So I work in a job that takes me into people house throughout the day. Over the last few years it adds up to thousand and thousands of people ive met. During this time i have met lots of single women but have never asked any of them out. Anyways I had one today that i felt a little of a spark with. After i got home i txted her about something stupid just to get a conversation going. After a little back and fourth i asked her out for drinks. She didnt shut me down completely but said that next time i was out for drinks with my friends to txt her to come along. Not really sure what means. Is she just on the fence or what.
She did seem to be interested in me asking out a customer. I told her that i almost never did that. It is a little shady and my employer hates hates us doing it but like I said ive being doing this job for 8 years and have never done it before. So is this just her polite way out of shutting me down or what? I dont date much so im kind of clueless lol
It means she didn’t say no.
It sounds to me like what she means is, she might like to see you again, but she’d like to see you among a group.
So text her the next time you’re out with friends. If she doesn’t show, forget her. That would be shutting you down. If she does show then she’s interested.
I’m not seeing good for you, sorry to say.
- The ‘with friends’ things is limp, across the board.
- The ‘employee-client’ thing sounds not good, at least this early. This early, to me, says implied threat to tell your boss. If she had mentioned it later, it would be banter. (I have been wrong on this kind of interpretation before, however.)
My vote: You are dead in the water.
Yeah… It so wasn’t a yes.
Yeah the “with friends” thing is a bad sign.
OTOH she chose to leave the door slightly ajar, when she could just as easily have closed it.
I’d say it’s probably “She likes me as a person, but isn’t feeling any attraction”, with an outside chance of “She’s feeling some attraction, but the situation rings alarm bells and she doesn’t feel comfortable”.
I’d have to know more of how the conversation went to plump for one of these two.
She doesn’t know you so she’s wisely playing it safe. If you text her while out with a group (not too soon) and she can’t make it, that’s not a positive No, either; she may just not be free at the time. But her response should let you know if the door is still open. (If Nawww, forget it. Suggesting another time or something is a Yes.)
My first thought was the second option. If there was no attraction, she could have just responded “no” in short or long form. Many women are very cautious, especially with someone they don’t know and have no connection with (not a friend or relative of a friend, for example). The “with friends” is a little curious, though. Why not respond that you can meet in a coffee shop or restaurant so as to be in a public place and avoid getting into a car with you?
Just the fact that you have friends can tell a woman a lot about a man, but which is it? You’ve never done this before or almost never? You seem to be saying both.
I would be a little wary of a guy who came to my home to do a job, and then asked me out. He would know things like where I live, if I live alone, if I have a dog or an alarm system. He has my cell phone number, but it was given to him for business purposes, not to chat me up.
If your boss hates it when his employees do it, that kinda trumps how the lady feels about going out with you. How good of a date would it have to be to risk getting fired over?
Not good. On top of the cost of drinks, now you’ll have to hire a few people to play your friends.
She’s considering the idea but not instantly attracted. She’d like to get to know you socially, but isn’t ready for a formal date. She also doesn’t want to dismiss the possibility. The whole conversation would be helpful, but was there enough discussion that she’s trying to set up the scenario such that you can honestly tell your boss that you knew her socially before you started dating?
Either way, My advice is to let your boss know before you go any farther. Then do exactly as the lady suggested and no more. Next time you are out with friends, text her.
Don’t let you evening’s happiness depend upon whether she decides to come. If she does, treat her like a friend you are getting to know and take it slow. She is setting boundaries and watching to see if you respect them.
If she doesn’t come, a quick text to let her know you missed her and would love to catch up with her another time, but will wait to hear from her. And in that case, don’t contact her again unless she initiates.
I didnt get the impression she would call and complain about me asking her out. She just wanted to know if i always asked customers out. I told her i almost never did. Which is true. Some of my coworkers look at it as a perk of the job. At this point in my life i’d risk losing my job for a chance of meeting someone interesting.
During the install we talked about something that needed to be looked up online. when i got home i looked it up and sent her a text saying i was right. She came back with kind of a flirty response and we bantered back and fourth for a bit untill i asked her out. I was expecting a solid no or “i have bf”. But we talked a fair bit more about me thinking she owed me a beer. Then she left it at the out with friends things.
Ill probably never txt her back. I just moved to a new city and all my friends are girls who are all younger then me and this girl. I dont know how that would look if she met me in that situation.
One way to find out, and what do you have to lose?
This is what came to my mind.
A lot of people you run into seem sane, especially if you are instantly attracted to them. But that shine may come off when you see them in a different setting.
It was a solid not a no. That’s several steps above definitely no, probably no, I don’t think so, and even ehhhhhhhhhh. It’s not a maybe, but it’s something.
Don’t you dare, or I’ll personally come and kick you in the balls.
One doesn’t ask mom for permission on whom to date, and one DOESN’T talk to the boss about same. I won’t even go into why not-those who won’t know why, and those who will, don’t deserve to know why or will never comprehend why.
Just joking about the balls, but, even so, it would be a mercy to you if you are that big a sap.
Don’t invite her out with friends. You need a 1-on-1. Send her a funny text one morning, elicit a positive response, then quickly ask her out for a drink.
Group date = no date
Text her saying “I’m at <name of bar>. Come have a drink with me.” If she says OK, go to the bar.