She’s retired now, and wasn’t a librarian otherwise I’d wonder if you were working with my mom. As far back as I can remember she always had a work “enemy”. Completely irrational. I only bring it up as a way of saying that it’s entirely possible that D just has that same quirk. The fact that you did make a mistake makes it seem like on some level as if you deserve it, which from what you described, you really don’t.
First, Zsofia, you’re not the first person ever to screw up or be badmouthed by a colleague. Second, you’re not the first person ever to be badmouthed by this colleague. Third, you’re not even the first person ever to be badmouthed by this colleague at this job.
You screwed up. You fixed the screw up, and you are continuing to improve your professional behavior. That’s a class act. D, for whatever her previous professional history, is proving that she cannot behave professionally. What’s more, she can’t manage to behave professionally over something that was apologized for, fixed, and improved.
The other colleagues know this, even if it’s just on a subconscious level. Anyone new may fall for it for a little while, but then they’ll get stung by D as well.
If you really want to gird your loins for a fight, make it clear to D that her behavior is unacceptable and that if you catch her badmouthing you or behaving in such an unprofessional manner again, you will report her for it. Then follow through. However, to pull that off, you need to have shown your boss that you are beyond reproach - purer than Caesar’s wife is the saying, I believe.
Good luck.
The main problem I see with this advice, other than being a nice fantasy, is: What is she going to do? “Nothing compared to what’s coming”? What is that, exactly? Put sugar in her gas tank? She may feel powerless because she IS in a position of little power. Put your nose to grindstone, grin and bear it, let your work speak for itself, and all the other cliches is pretty much my advice. Unless the well is truly poisoned – and only Zsofia can determine that – people will eventually realize that she’s actually a pretty good employee.
Sorry, that’s all I got. No magic answer. And I do honestly feel for you. My wife has been in exactly your position and it was absolutely no fun.
I was in a situation similar to this one. A coworker decided I wasn’t fit for the job, and she made it her job to tell everyone about it. I’d find out second-hand that she was complaining about something I did or did not do. She would question my judgement and lord her seniority over me all the time. She would tell people that she was going to complain to my boss if I didn’t improve. But the thing was, no one else thought I was doing a bad job. No one else had any complaints.
Finally, I had had enough. After spending a night crying in bed about this evil woman who had it in for me, I decided I would confront her. I told her the behind-the-back shit must stop. That if she had problems with me, that she needed to tell them to my face, not be a punk and whine about it to her friends. I apologized for any mistakes I’d made, but I made it clear that I was pissed at her and I was prepared to go to the boss if she didn’t shut that flapping yap of hers. And for the most part, she did.
You can’t make her like or respect you. You can’t control her bad thoughts about you. And you can’t even make her stop talking bad about you behind your back. But you can ask her to stop. Everyone knows backtalking is unprofessional and catty, and it’s also one of those things a person can’t easily deny doing if they’re the least bit guilty. Say, “You know what, D? I know you don’t respect me very much as a librarian and this is real unfortunate, but I’d appreciate if you’d be professional and not badmouth me behind my back. Because the walls have ears.” If she can’t honor this simple request, then I would seriously consider 1) seeking alternative employment or 2) registering a complaint with the boss.
In the meantime, kill her with kindness. Be a great coworker and try to be upbeat. As posters have already said, people can tell the difference between Justifiably Pissed Coworker and one who’s grinding an ax for no good reason.
Go to work everyday and do your very best at the job you love.
Turn a deaf ear to all the rest (think Chinese inscrutability). Say not a word about it, if asked just shrug.
Every night when you crawl into bed remind yourself that you did your best today. You brought your best game. Remind yourself it may never prove enough for the rest of the world. But it only really matters that it is enough for you. Decide it is enough for you.
If you do this little exercise for ten straight evenings, I promise you, the smile on your face will be genuine when you go into work. And D won’t own any of your brain real estate. You will see the entire thing through very new eyes. And you will understand what you can’t see right now. Which is: everyone already knows you’re not a bad librarian and that D’s a horse’s ass.
Good Luck to you my friend!
I had one of these at my last job, ironically her name was actually Dee. There were always one or two people she was badmouthing, usually those with the least amount of pull in the organization. I feigned interest in the office gossip until I realized one day, she was probably badmouthing me too! :eek:
Yup, she was. We never had any direct confrontations like you had, but as she was direct superior it made for a lot of uncomfortable days at work. I just did my best and covered my ass at all times, and once I’d won over some people with more pull than she had, she left.
Oh yeah, she had gotten my predecessor fired and had been angling to get me fired too, but luckily my new supervisor (after they restructured the organization) wasn’t having any of it. So she left in frustration, she didn’t like me so much but there was no way to get rid of me.
I hear she came back after I left.
So maybe, if you do our best and show everyone that you’re good at your job, she’ll get pissed and go elsewhere, too. Or at least, it’s a nice fantasy to have, baking a pie to celebrate her going away. 
Absolutely yes. Everyone screws up from time to time. The trick is to not only show that you’ve learned your lesson and are better for it but also get your management to recognise it. And you’ll have a great story for when you interview for your next job.
Two things.
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Has it been long enough to demonstrate to your boss that you are back on target work-wise?
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Do you have a Human Resources department?
Once #1 is satisfied, if it’s not already, have a meeting one-on-one with your boss and talk about it. Then you will know that you’re in a good position.
If #2 is true, and it should be, go talk to them. They’re not just there for hiring and benefits. If you’re in a hostile workplace, and it sounds like you are, they can help to do something about it.
Something like that happened to me once, at my second job ever, and I wandered into HR because I didn’t know where else to go. When I burst in to tears they started listening. And they did something about it.
Now I work at a large government agency, and it’s amazing both how hostile things can get and what they are willing to do to change it. Anger management, mediation, all kinds of things.
If you don’t have an HR department, there should be someone with those responsibilities. I’m not sure how to handle it, but I bet another doper does.
Majorly seconded. Just talking about what’s stressing you can ease the pressure a lot. A few years back I got promoted to my current position, deputy store manager in a supermarket chain. This also meant moving to another store. My first six months were horrendous. I couldn’t do a thing right, I didn’t know any of the other staff, and I felt an isolated failure.
Finally my cock-ups became too big, and I ended up having a formal disciplinary, with my area management, issued. When my boss notified my of this, she also sat me down and talked through everything that I had done, and asked my what was going wrong / where do we go from here.
As we talked about things, it was like a dam burst inside of me. The relief was so great, I actually cried there and then. And it felt good.
I still cock up at times, everyone does. Now though I’m friends with my boss, and I know that yes I’ll get a bollocking but not to let it get to me Just try to do better next time.
So talk to your manager/department head, whatever. You can *tell * them not to take any action and, if they’re decent at their job, they’ll go along with you. But share the load, it’s a lot easier than chucking a job you *do * enjoy.
Here’s hoping things lighten up for you.
I want to third (or whatever) the meeting with your boss to go over how you’re meeting your new goals.
When you leave that meeting, after you’ve established that you ARE meeting the goals, and after you’ve established that you ARE doing your job correctly, ask a few people from the job our to lunch to celebrate. They’ll ask what you’re celebrating. You’ll say you’ve gotten great feedback from Boss and things are going great.
You’ll be advertising your competence, and that will make you feel great and give your coworkers a different story.
Great idea!
It is a common misconception that HR is supposed to handle this type of stuff. HR’s job is primarily to advise management. Employees not working well together is handled by first line management. If management needs to develop the skills to do this, or if management thinks the situation may be getting into illegal discrimination territory, HR can advise management about those topics.
Just being catty to someone because you don’t like them or their performance is not what is meant by “hostile work environment” in an HR context. That means being hostile to someone **because of ** their race, sex, disability or other protected characteristic. No legal problems with just plain mean, until it reaches the level of assault or threats, where the police should be involved.
Nasty coworker’s behavior is probably bad for productivity and should be stopped, but it’s at a level for the manager/supervisor to handle without HR. I can almost guarantee that if the OP takes this to HR, the first words out of the HR person’s mouth will be “Have you talked to your manager?”
I think jsgoddess has the best suggestion so far.
Also, while you’re taking the high road (as I think you must in this situation), think to yourself that there are few things D’s sort of person despise more than being risen above. For whatever reason, it seems pretty clear from what you’ve told us that she’s decided to make you miserable. When someone is making that attempt, very few things are more aggravating than to appear to have failed.
Zen-like calm is actually the best revenge in some situations 
You’ll have to wait until some sort of misfortune befalls her, but I would bring the Schadenfreude Pie.
Awesome link, Risha. Plus also, it has this hilarious comment which makes me want to seek out whatever happened:
Well, today I went to my boss and said I wanted to reevaluate, since it’s been about a month, and make sure I was reaching expectations. She asked if I’d caught up on everything, and I told her about my progress, and she said okay. She seemed sincere. I didn’t mention D, 'cause, fuck D. D can die in a fire and choke on it.