Just an update. Its been 2 weeks since I met this girl. I haven’t txted or talked to her since. So I tonight I decided to suck it up, be a man and write her back. I was a little hesitant to contact her for a few reasons. Mostly the whole situation was kind of a victory for me even without a date. I considered just leaving it be and in the future I could always look back and say there was at least one girl who semi considered dating me. I know that’s kind of sad. As a guy having little to no success in your teen and early 20 years is kind of devastating. Puts you in a hole that’s really hard to dig out of.
Anyway I msged her intending to just flat out ask her out, just the 2 of us. I txted her and she was really friendly and we ended up txting back and fourth for a few hours. She still seemed kind of stand offish a little bit. But I dropped hints that I was just a nice guy that has female friends that trust me and that im not some creeper. I never got around to asking her out but she ended it asking me when I wanted to go out for drinks. So it looks like a date. Score one for the nerds!
You asked her last time.
It’s her turn.
I disagree completely. Call her up, talk to her properly, and ask her out. Say something like “Would you like to meet me fro drinks this Saturday? Or if that’s not convenient, is there another time that would be better?”
If she doesn’t want to go Sat, and doesn’t suggest another time, then forever hold your peace.
I can’t blame her not wanting to go out alone with some random guy she just met - especially a guy who is in and out of people’s homes every day. You could be a creep. So “text me when you’re out with friends” allows her not only to meet you in the safety of a group, but also to judge you based on your interaction with your social group. Which is actually a pretty good indicator of someone’s character. She sounds pretty smart.
This is wrong on several levels:
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Don’t call. This increases the odds of a slip-up with no tangible benefit.
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Don’t set up a date in the future. If you haven’t established a relationship, you need to get her while she’s hot. A few days gives her time to think of excuses.
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Don’t leave the ball in her court by saying “or another time if you prefer.”
OP: No more than three text messages before securing a meetup. You’re rapidly becoming her “text buddy” and if you don’t get her out in-person soon it’s over.
Ne ways we went out for drinks. I had some beers and she had some ginger ale. We talked for a while, almost 3 hours. But I could tell the moment she looked at me when I picked her up that she wasn’t interested in a physical relationship. She was much more attractive that I remembered. She wasn’t wearing any makeup but had an awesome combination of European and Middle Eastern looks. I don’t know who would ever complain about inter racial couples. They always make the most breath taking off spring.
So we left on good terms and I think we’ll probably hang out again. But im pretty sure I have another person to add to my stable of friends who happen to be girls, lol. I dunno how anyone ever gets together with anyone else.
In my case I do what you did, many many times over.
Well, not with clients; but I don’t have a job where I meet clients.
I mean I swap contact details with women I like (as well as swapping contact details with people in general) many times a week. And keep up with the texting. And I go on a date 1 or 2 times a week.
I’m not a player; once I’m in a relationship, I stop doing this. I just keep several irons in the fire because so few lead to something.
This seems to be the trick.
Getting together with someone is so close to impossible that everything has to be just right for it to occur. It takes a perfect storm of circumstances. So the only way to make it happen is to stir up enough storms that eventually you get a perfect one.
(It’s messy as hell, though. I’m sure glad I’m not doing it anymore.)