Holocaust or those Wacky Nazi jokes.
Check your PM.
Intentional put-downs - you know, those jokes that the office bully/asshole makes at someone else’s expense to make himself feel better? The ones that aren’t funny, ever? Yeah, office mates always tease each other about stuff, but you can easily tell the good-natured ribbing from the asshole bastard. He’s just mean. And not funny.
This for me, too.
OK, these aren’t jokes, per se, but I utterly fail to find anything to do with zombies funny, entertaining, ironic or relevant.
Yup - that’s about my only limit for finding stuff funny. I don’t like mean, and I don’t like jokes or situations that humiliate other people. Even in sitcoms, I don’t care for episodes where the humour depends on a character doing something that makes me cringe (“The Office” is a good example of this).
I think practical jokes fall under this category - they depend on someone not being in the joke and being fooled and made to look foolish. A fake lottery ticket? That’s horrible - that’s about as funny as cutting someone’s hand off. We’ve actually gone around on this type of humour here before, and I’m of the opinion that harm done to someone under the guise of a joke isn’t completely undone when you yell, “Gotcha!”
ETA: I forgot to say that I find fart jokes funny almost all the time. 
I can laugh at anything except, categorically, if the humor is causing unwanted discomfort to its subject. Slapstick doesn’t usually work for me.
America’s Funniest Videos and its ilk–no funnier to me than a holocaust film (which are only funny with good commentary).
Jackass–Funny
Holocaust, Katrina, Haiti EQ, Japanese EQ-Tsunami-Nuclear jokes? Bring 'em on.
You’ve covered a lot of stuff for me:
Hurting animals - check
Humiliation humor - check
Winning the Lotto practical joke - check
I really hate blonde jokes. I dislike racist jokes which target minorities, and I also dislike jokes that say that fair white women are stupid. When I worked as a floater in this firm, I had to have access to the e-mails of the secretaries whose desks I covered, and I saw that some of them would gleefully exchange extremely hateful blonde jokes. Seeing that some of our most brilliant and top-billing attorneys are blonde women, this was annoying on two counts: viciously bigoted and untrue.
I don’t like humor where the point is to make a specific someone uncomfortable. Especially when the humor seems to come out of watching them squirm. It makes *me * uncomfortable.
I also have yet to find anything funny about this webcomic that is supposedly brimming with humor (although I like the story.)
Mentioned in a different thread …
… I don’t think there’s any subject that a joke could be cracked about that I’d automatically decide could never be funny. It’s *genres *of comedy that fall flat for me … specifically, I just don’t get the humor involved in “Marriage Sucks” comedy (ala Al Bundy, or Mr. Roper).
It’s probably because I’m jaded – I got married and thought it was for all the right reasons, and despite the shit, I loved being married, I loved my wife, I didn’t want to be divorced, etc. So when I hear jokes about, “Ah, jeez, looks like the wife wants me to have sex with her again” … (cue laugh track). I keep thinking … fuck’s sake, shut up and divorce the bitch if it’s all so horrible.
Agree. I think how funny a joke is depends on the person telling it.
Humiliation, racist/sexist/ethnic jokes, juvenile bathroom humor, most slapstick and all crotch hits - not funny. I like my humor to be a bit more cerebral - a clever turn of phrase, or a well-done shaggy dog story will get me every time. I like a skillfully delivered pun also. I enjoy silly stuff and some topical humor as long as it’s meant to be funny and not thinly veiled political or social jabs.
Carlos Mencia is never funny, nor is Lisa Lampanelli. I have spoken.
Vomit. It’s never funny, it’s just disgusting. And other things - so far I’m agreeing most with Dogzilla, I believe.
Webcomics. “Geek” humor. I’ve never laughed at a single webcomic. XKCD…no.
Any show with a laugh track. I don’t think I have ever, ever laughed at a joke on a show with a laugh track. I’m not talking about a live studio audience, I mean a canned laughter track.
Spoonerisms. You know like when people juxtapose the first letters in a two word phrase. Instead of saying something like “bad penny” they will say “pad benny”.
Once in a while it’s OK, but I have a BIL that does it almost every sentence. He thinks it’s cute. I think it makes him sound like a moron!
Deliberately offensive humor, especially if the comedian seems to be gloating over how cutting edge they are for being offensive. There’s a difference between saying something funny that might offend people and making a joke for the sole purpose of being offensive. It’s hard to explain. Louis CK is hilarious. Sarah Silverman not.
In general, I try not to discriminate based on what jokes are about. But if I had to pick one topic area that I consistently find unfunny, it would be how miserable being in a committed relationship is.
the woman is always right
‘‘yes, dear’’
the old ball and chain
no more sex after marriage
men just want beer and sex
Pretty much the stereotypical stand-up comedian fodder.
It’s just kind of pathetic to me. I’m not going to laugh at someone else’s relationship failures, it just smacks of eschewing responsibility for their own decisions.
i’d consider myself a kindred spirit. i’ve laughed at all the jokes that people have mentioned thus far as vehemently not-funny. however, i have never found parody songs to be any good. The fact that Weird Al even has a career baffles me, much less the morning zoo shock jocks and their… lesser imitations.
if you can laugh at those, you’re a much more accepting comedy audience than i.
Slapstick. It’s not funny. If you want to be funny say something funny don’t just hit someone over the head with a 2 by 4. It’s not funny.
Tom Green’s entire body of ‘professional’ work. :rolleyes:
I also hate ‘humor’ that’s obviously aimed at making an individual feel uncomfortable. Like another poster said, it makes me uncomfortable.
Prank phone calls. I think they’re lame, and/or cruel.