What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg standing by a wall?
Ilene.
HAH!
I don’t speak the correct dialect for this one, but for some reason it just about killed me anyway.
How do you get a drummer off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a pasture full of masturbating cattle?
Beef stroganoff.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a boil on an Aggie’s ass?
A brain tumor.
What do you call a blonde with a Ph.D?
Doctor.
How many emo kids does it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Sorry, my friend shared that with me this morning and I thought I’d pass it along. Sorry to the emo’s…I really do love you…honest 
Since we seem to have veered from the strict definition of ‘what do you call’ jokes, I will respond in the spirit:
What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work?
Drops him off at band practice.
(From my jazz-musician brother and his friends):
Define an optimist:
A trombone player who carries a beeper (DAMN, that’s an old joke)
What’s the difference between a trombone player and a frog walking down the street?
The frog might be on his way to a gig.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a lion’s den?
Claude
How do you tell when there is Soprano at your door?
She doesn’t know where to come in, and she hasn’t got the key.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a lion’s den with three lions?
Emil
What do you call an olympic swimmer with no arms and no legs?
Clever dick
What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his ass?
Warren.
About 20 years ago there was quite a craze for these no-arms-no-legs jokes. At the time they were called “Bob jokes,” and you could buy a paperback book full of them.
(no arms, no legs, and wired for sound: Mike…no arms, no legs, and forced fed cabbage: Gale…no arms, one leg, and Japanese: Irene)
I don’t get this one. In that spirit, here’s one you may not get:
What do you call two Pilipino pilots? A pair of pliers.
What do you call 100,000 men with their hands in the air?
The French Army.
Hint: Here’s a dog cake.
What do you call those liquid-filled glass things that “snow” when shaken?
.
.
.
“Shake-'em-ups.”
A Man w/ no legs waterskiing: Skip
:rolleyes: Ow, the groaning, it is painful.
What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
Stu