What did I just eat?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I got a bagel this afternoon for lunch. I asked for cream cheese on the side because, if you let the deli-man put cream cheese on a bagel, he’ll use the equivalent of 100 gallons of milk and you have to spend percious lunchtime scraping excess cream cheese off your bagel and your fingers and your desk and the keyboard and. . . well, everything.

The side cream cheese comes in these handy containers. Kinda like regular liquid cream for coffee, only 5 times as big. I’m given two, but only use one. I eat my bagel. It is yummy.

Just now, I glance at the little container that’s left over. The label says: The Bagel Shoppe-- Plain “REAL” Cream Cheese.

So now I’m wondering what my “real” cream cheese really is. It’s better to just not read the labels.

2

I think the word “real” indicates a true dairy product instead of a chemical compound designed to make you glow.

3

Is the REAL the same REAL that’s used to indicate that real dairy products are being used in the described product?

Like this?

4

The label actually read: The Bagel Shoppe-- Plain “REAL” Cream Cheese. The word ‘real’ was in quotes.

You know, like-- yeah it’s real-- nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

5

oooh, I HATE HATE HATE fake cream cheese! I can’t believe that stores that @#$#@ SPECIALIZE in cream cheese sell this crap!

The local bagel shop in my town uses it, too. I can tell, it tastes like plastic. Which is too bad, cuz their bagels rock. I just take 'em home plain and put the real stuff on.