Vomit - that’s another good one. Although, Big Bang Theory did have a vomit scene that made me laugh out loud - Leonard is barfing in the toilet after drinking too much with Penny, then Penny comes in and sees him barfing, so she goes and barfs in the sink, and Leonard comes over to help her, and it makes him go back to barfing in the toilet. Ah, I found it. Okay, other than that scene, vomiting is rarely funny. 
Offensive humor is fine to me as long as it is spaced by enough time to make it funny. Hitler parodies make me crack up when they are well done. Even real Hitler videos do sometime. Japanese jokes right now are not funny.
However, I don’t like any practical jokes that harm other people’s property in any way. Wrapping everything in someone’s office or cubicle in aluminum foil while they are on vacation? I would take one look at it and tell them to undo it all while I take over their office and it better look better than it ever was when I get back. No wasting people’s time with no point either. I figure that most people have enough hassles in their personal and work lives that they don’t need gremlins screwing it up even more for them on purpose. That includes crank calls.
A lot of bigoted humour relies on being supposedly subversive: ‘ooh, look at me, crossing the line, bet those PC people won’t like it!’ I require more than that for me to find something funny. Humour is not just about crossing the line, or I’d laugh at the letter t.
Frankie Boyle used to often cross the line in his jokes on Mock the Week, but did it in a clever way, using lots of wordplay, unexpected observational humour, etc; he was quite often funny, to me. But he has a column in a tabloid which cuts out the joke bits and leaves in all the bigoted rants. It’s horribly boring, and his recent TV appearances are the same.
There was a recent debacle when interviewer James Naughtie accidentally said ‘Jeremy Cunt, Hulture Secret…’ and then tried to cover it up by coughing. That was freaking awesome.
But your BIL sounds extremely annoying.
You saved me a whole lot of typing! I’d also add “Will Ferrell” to the unfunny list, although he’s mostly covered under the “stupid frat-boy” statement.
Other people said it better but…Vicious Humor.
I don’t like jokes about broccoli or brussel sprouts.
Is there something wrong with me that I can’t stop laughing about that post?
At least half the stuff already posted, particularly humiliation jokes and bathroom humor (no, I’m not stuck up or prudish, it’s just simply not funny).
But what really makes me cringe are the “wacky” escapades of ATVs on shows like AFV and World’s Dumbest. It is NOT funny when a 4 wheeler flips over on someone, or does endos down a hill, people die in accidents like that all of the time, the people they show in these programs are just lucky.
Jokes involving human waste, most biological humor.
Humiliation humor; either it makes me wince, or if I despise the person/character enough that it doesn’t make me wince, it falls flat because it isn’t enough.
Crossdressing. It doesn’t offend me, but I don’t see the humor.
Fat jokes. <yawn>
Most “your mother” type jokes.
Most practical jokes.
Hurting animals.
Vomiting.
I’ll find humor in just about anything if it’s well done/written. But what you said above, that’s about it for me. Jokes where the un-PC-ness has to be pointed out just get an eyeroll from me. And I suppose things that aren’t jokes, too, but just someone trying to prove they’re a straight shooter or something like that by being willing to “tell it like it is” (i.e. telling it as they see it) lose a lot of credibility with me, whether it’s a politician, pundit, co-worker, or something else.
The wink-wink, nudge-nudge style of humiliation. It may have been cute when Monty Python did it, once, but it doesn’t fly when you’re trying to do it to people you know. We have a part-time staffer who’s about 60 and divorced, and on good terms with her ex-husband, who lives out of state. He has to come back a couple of times a year for a meeting or something, and she came into the lunchroom asking for ideas for a restaurant where they could go out to dinner. I said, “How nice. What area of town, and what’s your budget?” but was drowned out by the “Oh, dinnnnner, is that what they’re calling it? Susan’s got a date! Susan’s got a date! We better not see you in the same clothes tomorrow!” shit. And among these assholes was our boss, which makes it doubly offensive. That bullshit does not fly.
Political Gotcha Humor. Let me explain.
Back in the president Bush days, Bush could do “something”. Then later on, he could do something else, say something else, or find himself in a position that was ironic, or made him look like a hypocrite or stupid or just bad. Now, sometimes thats actually true, but often the situation is more complicated or the details are twisted/stretched to make the joke possible in the first place. Now these sorts of situations and humor certainly aren’t limited to Bush.
But this is where “it” gets me.
John Dailey could make a joke like that about something or somebody I took seriously. And I could often find it funny. As a matter of fact, I thought Bush caught a lot of unfair flack. But I was a regular Dailey show watcher during most of the Bush era and usually found his Bush “gotcha” jokes funny, often very funny.
Bill Mahr? could make a similiar joke and often not only was it not funny, it pissed me off.
The difference. John seems to know he is just making a funny. Bill seems to think he made some ironclad logical analysis as to why the person/situation is totally fucked up but he’s smarter than everyone else involved. And there seems to often be a bit of hatred/contempt thrown in for good measure.
And some folks here on the Dope do the same. And it makes me think they are hateful idiots. Of course it is often much harder with this internet type of communication to tell if the poster is a John or Bill.
Another one for humiliation and bathroom humor in general (though, god help me, I do like Jackass and Tom Green).
I remember my mom looking at me funny when we were watching some episode of Family Ties years ago; Alex Keaton was dating (or just pursuing) a ballet dancer, and he posed as a dancer himself, got into the dance studio, and in a dance class was called upon to demonstrate his dancing. It was really obvious that he was in over his head and about to be humiliated in front of this girl that he was trying to impress… and I got up and walked out of the room. I still don’t know how that episode ends.
Humiliation humor, though, has one important exception for me: the type found in the comic strip Peanuts. Not sure how to define the difference, but the mild sufferings and humiliations that Charlie Brown, et al., endured were rarely the source of the humor itself, and usually weren’t even meant to be funny. I had a similar reaction to the movie Ghost World, in which Seymour suffers quite a bit of humiliation at the hands of a girl who actually likes him. It’s not funny, but it’s done right, and the movie overall is one of my favorite “comedies.”
We were meant to laugh at Alex Keaton for being stupid and learning some pithy lesson. We’re not meant to laugh at Charlie Brown missing the football, but at the circumstances surrounding it.
Joke I heard the other day:
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: THAT’S NOT FUNNY!
Yes. There’s a big difference between humor that is offensive and funny, and humor that is funny because it’s offensive. Lazy comedians seem to think that all they have to do is come up with some sentence that will piss people off, and they’re done. Good comedians can use offense to add punch to their jokes, but understand that humor still needs humor.
A few years ago, I would have answered the OP’s question by saying the only thing I can’t stand is bad humor, the type of lazy, obvious jokes that are the staple of Jay Leno and a certain flavor of bland sitcom. Nothing else bothered me.
Since then, though, my wife and I have gone through two miscarriages, suddenly making dead baby jokes far less amusing, and one successful baby birth. It’s amazing how, since I’ve become a father, I am suddenly far less able to view any situation with a baby in danger, or even just unhappy, as anything other than a Bad Situation that needs to be fixed. I even read a sci-fi book last month in which a family - husband, wife, and baby - are running scared and hiding from the authorities, and I was amazed at the strength of emotion that raised in me at the thought of a baby in danger. I never used to experience that. So, I guess, anything implying child abuse or endangerment, no matter how silly or improbable.
While the BIL who constantly does this should have his lips sewn shut, I find the accidental spoonerism can be quite funny, especially when this is the result. The look on the poor guy’s face is priceless!
God, yes. Just shut the fuck up.
A couple of people have said this, and it has made me stop and think about it - I can’t think of any examples of people trying to be funny by hurting an animal. Do you (or anyone else) have any specific examples of this? (And I agree, for the record - an animal doesn’t understand that it’s being hurt for a joke.)
Heh - I laugh every time I hear that joke. 
I generally don’t find jokes about sex to be funny.
It’s not that I’m offended; I’m exceptionally hard to offend. It’s just that it’s been so, so overdone, and you hardly ever hear a sex joke that’s actually funny in any way other than trying to shock.
Along with humiliation humor I would add “fish-out-of-water” humor. That is, the Freaky Friday situations where a character switches roles with another character and has to become adept at the new role. The scenes that follow are often filled with awkward social situations and the like. I avoid those as much as I possibly can in real life, why the hell would I want to see them in fiction? I can’t enjoy these scenes even in serious stories (like, for example, when a character is in disguise and is trying to interact with a baddie to get information). In fact, in the latter it’s often worse, because the consequences are that much more severe.