Like:
Face – I’m cute. I have never really had any acne. I have wicked pointy eyebrows like some evil manga villain. The star shaped scar on my forehead is cool and the story behind it never fails to impress people at parties.
Hair – I have that cool messed-up sleep hair look going on lately. My girlfriend says I’m starting to look like those sleazy guys from Oasis. I just need some cool tinted pilot shades to complete the look. I’m also contemplating on growing some fat sideburns despite her threats of violence, ahem… when I start to get proper facial hair that is.
Knees, hands and elbows – After years of skateboarding, recreational BMX riding and the occasional drunken kung fu session they look horribly mangled. People gasp in horror when I wear shorts and I get a little kick out of it every time.
Penis – I have grown to love this silly thing.
Dislike:
Teeth – I refused to wear braces so now I have crooked fucked up teeth.
Body – I’m as skinny as a hardcore vegan, my shadow looks like a pathetic stick figure. It’s not something I stress about though. Heroin chic is still in right? I’m a bit short too but I’m over it.
Toes – I have fuzzy hair on my toes. I’m a freak of nature. Right now I can hear the villagers mustering up courage and lighting torches outside.
Arms – My psychopathic cat has scarred my beautiful arms for life, the little bastards claws even managed to penetrate oven mittens!
Armpits – They smell.