I was going to write a pit thread about this, but at this point I’m just too tired of being pissed off. The Superhero and I have some friends (they’re actually his best friends) who are a couple and getting married this fall. We’re both in the wedding party. Until February, they were meat-n-potatoes folks, who rarely ate vegetables and never ate things like tofu or meat substitutes, always opting for meat. In February they watched some sort of PETA-propaganda movie and decided to become vegan. They didn’t do any research beforehand to see whether the claims of the movie were actually true, nor did they find out what sorts of things would be important for them to get in their new diet in order to stay healthy. They just started buying fake chicken and fake cheese and eating a ton of soy frankenfood, proseletyzing to us every time we spent time together. It has gotten to the point that nearly every time we exchange email or hang out, they do everything they can to push their vegan agenda. They’ve said to us more than once that “you’re the friends that we thought would become vegan with us!”
The funny thing about it is that I know a lot more about being vegan than they do. I was the one who told them about Vitamin B12 deficiency, and about how to get a complete protein by eating a mixture of certain foods, and that they can’t eat marshmallows anymore. The Superhero and I buy organic free-range eggs and milk and chicken, are very aware of what sorts of fish are being overfished and don’t eat those, and eat vegetarian (not vegan, though I guess sometimes) meals a few times a week. We’re comfortable with the way we eat and the choices we’ve made, and we never once tried to push organic stuff or beans and rice on them in the entire time we’ve known them. Yet here they make what they consider to be a moral decision (“we don’t want to hurt the poor aminals” and yes, they said aminals) and then decide that it’s what we need to do as well. They still don’t eat beans and rice, instead opting for vegan meat and dairy substitutes most of the time (they did eat falafel and hummus once that I know of).
They’ve had a lot of problems with both of their families in dealing with their wedding planning, which is normal. But I’m pretty sure that the extent of the problems would not be happening if they had not suddenly and without warning decided to become vegan, decided that everyone they invited to the wedding would be spending three days at the site, and (of course!) decided that the wedding dinner would be vegan. NObody else coming to the wedding will be vegan or even vegetarian. Most of their familes will be coming from out of state and will be wondering where the meat and butter are when they’re presented with their plate of turnips or whatever they happy couple decide to serve that fits into their vegan, Renaissance-esque wedding. They’ve been looking for months and have still yet to find a caterer willing to travel to the wedding location and prepare said meal for the price that the couple is willing to pay. At this point, I’m pretty sure they’re completely delusional that they’re even going to find someone since they have less than 3 months to go.
I really liked these people, and I never had cause to complain about their friendship until they turned vegan and decided to push their beliefs and agenda and opinions on everyone around them. Their families are totally bewildered and the number of friends who are willing to spend time with them is diminishing. I’ve had vegan friends in the past, and I’ve been vegetarian at times in my life, but I’ve never had to withstand the kind of onslaught that they’ve undertaken since February to make sure the whole world knows what moral upstanding people they are now that they’ve decided that because they’re vegan, and everyone they know should be too.
Do I hate vegans? No. But I do wish they’d respect other people’s eating habits just as they want others to respect theirs. And I think it’s morally reprehensible to use one’s wedding to make all of one’s friends and family uncomfortable for the sake of one’s beliefs about animal products eight months after one decides to stop eating them oneself. In my opinion, the host of a party should provide food for everyone that everyone’s comfortable eating. If they want a vegan meal, it shouldn’t be too hard for the caterer to make two.