What Do You Get For Someone Who Doesn't Like Anything?

My mom’s birthday is coming up and I have to shop and find something for her. What do you get for someone who doesn’t like anything? (I tend to buy books, music, and movies). Let me provide some examples.

She didn’t like “Pirates of the Caribbean” because “It was soooo dark and the people were sooooo ugly and Johnny Depp seemed gay!”

She didn’t like “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” because Mina, well, “they showed her drinking blood like she was enjoying it!”

She was shocked, SHOCKED, that there was lots of blood drinking in Interview With The Vampire. And was offended when I started laughing at her.

She didn’t like “Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood” because “They did a lot of drinking and it was soooooo depressing.”

She doesn’t like most classical literature because it’s boring. And she’s an English teacher.

She doesn’t like most newer literary fiction because it’s boring and/or depressing.

She doesn’t like genre fiction, most of the time.

Nonfiction, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

I got her one of those “Bunch-o Books You Should Read” books but most of the books in there were long, boring, or sounded depressing

And then she’s the one who complains that she has nothing to read.

Mostly venting, but any ideas? I can’t think of a single thing she’s enjoyed.

Nothing. It sounds like she doesn’t deserve any gifts.

But first, ask her–just say “What do you want?” If she doesn’t give any hints, say you won’t get her anything. If she says “Oh, I don’t want anything…” take her seriously.

I guess a sock in the nose is out of the question?

A gift certificate?
A boot to the head?

Eve, I think I like you.

Find the most tacky, useless, gaudy knick-knack you can find. Something like this. Or a book of knock-knock jokes.

One of those rubber pig keychains that, when squeezed, fake shit comes out. You can thank me later.

A bookmark, and a Borders gift card, and a sock in the nose.

Oh, and perhaps an etiquette book (preferably Miss Manners) with the part that says “Thou shalt be thankful first and foremost for the thoughtfulness of having been given a gift at all, rather than persnickety about the substance of said gift” clearly marked.

I like Scarlett’s last suggestion. But how about a gift certificate to a bookstore? She can get whatever she wants.

Yes, definitely a gift certificate to a bookstore. And what Scarlett said.

You can’t think of any “gag” gifts? Any inside jokes in your family that might inspire you?

Food. Candy bars, etc. Nobody doesn’t like food.

And yeah, if those don’t work, a SITN.

**What Do You Get For Someone Who Doesn’t Like Anything? **
A hammer.

She sounds like my grandmother.

We usually get her a potted plant, lottery tickets, or, when she was still willing to go outside and interact with other humans, we’d take her out to dinner.

An enema?

Its for your Mum, heck get her something you want, you’ll be able to inherit it later;)

Flowers and Chocolates are your friend.

I know gift certificates are being bandied about, but nothing says “I made no effort in chosing your present” more than a gift certificate. (though the OP Mom probably deserves it)

Are you SURE you’re not talking about my mother-in-law?

I kept having problems finding gifts for her. Food? She doesn’t eat. VCR? Wouldn’t know how to use it. Sweaters? Never warm enough. Flowers? They die.

So I got her a vase of silk flowers in a vase half filled with clear resin. Looks like real flowers in water, but all she has to do is dust it. She loved it. Go figure.

Good Luck!


What about a trip to a beauty spa place?

Or how about the ‘random wine bottle and stuff in a gift basket’ routine?

Your mom sounds like me. Except I try to be gracious when I get gifts. The thing is I really don’t like getting gifts to the point that at Christmas I have started a tradition of rather than large expensive gifts we just give each other stocking stuffer gifts that are not to cost over $5. I enjoy giving gifts just not getting them.

I don’t recommend getting chocolates unless she can eat and really enjoys chocolate.

Do you live in the same town as she does, if so then give her a dinner out for the 2 of you. And bring a corsage for her when you pick her up. It also gives her the gift of you. Take pictures so that she has memories of your birthday outing. And definitely remember to have the waiters sing happy birthday to her.

If you are in a different town, possibly tickets to a play that she would enjoy. Tell her she needs to take pictures so that you can remember her night out on you.

If she gardens, how about some flowers, a nice ceramic pot, new gardening gloves, and a bag of manure.

How about a new tool box. You should be able to find one that says it is a “ladies” tool box (I think Targets carries one). This will allow her to not have to borrow your tools to fix stuff anymore (did that with my mom she was in heaven cause my dad keeps all of the tools and when you ask him where they are he doesn’t tell you but goes and gets it for you, sorta like he doesn’t want you to know where anything is, but I know he is only trying to be helpful. But now mom has her own tools and dad isn’t allowed to touch them)