I’ve always thought that a “high maintenance” woman was one that basically required a lot of money to please (expects gifts of fancy clothes and jewelry, only eats out at the finest restaurants, will only be seen in a flashy car, etc.). Recently, however, I heard somebody describe herself as a “high maintenance” woman since she expects her man to spend a lot of time with her, wants to talk on the phone when they can’t be together, etc.
Now, this second definition seems to me to be simply “clingy” and not “high maintenance.”
I think more along the lines of clingy, but usually with a bit of materialistic slant. She needs constant ressurance that you love her, that you’re there for her, that she’s beautiful, that this outfit doesn’t make her look fat, that her makeup is all right, that…well you get the picture. And the reassurance she prefers is flowers and candy and jewelry and expensive outfits (as long as you’re sure it doesn’t make her butt look big.)
The person in the OP sounds more ‘clingy’ to me (though I would include in a definition of true clinginess a lack of self-worth and inablilty to function as an adult without SO around). I would define ‘high maintenance’ as the materialistic part, plus a demand that the SO cater to her whims and generally treat her like a princess–that being the reassurance of love that is desired.
I find, upon meditating a little more, that I think of a ‘high maintenance’ friend as someone who is very emotionally demanding, as the OP’s subject describes. Hm…
I think it is probably more sensible to think in terms of relationships being high or low maintenance, not individuals–in my experience, individuals can be “high maintenance” in one relatoinship and “low matanence” in another. And this applies pretty equally to romantic, friendly, and professional relationships.
To me, a high maintenance relationship is one in which the abstract concept of the relationship itself takes up a great deal of energy on the part of one or both people.
I agree with the demanding of reassurance and attention.
Not necessarily having anything to do with finances, but just, in general, demands … with histrionics if those “needs” are not met.
I’ve always thought that “high maintenance” was a euphemism for “spoiled.” A good definition of it is someone who has a very high expectation of what you are going to do, both materially and emotionally, for her (him) and at the same time has a very low expectation about what is required from her (him) for your needs.
Hmm, to me high maintenance more often means spending lots of time in front of the mirror (e.g. salon visits, and hour blow-drying hair, won’t go out without makeup, Peg Bundys around in heels all day).
I don’t necessarily think of “high maintenance” in terms of money. Women who want material possessions are just spoiled, in my mind. I think of high maintenance as highly demanding in every way. Spend time with me, don’t look at other women, we always do what I want, don’t go out with your friends but instead be with me, everything is my way, etc. Man is whipped, does whatever the woman says (or vice versa). Usually the money part would go with it, but its not so much an issue as the time and demanding part.
Monica on Friends, she is high maintenance. She isn't necessarily very materialisitc, though.
I second fizgig, I usually use the term to refer to the kind of girl that needs over an hour to get ready when she’s only heading to the grocery store.
I concur with ccwaterback.
I think the highest of the high maintenance types aren’t even fully conscious of being high maintenance.
Seen this in both genders–not just females.
It is so ‘all about them’ that they are only occasionally aware of another’s needs or wants, and even then, their concern for others only shows up as it relates to their own agenda.
You operate on their schedule, go to their house, look at their material possessions, hear about their lives, massage their egos.
A woman who considers herself sufficiently desirable that she is not expected to meet her partner halfway, or compromise on issues that cannot be agreed upon.
