One of the ladies I work with must have just gotten some bad news on the phone about her mom - it’s an open office cube farm sort of workroom, and I heard her go “What’s wrong? MOM? After all that work?” and then start crying and say “Is she okay? What did the doctors say?”… “Kylie (her niece) was in the car?!” She’s obviously really upset and I think she’s in my boss’ office now. I overheard her telling my boss, who’s her friend, that her mother (who got in a very bad car wreck probably a year, maybe a year and a half ago) was in a wreck this morning and is in the hospital on oxygen and complaining of chest pains, and that her niece got a nasty cut on her face, but that her sister was too upset to tell her anything more.
So what do you do when you accidentally eavesdrop on that sort of thing? I feel uncomfortable asking for follow-up on the conversation I totally shouldn’t have overheard, but you don’t want to not say anything because it’s not like people don’t know you were sitting right there in the next cube row, you know? I’m sure she’ll be going home (two hour drive or so) so I might not even get a chance to talk to her, but I feel like a coward if I don’t (and I’m totally a coward, because I totally don’t want to.) Ergh. What would you do?
You’re in a cube farm? You discreetly pretend you did not hear anything. If you come face to face and see her crying, you are permitted to ask politely. But cube farmers have no privacy at all, and it’s polite to maintain the farce of privacy.
This can vary depending on a couple of things. If you are friends with her, or if you are in a very small cube frm (I’d say 6 people or less) then you should say something. Large farms though, keep out of it unless specifically spoken to.
See, it’s two departments (or, well, we got devoured by the other one, but I digress) in this particular cube farm, and we’re quite small on our end. I did ask “Are you okay?” as she walked by and she told me all about it - I wouldn’t have gone over to her, I think that’s kind of intrusive. (But then you don’t want to be the coldhearted bitch who doesn’t care, right?)
I would approach my co-worker and say “Look, I’m sorry - I couldn’t help overhearing. I just wanted to see if you’re ok” and if I’m in a position to give her a hand with her work if she needs to leave early I’ll add “…and to see if there’s anything I can do to help.” Maybe chuck in something about her family being in my thoughts/prayers (whichever seems more appropriate for the situation).
I’m not one for pretending I didn’t hear if I just want to give a little moral support.
I think that if it was a huge deal and you sat right next to her (mom died in a car accident and you know that from over hearing it), sympathy is appropriate and the evesdropping will probably be overlooked - but don’t share. (“I couldn’t help over hearing. I’m so sorry. Let me know if there is anything I can do - do you need me to take care of the work on your desk today?”)
This one sounds like its probably not a huge deal - so I’d ignore it. If Mom turns out to have a few scrapes and be on oxygen because of an overconcerned ER doc, she may feel silly.
(Always ignore spousal fights and divorce rumors - regardless of what sort of big deal it appears to be.).
Heh, there’s a lady across the workroom who’s always yelling at her kids on the phone. “Don’t hang up on Mommy! DON’T HANG UP ON MOMMY!” I believe they’re, like, older teenagers, too. No, I just let that one go.
The last accident, both of her parents were in the hospital for several weeks and I think her dad was in for more than a month, and they have lingering problems from it, so I think that’s why she was so upset - it didn’t sound so bad this time, but “in the hospital with chest pains” could mean absolutely anything.
Given that she has already confided in someone at work, who is a friend of hers, I would assume she wouldn’t want another round of explaining and sympathy. I know I wouldn’t.
So I would go with something along the lines of, ‘I heard you talking to <name> earlier, I’m so sorry to hear what’s happened, is there any work I can pick up for you whilst you’re away?’
What has happened in my office in the past is that In the event of a tragedy that involves leaving the office it is appropriate to offer to be the driver.
This happened recently at the restaurant where I bartend. One of the servers took a cell phone call in the station behind the lounge area. She was directly behind my workstation behind the bar, and I heard her say, " What?! Are you serious? Oh my god!" while sobbing. She finished the call and came down into the bar area, collapsing into one of the other servers’ arms. She informed us that a former employee and close friend of hers and many others had just committed suicide.
While this former employee was friends with almost everyone there, she was closest to the server who took the call. They were as close to being sisters as two girls could be without being related. Because we weren’t in a position to offer to drive (being on shift in a busy restaurant and all), the rest of us launched into make-it-work mode. We helped her gather her things. Divvied up her remaining open tables, and sent her on her way to be with the family of the departed.
