... What do you mean I'm supposed to have a Nokia 7250i?

Well that was bizarre. I’ve been with Virgin Mobile for coming up to 2 years now, on a plan where I’d brought my own phone but Virgin had given me mobile access for each month, and nearing the end of my contract I’m looking for pastures greener. But I wasn’t sure on the exact date that I signed up, so I called to find out when my contract was ending, and if I was still on it how much it’d cost if I bailed now…

Virgin Girl: There’s no cancellation fee on the plan you’re on. You only have to pay out the money owing on the phone you have, and you’re free.

Me: Whu? I don’t have a phone, I got this number on a bring your own contract dealie…

VG: The Dial High 40 plan that you’re on isn’t one that is on a BYO contract. It says here you should have a Nokia 7250i phone…

Me: Err, no. When I signed up I already had a phone, I just needed them to give me a SIM card, which they did. It was in a nifty little red packet and all. No phone, though.

VG: Oh, I’ll have to find the paperwork you signed when you first signed up, because all of my systems here are saying you should have that phone… Do you mind if I chase it up and call you back?

Me: Sure.

So according to what she says, either I’ve been gypped on my contract and I’ve been paying for a phone that I don’t have, or their computers are shit and have me mixed up with someone else (which is possible, given the issues I’ve had with their online bill payment facility in the past). So now I wait, and find out if they owe me a shiny new phone that I never got two years ago…