What could we add to "The Hobbit" to make it FOUR movies?

Since it will be three now, why stop there? I’m sure we could add more non-Tolkien stuff to stretch it to four films.

I’m thinking we add a song and dance number with the dwarves singing “We’re in the Money” at the opening of the third film and a reprise to open the fourth.

What else?

How about 3 hours of the delicate dwarvish courting rituals whereby they determine whether the object of their affection is, in fact, of the opposite gender?

The entire battle of Five Armies is in slow-motion.

The fourth movie is just silent clips from the first three, with Green Day’s “Time of Your Life” playing in a loop for 3.5 hours.

A whole flashback movie where we see what life was like in the Lonely Mountain before the coming of the dragon.

Number three is to be titled, “The Hobbit: The Search For More Money.”


Include all of Tom Bombadils backstory. But he has to sing it all.

Yes, I know that he’s from TLOTR. But Tom was here First, so it fits.

Smaug should be played by Peter Jackson atop a giant pile of cash.

Smug should be Peter Jackson atop a giant pile of cash.

I am Carnivorousplant, and I approve this message. :slight_smile:

At the end of the third movie, when all seems resolved, we see a panoramic shot of a peaceful sky. Then the camera pans down to a close up of the dragon… and his eyes open. The Hobbit IV: Smaug Warning centers around three attractive teenage hobbit couples and their black hobbit friend who go camping on Lonely Mountain for hobbit Spring Break. But something still stirs on Lonely Mountain.

Spoiler alert: the black hobbit doesn’t make it.

Good point, did anyone take care to empty a quiver into his head?

Well after Bard the Bowman comes Bain. After Bain comes Brand. After Brand comes…
After Brand comes? Why u no give more story!?


*The Hobbit V: Night of the Living Dead Haflings.
Zombie Hobbits terrorize a groups of Elves, wandering about crying, “Knees! Knees!”

Sexy results!

Seeeeecond braaaaaainfast!

Maybe a zombie Smaug, too.

The Hobbit VI: Brawn Son of Brand, Zombie Dragon Hunter

A Mel Brooks parody undoubtedly would have a female dwarf as one of the 13, doing her Samus is a Girl routine, with one of the male dwarves panting after her, even tho he doesn’t grasp why (until the reveal).

“Yes, yes,” chortled Gandalf. “That’s the tale as Bilbo remembers it. Now here’s what really happened…”

As the fourth movie, have a theatrical release of the Rankin/Bass version of The Hobbit.