What do you do when some bully tries to force their way into your lane?

The BBQ Pit
1

So I was picking my sister and her friend up from high school while there was a road closure due to construction. People who need to go through that street have to take a detour around that section of the road using a newly built stretch of asphalt on the side. This creates traffic congestion on the busy part of the road as people who normally go straight now have to make a right turn with the rest of us right-turners onto a road that has a 4 way stop right after the intersection. The detour is off one of the stop signs. It doesn’t help that people needing to take this route are merging last minute into the right lane from the middle lane which is supposed to be for merging LEFT into the straight through lane in normal circumstances. Traffic this time was especially congested as the high school on this street was letting out.

I merged in to the right lane as soon as I saw the congestion up ahead, but people insisted on driving all the way up to the end of the middle lane to merge right. Now I’m all for using up all lanes in heavy traffic and zipper merging, but 1. this lane, once again, is for merging left and they were blocking people in that lane who wanted to make left turns and 2. traffic wasn’t backed up very far when I moved to the right, so most of them could have easily gotten in the back of the line; instead they congested both the right and middle lanes even more by sitting there and waiting for a space at the front or just swerving in. Soon afterwards there was no choice but to start zipping, but no one in this case did it the right way and it became a huge clusterfuck as people in the middle were still having to sit there begging to be let in or just aggressively moving in.

At first, I had every intention of blocking these late mergers out, but once the middle lane became so congested that Vicks couldn’t fix it, I realized it was time to start taking turns. Here is a video of the incident I’m about to describe: - YouTube (the events I’ll be describing start at 2:18, but you can watch from the beginning if you want to see what I just talked about + more assholes)

When the Silverado pulled up next to the Ram in front of me, a BMW X5 was just behind him alongside me. I left a gap open when traffic started moving to let the Silverado in. As this was happening, I noticed the BMW getting closer to my side when we moved. It didn’t take me long to figure out what he was up to. At this point I wanted to move in closer (you’ll notice I did just a bit), but I wanted to make it obvious to the Silverado driver that they were invited to move in. I was practically begging the driver to just move in already so I could slam the door shut and even gave them a quick flash of the brights to signal that they were good to go. I figure it should have been obvious anyway by the gap I was leaving; I hate hesitant drivers :smack:.

The asshole continued to slant closer and closer as we moved along and eventually you see his bumper come into view just as the Silverado finally moves in. I immediately shut the door. You would think he would get the hint by now that he was not invited. Every time traffic in front of us moved, he would beat me to it and inch his bumper in front of mine. At some point, I could not keep the door shut and had no choice but to stay off the gas and “let” the jerk in. I love how he never signaled too. I just threw my hand up in frustration. About a minute later, I had the bright idea to turn on my brights and leave them on so he could enjoy the pretty lights in his rear view mirror. It was my little way of getting “revenge”. I did turn them off as we passed the backed up oncoming traffic and then turned them back on again.

Note how much of a crap driver he is afterwards. I don’t think staying put after the car in front of you leaves the stop sign counts as stopping at the stop sign. The bike lane is only for bicycles, no? Did you get your driver’s license at Disneyland? :confused:

If and/or when this happens/ed to you, what would you have or have you done?
A. Do what I did and let them slide in front of you to avoid a collision or because you’re more passive like me
A2. A + exact some form of revenge after they manage to bully their way in
B. Keep them out at all costs and even move off to the side if you have to (wish I had done this) because there is no way in hell that’s happening
C. Something else

2

Be the bigger man. No revenge. Yes, the merger was being an ass but c’mon, in the grand scheme of things, what do you lose by letting him in? It’s one moment in a life full of moments. He wants to live his life being an ass, that’s his issue. You aren’t going to train the asses of the world to all of a sudden be better people. Pretty weak pitting. Boo freaking hoo, some driver was mean to me.

3

I guess my answer is A-ish. I just let them in.

This is neither a lecture or tsk-tsking, but I try to think of all the other traffic as just cars. Not people, him, her, etc. But just a bunch of mechanical objects that move around with me. Sometimes one of them does something unexpected or incorrect and I manipulate the controls of mine to account for it… then resume listening to my audio book.

I’m really not trying to come off as smartass; but assholish behavior is not worthy of my regard so I ignore it and continue about my business. My kids call me the ‘zen’ driver. :slight_smile:

4

The only reasonable, adult option would have been to floor it, bash into his right front fender, then when he got out to inspect the damage, cap his ass with the handgun you keep under your seat (I mean, you do have one of those, right)?

I’m surprised you even have to ask this question.

Well, I suppose you could just let him go, but then you’d have to live forever with the knowledge that a) this guy will continue to get away with his bad behavior, cutting off helpless grannies all willie-nillie and without a thought, and b) you will stand revealed to the entire membership of an Internet message board as a namby-pamby girly-man who can’t or won’t stand up for his traffic rights.

Faced with such a stark reality, I think the choice is clear.

5

Wow.

Why are you letting this person take up so much space in your head? Do you plot revenge on people who bring 13 items to the Express Lane at the grocery store as well?

Let it go and use your energy for things which matter.

6

You need new brake pads.

7

This. What does it hurt you to let him in? 30 seconds of your time? Probably took you longer than that to type out the Pitting.

Also, use all lanes before a merge in zipper in. Don’t get into the lane WAY back and then complain about people going to the front and then merging in. There is a backup because people like you don’t let people merge.

8

Around here, nose 1 inch in front is enough: the merge rule is that the front car has right of way.

I partially restrain my rage and frustration by remembering that perhaps that person is just really in a hurry today – certainly I’d let them cut in if it felt important to them, and perhaps it is.

In the exact situation you describe, I would also be amused by the impatience and incompetence of the other driver – all that effort just to get one car in front?

9

I don’t want to play chicken with heavy machinery and I don’t want to get into a dick-waving contest with a bully. I nearly always let them just go ahead of me. The fact they’re often bad drivers means once in awhile, driving along after them, I see them arrive first at an accident scene.

Ditto for assholes who ride my bumper flashing lights trying to get me to speed up. Go around me. My sense of manhood will not be offended because I don’t have one.

10

I would note, manson1972, that they did let the Silverado in–which at least where I have lived, is SOP; let one merge, you go, then the guy behind you lets’ the next one merge. The OP was complaining about the rudeness in breaking the’unwritten rules of the road."

That said, I would have muttered a few choice syllables and got on with my life. Flashing bright lights at an asshole can get you shot in this day and age.

I’m always amused at those folks who desperately dash aways from lights or squeeze in to get that one car lenght ahead…and whom I inevitably end of sitting next to at the next light. Karma.

11

My fantasy is to smash into them, punch them in the face, then slash at least two of their tires so they have to get a tow, then drive away, because I believe there should be consequences for being an asshole.

My second, more reasonable fantasy is to somehow be able to talk to them in the middle of traffic and ask them if they just shove their way into the front of the line when they’re at the supermarket or movie theater, or anywhere else there’s a line when they don’t have the protection and relative anonymity of their car surrounding them?

In reality, I like to imagine they have to take a shit really badly and I just let them in.
PS And is it any surprise that this person was driving a BMW? Not that assholes can’t drive anything, but my confirmation bias has clearly demonstrated that this sort of behavior is endemic among the Beamers, the Benzes, the Lexi, and for some reason the Nissan Altima drivers of the world. But maybe that’s just me (and DC in general).

12

The Broken Window Theory does not apply to these situations. When the majority resorts to aggression in order to squelch aggressive behavior, it only increases the capital of aggression. When the majority lets the aggressive little baby his occasional stupid little victory, it increases the capital of courtesy.

Or, as Gandhi said, “and eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is the Cross Bronx Expressway.”

13

Don’t do stuff like this. First of all, it probably did nothing during the day. But more importantly, you have a person in front of you who you’ve decided is a terrible driver, driving in a chaotic situation, with pedestrians around, and you want to try and blind them?

14

Congratulations - you proved you can act like a bigger asshole than anyone.

Regards,
Shodan

15

If I can prevent it, I prevent it; if I can’t, that’s what the horn is for. Assholes rely on people backing down in the face of aggression or even threatened aggression. That said, any form of revenge isn’t a good idea.

It’s a pipe dream, but I have a fantasy that if people stand up to enough of them, they’ll collectively learn to be better people. Or all die of ass cancer. I’m not picky.

16

Unless you are a police officer on duty, it is not your job to ensure that other drivers drive properly. You probably wouldn’t like it at all if that were your job.

Don’t try to get revenge on bad drivers. Fantasize about it if that makes you feel better, but don’t do anything. Trying to get revenge could lead to your car getting damaged, to you or someone else in your car being injured, or worse. Depending on what you do, you could lose your driver’s license or even go to jail.

Suppose the driver in front of you had caused an accident because he was blinded by your brights in his rearview mirror. That would have caused you way more inconvenience than this guy pushing into traffic in front of you. You probably would have had to deal with traffic delays from the accident, since he was in front of you. You might have been involved in the accident, which could mean damage to your car and yet more inconvenience. And that’s if no one figures out that your actions caused the accident. It gets worse if the police figure out that what you did caused the accident. Then you might be looking at a fine, points on your license or traffic school, a jump in your car insurance rates, or all sorts of other fun stuff.

Definitely don’t do something like what Andrew Burnett did. Fifteen years later, if you Google his name, the second result that comes up talks about him throwing a dog into traffic. I would bet that job hunting is… interesting for him, with that Google result and a felony conviction on his record. He did that because the driver who had the dog in the car bumped his car. If he’d exchanged insurance information like you’re supposed to, he would have suffered a minor inconvenience, maybe a day or two off work to get his car fixed. She hit him, so he probably wouldn’t even have had to pay his deductible. If he had just let it go, he would have maybe had a few thousand dollars in car repairs. That would almost certainly have cost him a lot less than a felony conviction, three years in prison (which he got), $2400 in restitution and fines, and having something like this come up when anyone Googles him.

17

Let him, and get on with your life.

18

True, that’s the SOP around here too. But if another car is being a jerk and trying to merge as well, not worth my time to be angry about it or flash bright lights at him or anything. Just let it go with a quick “Jerk” to yourself and move on with your day.

19

I let him in front of me, then run a search on his license plate to find his address. Then I race to his house before he gets home and ax murder his whole family. I scrawl “learn how to merge properly!” on the wall in baby blood, do an upper-decker in his toilet, and then go home feeling good about having done my part for traffic safety.

20

Scumpup, you are an inspiration to good citizens everywhere.

Regards,
Shodan