See, why bother waiting for the Second Coming? He’s apparently been around at least two more times already!
Well, he certainly wasn’t Zeppo!
“It’s my considered opinion you’re all a bunch of sissies!”–Paul’s Grandfather
Phil said:
Well, yeah, that covered the first day, but by the third he was getting bored, and got up and started doing things! 
Apples and oranges.
Lets see . . . Jesus was a carpenter. Why don’t his followers practice carpentry? He didn’t wear synthetic clothing, why do modern Christians? He spoke Aramaic, who don’t we?
Christ made a point of saying that Jewish law was not necessary for salvation. He essentially told his followers to abandon the Old Testament Laws and obey his two commandments (love YHWH and love each other). So as folks began practicing Christianity in the first centuries AD, they began to drift away from traditional Hebrew celebrations. Celebrating the Passover is fine, but Jesus kinda trumped that one in the upper room. As an early Christian, which would you rather celebrate? Your ancestors’ ducking an angel of death or a communion with the Living God ™?
As for what he’d celebrate today, probably what he celebrated then. He was a Jew, with a Jewish mother. When your Jewish mother tells you to “sit down and eat your nice matzoh,” you sit, by golly.
Further, IMO he’d be upset and embarrassed by Christmas. IIRC (and I do), there ain’t a thing in the Bible about celebrating Christ’s birth. The whole point to the New Testament was his death. Canya just imagine it? “Merry Christmas, Jesus!” “Er . . . thanks. What the he| | is a Furby??”
And now, just to offend as many people as possible, (to the tune of “It’s a small World”):
“He walked 'round Israel
Preaching peace
He was nice to hookers,
pimps and thieves
When he was crucified
People were quite surprised
He was just a man after all!
(everybody!)
Yeshua ben Miriam
Yeshua ben Miriam
Yeshua ben Miriam
He was cru-ci-fied!”
-andros-
[Note: This message has been edited by David B]
Wally…that’s what Snark’s been telling us.
Damn slashes.
Daaaaviiiiiddd . . . can you please fix that slash in the bit I quoted?
Thanks, Your Amazingness.
I can’t say anything about the other days, but according to Catholic tradition he spend his first January 1 getting circumcised.
Thirty three times…ouch.
Hmm, I think it would be more accurate to say that the whole point to the New Testament (if we must find a single “point”) was His Resurrection.
Dunno about anybody else, but in this household we are aware of the major Jewish holidays (and a couple of the minor ones), and while we do not celebrate them in the same manner that those of the Jewish faith do, we acknowledge them in some way or another. We will tell the story of the liberation of the Jews from Egypt at Passover, and of the courage and victory of the Maccabees at Hanukah. We will discuss the ways that men and women seek God’s forgiveness, and the need for atonement, at Yom Kippur, and we always note the New Year at Rosh Hoshana (sp?).
I guess Tom has it right when he talks about the split of the heretics from the main branch, but I confess that I have never understood why Christians have not and do not honor the Jewish tradition, and the Jewish people, more than they do, and I have never understood the persecution of the Jews. Jesus was a Jew – and Mary a Jewish mother. Our Christian roots are there.
-Melin
David B wrote:
I thought they only pretended to celebrate Jewish holidays, so they could say “See there, Jews? I’m one of you!”
… and then whip out their copy of the New Testament.
Andros noted:
I think it may have been said around here recently, but I’ll say it again.
He was like every other Jewish boy. He thought his mother was a virgin and his father was God.
Tracer – It may depend on the group. I used “Jews for Jesus” generically, but it actually represents one specific group. The more proper generic term is “Messianic Jews.” There are some who still observe the Jewish holidays, but they also worship Christ.
Sorry, Nebuli, just not reading.
Jois.
No problem… a guy who would type
(emphasis added)
is in no position to throw stones
He did attend feasts, and gatherings for worldly purposes.
He did participate in festivities, at times.
He chose not to observe some religious practices of his time, but He did observe some, as well.
I don’t think He would have the same reaction to Christmas as most Americans do. Shopping, spending, buying, and all. It has so little to do with Him, and so much to do with things. Perhaps He would, though, and make it a time of great giving. I doubt He would hold the whole “Mithras/Druid/Holly/Pagan” thing against us, though. He might laugh about it.
Jokes about his crucifixion might hurt His feelings. I know I would find it hard to laugh about it, in His presence. And I am always in His presence. Crucifixion is pretty nasty. I imagine He could tell you a few Jewish Mother jokes, though. Come to think of it, He probably has some really amazing Jewish Father jokes, too.
I think He celebrates Christmas by being with His family, and getting close to those who love Him. I plan to be doing that, myself. I expect Him to be there. I’m looking foreword to it, too. While it probably isn’t His birthday, it is mine. I was born into faith on Christmas day.
<P ALIGN=“CENTER”>Tris</P>
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
–Mohandas Gandhi
I believe it was Peter (?) who had the revelation that it was no longer necessary to keep to Jewish laws, which opened the door for converting Gentiles. As Passover is not a personal history for Gentiles, it’s just not that important. That’s okay, and most Jews I know think that Messianic Jews are an affront to Judaism. But the same people would probably be happy that you remember Jewish holidays like Yom Kippur and Passover. There’s a fine line.
As for the historical lack of respect for Jews, I believe that’s from a verse in one of the Gospels (Matthew? Someone help me) during Jesus’ trial, he condemns the Jews for betraying him. Some people have taken this very seriously.
~Kyla
“You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.”
Actually, Paul led the early church out to proselytize the gentiles. I strongly suspect that Peter’s vision (regarding eating non-kosher foods) is simply the way that Luke put God’s stamp of approval on the direction the church took. (I’m not saying that Peter never had a vision, only that the dynamics of the early church were already moving away from Judaism and Luke mentions the vision to make sure everyone understands that God said it was OK.)
In the passage in Matthew (27:25), the crowd, having called for the release of Barabbas and the death of Jesus cries out “Let his blood be on us and on our children.” This passage does not appear in either Mark or Luke. The usual explanation that I have seen for it is that it was a ritualized saying in connection with the taking of a life. (It has echoes in 2 Samuel 1:16 and 2 Samuel 3:23.) Since Matthew is often considered to have been written “for” a Jewish community, it is not surprising that he may have included that expression. Unfortunately, of course, once Christians became a dominant group and began persecuting Jews, it was a handy phrase to rationalize their behavior.
Tom~
I think Jesus would find pl’s joke funny.Altho I can’t find anything funny He said in the gospels.
Tho if you slip on the ice and hurt your leg again,pl,don’t say I didn’t warn ya! 
Personally, I thought Phil’s joke was funny. (If we Christians can’t take a joke, we’re not taking this ‘turn the other cheek’ thing very far, are we now? )
As far as Jesus being Robin Hood or Karl (but not Zeppo) Marx, listen to the virgin Mary describe God: “He has brought down rulers from their thrones, but lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.” - Luke 1:52-53 (part of the song known as the Magnificat)
And, of course, Jesus was known to say things like “it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God” (Mark 10:25; parallels in Matthew and Luke).
He probably just had a little bread, a few cups of wine, and slipped away with Mary M.
~bb~