WTF? After telling me you love me, then you broke up with me, Ruining the next year of my life. Cheating on your boyfriend with me, then braking up with your boyfriend, then writing me letters about how happy i made you feel and how you were always laughing when you were dating me, then telling me that you don’t want to loose my friendship?!?!? WTF, WTF, WTF?!?!?! You couldn’t make more obvious signs by painting them yourself and hanging them outside my damn window.
“We have an understanding now” (spoken in a snoty, needs to be smacked voice).
Do girls still use that “we have an understanding” crap yet? It’s been 2 decades since I’ve dated, but did i hate that shit when I got dumped. I understand she’s a slut was always my reply. forget it. Get another gal. And get revenge on the guy who has her now…by letting him keep her!
FWIW and IMHO: If she’ll cheat on him to be with you, she’ll cheat on you to be with someone else. And the whole friendship thing is difficult to work. Both people have to agree that the romance is OVER. Otherwise, someone is always mooning around about the other. My advise? Get away from this person. Make it clear you don’t want to play any of these games.
Or do you?
I guess before “we” decide what she means/wants whatever, we need to know where you are at. Do you want to be friends, lovers, what?
I dont want to be just friends with the girl. I’ve never had sex before, and i really wouldnt mind her being my first. I want her more than ever, but she won let me have her.
I agree on this point. If someone is already dating someone, they are automatically off-limits. If they do attempt a relationship with you while dating someone else, this should be a HUGE red flag saying not to trust them. You got your feelings hurt because you trusted a player. Karma strikes at all times.
This isn’t the kind of person you want to lose it to. Trust me, you just chose a person who will hurt you even more if you lose it to her. Don’t even try to do it.
Dude, she’s toying with you. Probably keeping you on the back burner. Run fast and far.
[free_advice]
My litmus test for a new girl is, is she proud to be seen with me? If not, it’s time to say goodbye. It sounds like she is playing her game for her own reasons and isn’t too worried about you. That can get expensive and limit your future real fast.
I don’t know the lady in question, but from what you’ve said I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could drop kick her. She may be a sweet girl, may not have a malicious bone in her body, and still do you more damage than you want to think about just by being thoughtless. A buddy of mine has another 12 years of payments to a girl like that. She’s a nice girl too. The price of lies is high. And of course there are a lot of interesting STDs out there. She wouldn’t? Think again, she might not even know.
Now that’s all fine and easy to say, but I’m willing to bet she has a fabulous shadow to have you wrapped up like this. At your age, I’m guessing that’s enough to give you a testosterone rush up to your chin every time you see her. You may or may not crumble in the clinch.
So if she’s going to toy with you, at least make sure she does it right. But if she does come across, try to keep your head screwed on straight and be ready to land on your feet. And wrap that rascal! Not a lot more you can do if you’re going to stick around.
What they’ve said. She’ll just hurt you more if you stay with her. Pack her in a box and send her to Abu Dhabi if you can (hey, it seemed to work for Garfield…). Don’t trust her.
ssskuggiii – “This isn’t the kind of person you want to lose it to”
If I could comment on that (fuck you, I will anyway!): This isn’t the person you want to GIVE your virginity to. I’m not slamming you ssskugggiii (Goddess, could you have a MORE difficult user name or what?) but virginity, IMHO, is something you give, not lose.
And she sounds like someone that is, well, frankly, jerking you around.
And guys, really, refrain from the attitude that only women do this. Men are just as capable of the “jerk around game”. I’m not pointing the finger at anyone but I’m picking up that scent. Everyone, male or female, is more than capable of playing nasty little games like this.
Been through it? Fuck me. I lived it, for three years. Luckily, when I finally escaped small town-small school life for college, and saw 7,000 wonderful wimmins just a’waitin for me, I dumped her like a fucking turd sack, and have spent the last six months scraping her off my shoe. Yes. She’s tried to get me back, but I got, lesse… really cute russian chick, gorgeous mormon girl, sexy friend Kim, and about a jillion ba-dillion more. Hey, I got options. All I don’t got is time.
Wait for college, buddy. Time of your fucking LIFE.
To men, virginity IS something you lose. We don’t want it, can’t wait to get the fuck away from it. Literally.
I would guess that to women, virginity is something you give, a precious thing to be cherished. Or something. I wouldn’t know. I dropped mine like a ball of flaming dogshit at 16, and then did the happy dance, knowing I was out from under that crushing weight.
Hey, I don’t know… if you really love her… it sounds like she really does care and is just damn confused. My advice would be (take it with a grain of salt) to tell her you care but can’t deal with her flip-flopping… Give her some time to figure it out. Then she should come back to you once she knows what she wants.
Lauren =>
but virginity, IMHO, is something you give, not lose.