probalby old college buddies or work friends.
Maybe you go to grad school.
By your late 20s or early 30s you get married and move to a house in the suburbs.
A few years later you start having kids.
You probably tolerate but don’t love your job, but by now you have advanced pretty far in it.
This is what I would consider “normal” as “typical”. It’s all pretty relative though. One thing that a business school professor told our class was that living in a city and going to bars and clubs and expensive restuarants every weekend is not typical. Also, many people choose to do things that aren’t “normal” because that’s not how they want to live their life. It also doesn’t exclude “exceptional” things like starting a hedge fund and buying a yacht to cruise around the world in.