We interrupt this thread for a breaking Cute Baby story:
WhyBaby was asking me all day for a “gookie gacker”. Now, a gookie is a cookie and a gacker is a cracker, right? But suddenly she was putting the two together. Took me all day to figure out what she wanted. Once I figured it out, I realized that, while she remains a klutz, she is brilliant.
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present: The Gookie Gacker.
More reassurance…
I was like that in middle school and high school, too (though I was better at being able to do just enough to do well, while still slacking off). College was a much different story, though- once I got into a situation where I got to choose, for the most part, which classes to take, I was much more motivated.
My parents, no doubt, said the same thing. Now they want me to move back to the East Coast to be closer to them.
I spent pretty much all my free time (which was copious, since I was a slacker and didn’t take honors classes) in high school playing Nintendo games. I’m not Bill Gates now, by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m doing well enough for myself as an IT person.
Funny how that happens, isn’t it? They cuddle close to you in sleep and wham black eye, split lip, etc. Babies would make fantastic weapons. Maybe if I ever want to get back at someone, I’ll ask if they can babysit overnight - “Oh, look at him - he wants to sleep next to me! How adorable. He’s so cuddly and angelic when he’s…Gah! By dose!”
Oh, yeah, and the baby gets upset, too. 
My son (11) is very good at some things that most kids his age are bad at–such as chores (he does things like taking out the trash without being ask sometimes, and never complains or stalls when asked to do them) and he’s sweet as can be, and is able to have intelligent, mature conversations with adults…
…that said, he has serious problems with school because he doesn’t pay close enough attention. He makes careless mistakes, and doesn’t follow instructions. He doesn’t stay on task. He is very unorganized. He “forgets” to bring homework assignments home. He is very smart, yet gets very bad grades. 
…he is very socially immature around other kids. He still thinks that falling over and making random noises is “funny” the way it was when he was in kindergarten. He babbles endlessly without having anything to say (he’ll actually trail off and then admit that he started a sentence without even knowing what he was going to talk about), and talks about video games all the time despite being told repeatedly that we aren’t interested in hearing it.
…he wants to appear knowledgeable and so he will speak authoritatively about things he doesn’t know anything about. For example, he will say that something “is usually” this or that, when it’s the first time he’s encountered it and has no idea what its characteristics are. He expresses opinion as fact. We’re trying to break him of these habits… “honey it’s ok to speculate, guess, or give an opinion, but you have to say that is what it is. If you say it like you know for sure, it’s a lie and people will stop believing you.”
I also think he may be bipolar, like I am. I’ve seen various hints of things since he was very small, and they really remind me of specific peculiarities I exhibited when I was a child. I’m currently looking for a doctor to discuss this with.
He is really a great kid, though. Especially once you get to know him (he, like many kids, gets into that excitable “show off” hyper mode when he meets people, during which he can leave a bad impression…) He takes care of me when I’m sick, cooks me food, kisses me goodnight. When I get home he will come out and meet me in the garage and will go right to the back door of the car to bring in anything that needs to be carried. And yet he has very few friends. It breaks my heart :,(
I’d love to be able to help my son (2-1/2 years old) transition from one thing to another more easily. As it is now, even with us giving him a small number of warnings (“In 5 minutes, we will need to get our coats on and go. Would you like to look at this book until then?” or “We have time to go down the slide 3 more times, and then we need to leave the playground”), he feels the loss of whatever he wished to continue doing profoundly.
With my daughter…oh, I burn with shame at this—honestly I do—but, at age 4-1/2, she still uses a binky at naptime and bedtime. My husband and I fought the last time I tried to get her to give it up and I have told him that he is now on his own when it comes to getting her to give it up once and for all. He felt that I was being too “rigid” with my timetable for giving it up and caring more about what the dentist thinks than about our daughter’s happiness, and I just said, “Fine, but I’m not doing this anymore. I want her to give it up soon, and you’re responsible for every step of it.” I hate that thing with every inch of me because it’s just a reminder of how, when I was trying so hard to make decisions that would benefit my children long-term, no one listened to me. It’s not like she’ll be dependent on it forever, they said. No, she won’t, but she sure is going to have some fucked-up teeth for a while.
So, yeah, more our shortcomings than theirs.
Tried to edit for clarity
Ugh, I really feel for ya there. It was the worst when my son was small and my husband would spoil him rotten because he wanted the kid to like him best. Never mind what’s good for the kid! And it worked too. :mad:
(I have a different husband now.)
There were a few weekends when I was left alone with the small one simply because behavior adjustments were too hard otherwise. He knew he could get what he wanted from his Mom and she knew it too. On at least one of those weekends, he didn’t even seem to notice that anything was different until his Mom came back.
I’m not sure how to say this lorene, but I somehow doubt your husband will be on his own when it comes time for your daughter to give up her binky. (I assume that’s like a nook?) With things like that, self-control in the toddler is located almost entirely in the parents. If there isn’t a united front, there is no front.
Oh, yes, I do realize that. I guess what I really meant was that, any messes that arise out of this, are his to deal with. I’ve been more than ready for years to tackle it and the attendant problems—need for comfort in the middle of the night, I already hand-sewed her a soft fleecy blanket to substitute for soothing, etc. But the longer this gets put off, the less willing I am to do all the heavy lifting around it. Sure, I’ll comfort her if she needs it. But if she gets up 6 times in the night, I’ll go once or twice and he can go 4 or 5 times. I’m frustrated and…well, done with this topic.
I’m not explaining it well. I know what I mean, and I know the discussions between all of us that have happened over the years. I’m not throwing either of them to the wolves if that’s what it sounded like. I’m just tired of battling alone. Like you said, united front or no front, and I’ve been the lone soldier here.
Wha? You mean everything isn’t mine mine mine?
I’m sorry.
I meant what I said about not knowing how to make my point. I think I must have failed more profoundly than I had anticipated. It’s a touchy topic and I should have deleted on preview.
FWIW, if you read my first post in this thread, one of the things that irks me about the-monster-what-wears-the-footie-pajamas is that he sometimes has fantastic insights into the world around him and then acts like he was not only the first one ever to realize said insights, but the only one capable of explaining them to others.
“Oh what joy I’ll bring to the world by sharing my insights on the pleasures of cookies and milk!”
One of these days I’ll grow up, I promise.
I babysat for a friend of mine the other day. Her daughter is 5 months old. My daughter is 18 months old. I’ve always suspected I had a great kid. She’s happy, she’s easy, doesn’t stress out much at all. She’s always rolled with the punches, so to speak.
The baby I had the other night was wound a lot tighter than my kid. Everything startled or upset her. Her default noise is an upset cry. Very particular kid. I’m sure that the Mom helps out with that as she is wound rather tight too.
My point is, I didn’t realize exactly how cool and easy going my kid has always been until I was around another kind of kid.
It has always tickled me to death that she wanders like a drunk, afraid of virtually nothing and thrilled with most everything. When she was 3 months old, we went to the aquarium and as usual, she had to be held facing out so she could see everything. I was rather shocked because people kept commenting on how aware she was.
I adore my fearless (It’s fun to stand on my desk), strong (no that rock is NOT too heavy), independent (I got it myself Mommy!) and finally, at last, cuddley (MOMMA LEGS!) kid.
Her fatal flaw?
Damned kid looks determined to be right handed. I won’t be able to teach her how to do crap.
Oh, gosh, no. I meant that I was sick of discussing it in my own home, with the people who seem to think I’m some sort of monster about it. 
I was the one who brought it up here, after all.
And world peace could probably be negotiated over cookies and milk, and maybe a nice nap.
So, neither’s bio-mine, to hell with it, I’m reproducing laterally…
Middlebro’s biggest defect is violent, radical, sometimes paralyzing perfectionism. He inherited it from Dad. Every time his grades were less than perfect, it was Sophocles. It wasn’t “damn, I need to study more”; it was “I’m a complete idiot, I’m good for nothing.” Dad gave me that spiel every time my grades came in; in Middlebro’s case it wasn’t necessary because he did it by himself. A couple years ago, I was helping him set up some shelves. He measured the height of the space and I, calculating mentally, made the mistake of saying out loud “ok, so the shelves have to go at a distance of X and we’ve got Y left at the bottom, it’s best to leave the extra space at the bottom.” He snorts, says “that’s not how you do it,” takes pen and paper, comes to the same conclusion, looks at me funny… and for the rest of the task, doesn’t speak except to bark orders. I’d beaten him, you see :smack:
The Nephew (17mo) has his adults twirled around his little finger, but no idea how to behave around other kids. He’s supposed to be going to kindergarten at the beginning of the next season.
Lilbro growls when you tell him to do housework he doesn’t consider “his”, but as I’ve told Mom a zillion times, “if you ask him ‘do you live here’, he shuts up, does it and doesn’t growl about it again - ever.” His attitude about housework looks a lot worse than it is; since it extends to “housework outside the house” (helping set up table when some friends are meeting at another one’s house, for example… nobody notices that he’s babysitting by default while the rest set up table), it influences his chances with girls badly.
I call those “lighthouse kids”, from the way they look when they’re lying belly-down on the pram, head lifted high, looking to one side… to another… with huge eyes. I just love those, they’re so cuuuuuuuuuuuute and aware and eager to learn!
