I’m a design engineer.
I typically take a CAD model of something, spin it around, do some rapid zooming in and out, turn on wireframe so it makes it look like the Death Star plans if person A walks by, then turn on various hideously colored shaders so it looks like a circus pavilion if person B walks by…it’s even more fun than turning on mouse-trails and wiggling your mouse around.
Somehow out of all of this, a new airplane gets built.
I try to make sure those people who have spent $85 to go and get seasick while carrying a camera they don’t know how to use, with which they wouldn’t get memorable pictures even if they did, don’t spend their whole day wondering what those little fountains all over the ocean are and why they didn’t see any mammals.
I occasionally try to convince boat captains not to run over said mammals.
I also help smaller, more devious and intractable mammals learn various things about the world around them. I try to keep myself from dancing with joy and shouting to the sky when there is evidence of critical thinking or original thinking. I have not seen both at the same time yet, so I don’t know what will happen if I do - I imagine it will look something like the side effects of propane- or hydrogen-filled balloons - but I doubt I will survive the event in any case.
I have been known to act out elaborate fantasy worlds in which pinnipeds are the secret masters of the Earth and demand cleaning, feeding, and medical care from their human servants, but that’s only on the rare weekend.
You’re Beatrice Potter? but she’s been dead for a long time!
:eek:
Well, NOW I want to slit my wrists. 
:eek: 
Seriously, you have given me some much needed food for thought. I look back at college as carefree (in a sense), but there was a limbo like quality to it that I tend to discount. So, thank you for helping me see that my getting up every day and getting the kids off to school, working and running errands is not hollow.
PS- I doubt your life will stay hollow for long. If you are still troubled by all this, I would go to the campus counselling service.
Funny but mostly irrelevent aside: I used to work with a guy who was, in a previous job, an applications engineer for PTC, the company that makes Pro/ENGINEER (a major 3D parametric CADD package). Once a customer had lost some work due to file corruption; however, Pro/E maintains what is called a “trail file”, which essentially records all commands and mouse movements, including spinning and pan/zoom actions. So they ran the trail file on this customer’s work; for the first twenty minutes or so (which probably corresponded to a few hours of actual work time) the trail file did nothing but pan, zoom, spin, and shade/wireframe the model.
It just goes to show that you can’t hide your baldness from your barber.
Stranger
That depends. Will he be travelling by boat?
I try to find engaging activities for sometimes surly, and sometimes dumb, teenagers to do that will increase the school’s chemistry state test scores. Mind you, none of the state questions will be about critical thinking about labs, so that kind of gets left at the gate. And yeah, some of the teenagers will pay 10% attention with their 90 IQ and then get all resentful right at the last minute that they don’t understand the material. It’s my fault, because it can’t be, you know, theirs.
I teach delightful if neurotic Hong Kong children about grammar (which they hate), literature (which they like) and movies (which they go apeshit for).
Well I am in the Army, much like SGT Schwarz. As we are in the Army and deployed we do a number of things. However, I will concentrate on my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) of 27D Paralegal Specialist.
My job can consist of many many different things. Usually my main concern is criminal law type stuff and Nonjudicial punishment. For those of you unfamiliar with the Military Justice System there are many ways to punish those that do not follow the rules. One way is NJP. You can get reduced, fined, extra duty or restricted. I prepare the NJP and the court-martial packets as well as separation packets for those who will be discharged for a number of criminal as well as administrative reasons. I also assist the command in anything criminal law.
I also conduct a modest amount of legal assistance to wit: helping preparing wills, powers of attorney, strongly worded letters to companies and individuals, divorce stuff, immigration and what not.
I also help advice the command of the law of land warfare and the rules of engagement. This can be very interesting at times.
I also deal with detainees, i.e. inspecting the packets, reviewing the facilities and helping ensure their rights are not compromised.
Last time I was deployed I dealt with foreign claims due to the government’s negligence and local judicial operations. This allowed me the opportunity to devise an Anticorruption committee for the northern part of Iraq. I really do not do much of this kind of stuff anymore so I will not elaborate.
I thoroughly enjoy my job; however, I do not enjoy the military life. I know I signed up for it therefore can not complain. =)
I poke sharp things into people.
I realize that I am unloved because of this; thus, I try to make the experience as humerous and lighthearted as possible.
When I am not poking needles into people, I answer the phone and take requests from people to pick up bodily fluids other than blood. And answer questions from nurses about why my coworkers have not poked sharp things into people in a timely manner. And various other troubleshooting (as in, “Wow, you thought you ordered that now but you really ordered it for four hours from now. Computers sure do suck.”)
And I try to convince people that bacteria really do grow at their own pace, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.
And when I’m not doing those things, I go to school to try to get to be the person that gets to tell people to poke sharp things into other people in the first place.
If you ever figure out how to do this, you’ll be sure to post a nice thread about it, right? With a snappy title that we will all see, right? Right? Please?
I provide responses to inquiries about any number of topics. Just the other day, I found statistical information for the number of people living below the poverty level in 1984. A couple of days before that, I located online government published brochures about STDs for another student doing research.
I provide a wealth of valuable instruction about how to use our facilities, our online resources and how to evaluate web sites.
I purchase books, I liaise with faculty. My days are full.
I really have two jobs. The fun one is:
Teaching people to think about physics.
Not in a classroom – through practical application.
I drive a 105,000 pound super tanker filled with 9,150 Gallons of used oil on the same roads as other people driving 1500 pound cars with a cell phone up to their ear and 3 unrestrained but otherwise innocent kids in the back seat.
Example: the space that I leave in front of my truck is there for me to stop in. It is not there for you to drive in. Don’t believe me? Hit your brakes or blow out a tire. Just see if I can safely bring this rig to a stop in the 60 feet you left when you changed lanes in front of me. Go on! Dare ya!*
See? Practical application of physics.
The other side of my job is working to protect the environment by actually doing something positive (as opposed to just filing lawsuits). I pick up used oil and antifreeze, pump it into rail cars and ship it off so that it can be recycled. This is so companies and people don’t feel a need to take it out and dump it in the sage brush. (If you are a ‘Do-It-Yourselfer’, please dispose of used oil and antifreeze properly – it is an infinitely recyclable product.)
Lucy
*Note: I will. It. will. not. be. easy. But I will get the thing stopped. I am a Profession Driver. No one dies under the wheels of my rig. Even if I have to die trying to prevent it.
I help a small group of people help a much larger group of people to feel good about their choice of wireless provider.
I’m a cheerleader, disciplinarian and all round information resource/professional explainer.
I’m pretty much always an ephemeral artist specializing in mood and comfort.
To my pets I am the Goddess of the Opposable Thumbs Who Can Work The Can Opener and Gates. Although the youngest cat is working on several of these skills himself, no doubt in pursuit of world kitty domination. I suggest you all get ready to welcome your furry, madcap orange devil overlord!
I’m an unofficial life coach operating in supermarket aisles and coffee shops.
I cut large pieces of wood into smaller pieces of wood, then make various pieces of wood look pretty so that people with too much money might have nice, organized places to store their turtleneck sweaters and linens.