She chimes in on mine, I chime in on hers. Especially since she seems to be too busy to claify a few points.
They don’t work together in the way you’re all pcituring. There is no goo-goo eyes over the cubicle walls. They work for the same company at different locations. It would be stupidly easy for them to avoid each other shuold things go sour. The odds of them going so sour as for that to be necessary is pretty slim, in my view. Soon-to-be-Mr. Obsidian is friends with all his exes and with the exception of a college boyfriend that bungled their break up beyond all comprehension Obsidian parted ways amicably with all her exes. They’re both mature enough to handle a break up.
They’re in different departments so the odds of either one becoming the boss of the other is also very slim, aside from the fact she’s the office manager and he does have the right to ask her to do things he’s in no way responsible for her continued employment, progress reviews etc. The company doesn’t seem to have any sort of formal policy on this. Their India offices keep a list of couples that met and married through work as well as babies of said unions. Things are different there, I suppose, but her immediate superiors are mostly Indian and they seem to hold with many traditional views. Like she said, they haven’t been trying to hide is so some if not all of the bosses must know/suspect and nobody’s said boo.
I also want to back up nyctea. We’re both social women, Obsidian and I, but between busy jobs and hobbies and volunteer work on the weekends where are we to meet men? Neither of us like the bar scene or the men you tend to meet at it. I want the guy who’d prefer to sit at home with a book and DVD not the one who’s out partying every Friday. The last dates either of us had were through internet dating, which I have no problem with, but it’s hit and miss. I know people who’ve met their SO at the book store or coffee shop but one can hardly plan that. So if work is out too, what’s left? (Well, for those who read my thread one’s friend group, but we’ll see if that works out later.)
I live in my office. I don’t have time to meet men.
Sorry to abandon the thread and all. My job just got totally crazy all of a sudden.
I don’t know what I’m afraid of-- other than the general sense of it being a bad idea. I’m afraid of one of my bosses will grab me on day, a few months into our relationship, and say hey, we don’t think this is a good idea. There’s no way I can just go and ask someone if we have a company policy, because they’ll all know who I’m asking about. Before they hired me, this was not a problem-- there were no single people to get involved in the first place.
BTW, they do seem to encourage this behavior in our india office (where the lion’s share of our personell is). However, it is also a given that when said couple gets married, the woman quits her job.
The point is, there’s only 15 people working for my company in the US. I just feel so. . .conspicuous, already. There are just certain people I feel would dissaprove, and I don’t know what I’d do if I was told to call it off or quit. (And you know it would be me that would have to leave, too. It always is)
1.) Obviously should it not work out, will you be able to deal with it in a professional environment?
2.) More important in my mind, how will he/she deal with it should it not work out? Do you really want personal problems in your face in a professional work environment?
2a.) Say you end it cause it just doesn’t work and a month later this person is promoted. It can end your career if the person isn’t as “big of a person as you”.
2b.) Dirty laundry at the office by a vindictive lover.
3.) No separation between “my life at work” and “my life at home” as both become hopelessly entangled.
I could keep going on and on but you can see even from the short list the potential problems can be significant and reinforces my idea that it is a bad idea. Heck, I’m currently unemployed and although I might find a professional position where my wife works we both think it is a bad idea.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with a few games of Slapty-Ass around the ol’ copier between two consenting adults.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with a few games of Slapty-Ass around the ol’ copier between two consenting adults. If you are not married to such a wonderful, sexy lady like Mrs. MeanJoe
GMRyujin and I worked together and lived together for years, before he got sick of the job and quit. And we worked in the same position with the same hours for a year.
Well, it sounds like the two people concerned work for the same company, but at different sites. If that stays the same, it might not be so bad if things don’t work out.
However I had the unfortunate experience of being in a relationship with a co-worker. Once. And I almost lost my job over it.
It was partly my fault. When I’m in a relationship, I believe anything my SO tells me. (Unless I have evidence to the contrary. But then, “Love is Blind”, too.) The SO told me she was being “harrassed” by another woman in the office. Me being “The Knight In Shining Armor”, I sent the other woman a note (in an inter-office envelope, stupid stupid) telling her to lay-off my SO. Fortunately, I did not SIGN the note. And THAT is the ONLY thing that saved my job! My boss knew I wrote it, but couldn’t prove it, so I got off with a warning.
I later found out that the SO was a complete whacko, a closet drinker who also fabricated these elaborate fantasies in her head, believing them as reality. I ran screaming to the hills from that one shortly after.
So that’s MY horror story. My advice is: Just make sure the bloke isn’t a whacko/stalker/wife-beater/jerk/pig/alcoholic BEFORE you really get involved. And hopefully, if it doesn’t work out (an I’m hoping it does!) you guys can be adults about it.
