Because I’ve been wanting to do some King-fu fighting. Seriously, I have no clue what to even ask here. I’d like some sort of non-handgun option for home/self defense that can be practiced by my family & me. Kung-fu, Karate, Eskima…whatever. What do I look for to make sure I’m actually getting some proper training and not just someone kicking the shit out of my wallet?
The first question you ask is “Do you have Real Ultimate Power?”
Seriously though, it depends. I’d say for you, for generalized self-defense, it matters much more about the teacher and the quality of the dojo than on a particular style. How do you tell if the teacher is well-qualified? I’m not totally sure, but checking his/her qualifications and sitting on a few classes is a start.
As for styles, I do shotokan karate. It’s a striking art that is good for self-defense, but I would recommend also trying out a style that focuses on grappling and joint-locks, as many many fights/encounters are in close-range and not suited to kicking or punching. I’m thinking Judo or Aikido for that.
I’m sure more qualified people will come along soon to help answer your question in more detail 
Look for many styles being loaded into your brain at one time through an ultra sophisticated device fed through your brain…
ala
…do you think that is air you are breathing???hmmmm…
No real info for you Inigo - sorry.
In my opinion if your mind is not set on kung fu, as for styles krav maga is the best for realistic self defense. it might be hard finding a teacher for that
What’s the matter? Is your Agrippa not good enough for you? 
If the dojo can promise you a quick black belt, then it’s probably not the best place to learn a “real” martial art. Also, if the Chinese Kung Fu place has a bunch of ninja motif.
I’ve actually studied several styles through the years. If your main focus is self-defense, you really need a jujitsu style (Gracie if possible) or better, MMA training. These are becoming more common these days given the popularity of the UFC.
A good teacher, that is. Krav has become quite the commercialized commodity here in the States. You can be certified to teach Krav after attending a 2 day seminar.
Inigo, what is your body style? If you are looking for a hand-to-hand system for self defense (And self defense alone) that will help you pick what to look for.
If you are looking spefically for a Kung Fu school, check your local phone book. Go to the school listed, ask if you could watch a few class sessions. If they try to press you to sign up, that’s bad. You don’t want to go anywhere they are pressuring you.
Contracts are also bad, but hard to avoid… after all, it’s someone’s bread and butter too.
If you want to dabble, you may want to check out your local park and rec district. I know many of them will have a Martial Arts class, taught by the same guy teaching in a dojo (or dojang, depending) downtown, but much much cheaper.
(personal plug for Kuk Sool Won here. )
Call ADP. I can’t foresee anything good coming out of a kung fu family militia.
Funny, this came up because I was chatting with someone who wanted to get her ADP system hooked up. She is afraid of her ex getting tired of being arrested for violating his restraining order and eliminating the need for it once and for all. Her options as she saw them were: ADP and a handgun or taser (she has little kids and is uneasy about having a gun around–but that discussion’s a whole 'nother thread). My thought was “Yes, as long as the ADP connects directly to the police station so they know where to send the coroner.” And gun/taser/9-iron option sounds cool until the intruder snatches it from your hand.
I was always told that running was the best art for self-defense, followed immediately by awareness and confidence.
If you want something for actual self defense, forget about any ‘traditional’ martial art. They’re fun, they’ll (hopefully!) teach you how to throw and take a punch, they’ll get/keep you in shape, but if you get jumped, it’s not going to be much help.
IMO, if there’s a good Krav Maga school in your area, that’s probably your best bet. Ask where the teacher has trained, for how long, and with who. Google them. Be wary of really hard sells. If they don’t let you watch a class and take a class for free, ask yourself why. Be wary of contracts. If you do sign one, don’t sign it right away, obviously, sleep on it.
If Krav Maga isn’t an option, something like jujitsu is probably the next best bet. Most fights aren’t going to give you the option to stand at a comfortable distance and trade blows; you’re going to end up clinched and probably on the ground. Learning how to wrestle wouldn’t hurt.
(Please not I’m not saying TMAs are in any way worthless. I love several of them myself, but if you think that they’re ideal for self defense, you’re wrong.)
Large, castle like structures.
People whose lip movements don’t match the words being spoken.
Lots of Tiger and Dragon tatoos, preferably on opposite forearms.
Lots and lots of Chinese guys.
Wise, bald old men who speak in riddles.
Nasty, ill tempered instructors who beat you into being tougher.
Long posts you have to stand on top of, balancing clay jugs.
Periodic invasions by other kung fu schools trying to prove that their kung fu is better. Or to avenge some perceived slight.
Wierd chinese music or flute melodies that come from nowhere.
You forgot to tell him to look for how many Bruce Lee imitators there are in each class.
A good school will let you sit in on at least one class, probably more. If they won’t let you watch at least one class, move on.
Next, figure out the scheduling: how frequently and when do you want to attend class? Some schools just won’t fit your schedule. If you’re serious, you want to go at least three times a week. Also, do they allow kids in classes at convenient times?
Watch a class or two. Are classes huge or small? How much personal attention does each student get during class? Does every class have the same structure, or do they mix it up? What is the ratio of things you’re interested in to things you’re not? Maybe the class does too much cardio, or strength training, or bowing, or whatever isn’t your cup of tea.
Talk to students. Ask them how long they’ve attended that school. A school with few senior members is a bad sign (unless it’s brand new). Ask them if they’ve trained elsewhere, and what they like about this school.
Talk to the instructor. How many instructors are there total? How long have they each been teaching? What are their backgrounds? Do they always teach class or do students sometimes teach? Is there a ranking system? If so, ascertain how long it takes to attain each rank. The longer the better. Five to ten years before the top belt–or no ranking at all–is a good sign. What is the nature of the testing system?
As for which styles are best for self-defense, it’s obviously open to some debate. Generally, if you’re not learning to jam your fingers into people’s eyes, you’re not learning the best self-defense. Krav Maga is well-regarded, as are any number of similar mixed styles. Most serious self-defense styles aren’t going to train kids though (I don’t know how young your kids are). But that’s ok. In truth, the biggest advantages to your self-defense skills come not from the style you choose, but the ancillary benefits of training such as fitness, confidence, awareness, and the readiness that comes with having practiced punching someone in the throat 10,000 times. After all, if all you were interested in was self-defense, you’d buy a taser.
I’ve trained in both a very traditional kung fu style and a very applied wing chun style. I say style, but the sifu in this latter class wasn’t too bothered about forms and patterns - we just got straight down to the fine and practical art of ass-kicking from the get go.
Both were very good, I guess you could in theory have a class that combined the best of both worlds but I suspect this would be very difficult to achieve in practice. If you do want to take Kung Fu then I think traditional has to be the way to go. Kung fu is a special martial art because of its deep heritage and history - if you take a class were this is not really emphasised then you may as well be taking any applied martial art, you’d be losing the point of studying kung fu in the first place.
It is possible to become a seriously bad man through a traditional kung fu class, it will just take years of study and training. It really is an extremely difficult thing to learn, I got the impression that I could train every day for years and still be miles away from mastering the art. You’re aiming to have the mental and physical strength that confers total control over how your body moves. And some people are just better at movement than others.
A blind dude who refers to you as Grasshopper
Games involving you snatching stones from his hand, which for some reason you will be unable to do.
Big metal pots full of burning material with dragons in relief on the side.
Huge sheets of ricepaper laid on the floor.
IME, one of the big, bad warning signs is lots of young kids running around with black belts or whatever the equivalent of a black belt would be in that style. This inevitably means that the school is a “black belt mill” where the kids get promoted every time they test. Such schools also inevitably charge testing fees. Thus, there is incentive all around for frequent testing. The kids want rank, the owners of the school want to fill their wallets with testing fees. In that environment, genuine instruction takes a back seat to revenue enhancement.
Before anybody jumps on me about *their * kid the martial arts expert, I acknowledge that there are some 10 year old kids out there who can demonstrate genuine expertise. A randomly chosen school might believably have one, perhaps two, such kids. Whole classes full of them? I don’t think so.
I’ll second Waverly. If someone is in your house you won’t have enough time to intimidate or overpower them with your skill in martial arts. Find something that either keeps them out or makes them want to leave. Get involved in a martial art for self discipline or for the fun of it.
Please explain.
I have a philosophy about concealed weapons: Nobody knows you’ve got one until they’re dying. Brandishing/intimidating is not something I’m interested in–only not being prey. I can take what measuers I like to keep intruders out of the house but 1) break-in is still a possibility 2) I’m not IN my house 24/7 and 3) Hi Opal!.
Learning how to take care of business with the equipment I always have with me–my paws–just makes sense to me. Am I not thinking about this in the right way?
Ok, but it’s going to take a few hundred words.
The one time that I thought that there was someone in my house, it took me about five seconds to charge through the house roaring my head off. If someone had been in the house, the altercation would have been over (one way or another) in another five seconds or less.
Most break-ins are done by addicts who don’t want a confrontation. If they were too stupid to run off, then I could probably just drive them off. IMHO, my run blocking training from football would be more relevant than any mat work or knowlege of throws and pressure points. If someone was armed, then no reasonable amount of training would have made my bare hands and feet a close match. But the only reason to be armed when breaking into a house would be if the possible gains of breaking in outweighed the risk of injury, death and/or being charged with a far more serious offense.
Also, my experiences with having to deal with bikers and skinheads when I was younger strngthened my belief that potential violence engenders real violence. A woman acquaintance back then pointed out that the women who carried knives into biker clubs were far more likely to get into trouble than the women who just stayed aware of their surroundings, and I think that the lesson applies in the general sense as well.
Martial arts are fun; my wife and children were involved in karate for years. Personally, I like the ideas expressed in Aikido, of helping an adversary avoid a violent act. My favorite “fight” was when the baddest skinhead in town rushed me and we ended up having a short conversation. That doesn’t do anything to protect the home. I rely on 911 for that, though ADP is good as well.
Funky China Men from Funky China Town
Those cats must be fast as lightning
Must exhibit expert timing
Should be somewhat frightening