I’m interested in hearing about people’s personal experience with it (as much information as you’d be comfortable sharing). I’ve heard it mentioned in general terms, but what generally goes on in these sessions? Talking about the seven stages of grief and the memories of the person? Obviously, at the end of the day, there’s no undoing the loss or erasing the pain. I do understand the need for people to talk about their loss with someone, but don’t quite grasp what a professional would be uniquely qualified to help with in this sort of situation. Just to be clear, this thread isn’t meant to criticize the practice.
I attended a couple of grief counseling sessions in conjunction with a neighborhood church a few months after my mother passed. The sessions were run by a local psychologist who holds similar sessions at other churches in the area.
There were a lot of handouts – the “Seven Stages Of Grief”, a weekly journal to track your moods (I found that very helpful – grief, especially in the early stages, can manifest itself in many ways), and a weekly assignment that you could share with the group at the next session if you wished. One assignment was to find a photo of your LO [loved one] that exemplified him of her as you remember and write why. Some people came to the next session with multiple pages. Another was to bring a small object beloved by your LO and tell the story behind it. Participation was optional – I’d say about half the group shared their stories while others were content to listen. I found all this helpful in that we’re so conditioned to push away the grief that, when it bites us in the ass, we tend to be ill-equipped to handle it. The exercises taught us to become comfortable with the notion that yes, you’ve suffered a loss, you need to take the time to experience its nuances no matter how ugly and learn how to honor it and integrate it into your present life.
It’s not a linear process. Nothing ever is. The psychologist always stressed this.
What I didn’t like? Our group was huge, something like 25-30 people. There simply was never enough time each session for everyone who wanted to participate. I also learned the ugly truth about “wailers”, those souls who attend every single session at every single area church and keep repeating the same stories with the same tears as though on cue.
I don’t know anything about individual grief counseling. If I could have afforded it though, I probably would have looked into it. I imagine it’s probably a more enhanced version of what we did in the group.
I happened to be in therapy for other things when my aunt died and my therapist helped me deal with the anger I felt, which I had not recognized. I think that’s one of the stages. She also gave me books to read. I think the process helped me recognize the things that were a “normal” part of grieving, and got me through it a little easier.
Thanks for sharing a bit about your experiences.