I’m going to skip over the back story and just present these facts: a 20 something woman, considered reasonably attractive by dominant culture standards, lives in a medium-sized city (~100k) in the Midwest without a particularly vibrant arts scene, identifies her job as being a “dancer”. Based on this information alone, what would you estimate is the likelihood that this individual’s vocation also involves a pole, and making regular bank deposits consisting largely of $1 bills?
10%? 50%? 90%?
Would you consider it “outrageous” to assume this individual worked in a ‘gentleman’s club’?
In the area you describe, I’d be inclined to think she probably aspires to be a professional, artistic dancer but currently works at a kids dance studio giving beginning tap and ballet lessons. I Wouldn’t assume exotic dancer or stripper without any additional info.
I’d probably immediate think “stripper”, and then a few seconds later think what IvoryTowerDenizen said.
I lived in a Midwest college town of about 100K people until very recently. There were several strip clubs in the town but also a fair number of dance schools. If a 20-something woman there told me she was a dancer, I’d probably put the odds of her being a stripper at less than 50%. But this town had three colleges, two of which had prominent performing arts programs, so maybe that changes the odds.
(I tried to get my son to become interested in dancing, but he didn’t go for it. I told him it was a great way to get exercise and meet women, but he didn’t believe me. Five year olds! What can you do?)
Mentioned in conversation. To be honest, I never considered (yes, I am the ogre that ‘assumed’ and am now seeking validation) the kids tap dance thing. When I hear someone works as a dancer for a living, I immediately think they’re either involved in a Broadway or off-Broadway production, in music videos, or perhaps a ballerina. If we were talking LA or NYC I probably would not assume stripper. Here the likelihood increases considerably IMO.
I wouldn’t jump to “stripper” but then my wife has taken a bunch of belly dance and other classes so she’s friends with a lot of “dancers” with dreams of turning their artistic performances into paying gigs. My initial guess would be either a dance instructor type or someone who performs in a troupe.
Unless she tells me she’s a “dancer” while wearing a leopard print mini-dress and 5" light up heels.
My first thought would be stripper. If she was a dance teacher I’d expect her to identify herself by that full description, or even just say “I teach dance”. Do even “legitimate”, for lack of a better word, dancers refer to themselves that way? Seems kind of awkward.
Why does “attractive” matter? Are strippers in small cities really more likely to be attractive than other people who would describe themselves as dancers (troupe members, dance teachers?)
I had the same thought. Knowing that “dancer” is code for stripper, I would think anyone would add a descriptor to what they do to avoid confusion/misunderstandings.
I wouldn’t assume stripper, but that possibility would cross my mind. I would think someone who teaches dance as a primary income source would call themselves a “dance instructor.” The ability to make a living as a dancer is a small city is quite limited, I would think.
And the only dancers/strippers I knew did it for the money or so they could go onto another career. Heck she might actually be “reaching out” to you and wanting a stable guy so she can leave that job.
I’d assume that she dances in shows or teaches dancing as a sideline. But then I’m in L.A. We have no shortage of dancers and/or strippers here.
It would also depend on how she presents herself - from the women working as strippers or other sex work that I’ve known, they always have a sort of “stripper vibe” even off duty - their hair and makeup and dress are geared toward the maximum appropriate sexiness of whatever situation. If she gave that vibe, I would definitely interpret it as “stripper” or “in-call stripper-and-occasional-prostitute.” However, without it? She legitimately dances for a living.
I would just think generic dancer before the idea of stripper would occur to me (if it occurred at all). But I tend to take things and people at face value…and am usually not interested enough to give it more thought if it’s just someone I met at a party or something and not someone I expect to ever see again.
And I would think it beyond outrageous to say this person worked as a stripper to anyone else. You can’t really help what you think, but I’d think it presumptuous, barring any other indication that you’ve neglected to mention, to assume. Considering the idea is reasonable. But treating it with a large degree of certainty is not, again, barring any other factors you’ve neglected to mention.